So I got the phone call Monday asking if I wanted the full-time job back at the fire department. I told them I would accept and will start April 5. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. I'm nervous because I'm going to have to tell my Sgt either tonight or tomorrow night an it's always so nerve-racking! Plus he is one of the most helpful and nicest supervisors you could ask for. I hate to break the news to him because he's been such a great supervisor. Plus, I love the guys on my shift. They have become like a family to me and I enjoy working with every single one of them. I feel like I'm about to have to disappoint them. I have fun being a police officer, but I know it's not where I truly belong in the long run. So, this time was going to have to come eventually. I'm going to see if they will still allow me to reserve for the department though.

Another reason I'm nervous is because I REALLY wanted to go back to school full time so I can get my accounting degree (and possibly get certified). Accepting this job will probably only allow me to take one or two classes a semester. But, at the same time, I will be doing what I enjoy and getting more work experience with it. Not only will I get to do payroll and accounts payable. But I'll also become a supervisor in the near future. I'm hoping and praying I can make a positive impact and help the department run effectively without too many hiccups.

But I guess I will just have to keep doing the classes until I can eventually get my degree (at this rate, it may take me another 6 years for a bachelors..lol).

Two very good things about this though are that now, God willing, I should be able to make it to all church services...and I should be home every evening (except once a month for the board mtg) to be with John and cook dinner for him. On top of that, no more staying awake alllllll night long!!!

So I'm still praying and asking if this is the right direction..and praying that my shift will be understanding.

Love,
Mrs Young

ps: please don't mention anything about it on facebook since my Sgt is on our friend list..lol

God blessed us with another beautiful day! And He blessed us with a great marriage! Today is our anniversary!!!! 1 year and 4 months to be exact!....hehe. I am so thankful every day that God put John in my life. He sent him just at the right time :-) because I had high expectations of moving away from here to another state right before we started dating. But we saw each other again for the first time in a few months the day after I got back from my roadtrip to find another place to live. We started hanging out some and then a little while later, started dating. What great timing! I thank our Father that He sent John at that exact moment. Everything is in His time! I look forward to spending many many more anniversaries with John. :-)

Just for a quick update: We got moved into our house (it's a temporary rental) about a week and a half ago. But, we haven't been able to unpack a whole lot because of our schedules but also because the landlord still has a LOT of his belongings inside the house and the garage. :-/ He said he was waiting for a shed to come and that he would put all of that in the shed in our backyard. I was kinda hoping this house would feel like it was completely ours...instead of it feeling like someone is kinda letting us live in their house. And, judging from the looks of all of his stuff, he's going to need a REALLY large shed to fit it all in. I really hope that he gets it all in there because we're unable to use the garage and 2 of the bedrooms right now. But, John said he called him last week and supposedly the shed should be here this Thursday!!!...I can't wait....b/c I want to make this place feel like home instead of living out of boxes. :-)

One other drawback is that the house needs a lot of minor work.....I've been doing a move-in checklist for ourselves so that nobody can come back and say we made any of the damage. So far, I've taken at least 70 pictures of minor damage (and I still have 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, and the outside to do). And, the place wasn't exactly clean when we moved in, so I've been doing as much cleaning as I can when I'm not working or doing school. I'm not trying to complain because we love being in a house. It's so much better than being in an apartment! But we really can't do any repairs. It's not our house and since we're only going to be here for a few months probably, we really shouldn't do anything (unless of course the landlord pays for it and lets us help..that would be fun!). But, John has been working on the backyard as much as he can. It needs a complete makeover...and last night we were both working on it for a little while. It will be a fun project though because John plans on doing all the landscaping for the front and back (for a reduced price in rent).

One thing I forgot is how much noise a house makes! Wow it's kinda creepy living in a house! Haha. We hear so many noises...mainly at night when the house is settling back into place. We've enjoyed being in a house so much that sometimes I just like to scream really loud because we don't have to worry about neighbors who share the same wall!! :-) But, for some reason....I feel safer in an apartment. I don't really know why. I guess it's because we were inside gates and there were so many neighbors nearby that SOMEONE would more than likely notice if there was a person going inside our apartment that didn't belong. And, I guess it's also because I hear about more burglaries at houses instead of apartments. But, I'm not sure. I just know that we didn't really ever sleep with our guns by our bedside at the apartment. But, we do here every night. If I'm at home by myself, I have the gun next to me even when I'm watching TV or reading. :-) I think it will just take some getting used to...b/c we're not used to being in an actual house.

It's a good thing I didn't have my gun next to my side Saturday, though. Right after John left to go meet with his parents, someone rang on the doorbell and started trying to open the door with a key. They better be glad I thought it was John returning to get something he forgot. I opened the door and saw 4 complete strangers. Make a long story short, our landlord had this house for sale at the same time he was trying to find a renter. He can't take it off the market for 2 months for some reason. But, the realtor called him earlier in the day to ask if she could show the house. He told her "no" because we're living in it. I guess she didn't understand what "no" means and was trying to get inside....even with my car and the patrol car parked out front. Her response: "I guess you didn't know we were coming?" Uh...no! I actually had no idea and at the time didn't know the house was still on the market. So, I made a nice little note on the front door for realtors to stay away :-)


Anyway, I'm rambling as usual. Just wanted to update ya'll about the house. Also, I have a second interview this afternoon with the FD before my shift. But, I've also been thinking and praying a lot about taking on more college as a full-time student. We'll see what happens and how the interview goes. If anything...if I get the F/T position and leave the F/T job I have now, I would like to take at least 2 classes per semester until I can get my degree. If not, I'd like to be a full-time student. We'll see what God has planned. :-) And, so far I'm doing great in my Government 2 class! It's kinda a struggle though because Government is my least favorite subject.

Everyone have a great week!

Love,
Mrs. Young

P.S - It was so wonderful to see everyone yesterday and was great that John and I both got to go to both worship services together....which is kinda rare for us thanks to our off-the-wall schedules.

Interview tomorrow at my part-time work for a full-time position...we'll see what happens and whether God wants me at that job. My current full-time job doesn't know about the interview (so please don't say anything on facebook or myspace..lol)...Been doing a lot of praying for God to show me the way to go. If I get this position, I will get to do more payroll and accounts payable! And I could sleep at night in the same bed as John and not have to sleep during the day!!..and I would be able to cook dinner every night.. I just wish I could quit working and be a full-time student! That would make things so much easier!

Then, we are moving on Thursday into a house!!!!! But, we still have so much packing to do. It's been hard with us having to work so much and my college class..and on top of that, I have a major class assignment due this Sunday night that I haven't started!! Sooo little time!

So I unfortunately go back to work Monday morning (at midnight Sunday night/Monday morning). So I have to try to stay up until at least 2:00 in the morning tonight, sleep until church starts, then sleep again tomorrow after church so I can stay up until Monday morning. Ugh! On the bright side, I finally get my stitches out Monday morning after work! So excited! I haven't been able to be myself because the doctor has restrictions on me. I've been pushing it a little though because I've been doing some cleaning around the apartment today while John is at work....but I didn't strain myself or do anything the doctor told me not to..don't worry. It's just EXTREMELY hard for me to just lay on the couch all day long for 12 days. So, hopefully the doctor won't be upset that I wasn't on the couch the whole time. :-) I mean...there's church and grocery shopping! Two essentials! :-)
But, like I said, I didn't strain anything.

Anyway, I'm not excited at all about having to go back to work. I haven't been back in almost two weeks and it's been so nice to be around the house with John all the time. I've been able to cook and clean for him...just like before I started this job! It's been wonderful (minus the days I've been extremely sick)...and we've gotten to spend a lot of quality time together. I wish work wasn't necessary.

So, I've been kinda down a lot lately...about my job. Hopefully nobody from there will read this...but I'm just not happy. The money is nice...but it's not my dream job. It's not what I feel like my "calling" is. I've been in this field for 7 years now and I think it's run its course. We decided for me to apply for this job last year so that we could get extra money coming in because my other job only pays $10/hour. But, I'm miserable. Yeah, it's fun to fight and chase people...and to get the occasional adrenaline rush. But it's not so nice to rarely see John...to not get to study God's Word as much as I'd like....to wonder every day if I'm going to come home safely....to have one messed up schedule...and to know that this isn't the job I really want to do..etc. I'm going to try to stick with the job as long as I can...but one thing I do know is that I don't want to be doing this same job when we have children. One problem I have is I'm afraid it will look bad if I quit this job so soon. I don't think my resume looks all that great because if I don't like a job, I don't stay there very long. That's my fault though because I keep getting into jobs that I already know I won't like and that I know I don't want to be in forever. It makes me feel irresponsible. But, I want to be responsible...and get a degree and do what I really want!

I REALLY want to finish college. I've been trying on and off for 10 1/2 years now! I'm taking one class this semester (because my work schedule is so busy). A degree is something I really long for and wish I already had. But....money is an issue....college costs money. I don't even know how to look up grants and all that. I do know I don't want any loans because I don't want to have to pay something back with interest. Another issue is I can't decide between two degrees. I either want to get a degree in teaching (either interdisciplinary for elementary OR Math or English for up to 8th grade) OR accounting. Teaching or accounting? I have to figure that one out.

I want to try to find people who are in these particular fields who will let me sit in at their job one day and watch what they do. Besides praying, I think this is the only way I'll be able to figure out which one I want to do. I've been weighing out all the pros and cons of each in my head. I still don't know. I've been so tempted to quit my current job numerous times so that I can work more hours at my other $10/hour job part-time (that has some accounting tasks) and take on more college classes. But, I don't want us to be stressed about money. We just have to keep praying....God will show us what to do....I know. I also want to get started back on a degree NOW because I don't want to start a career at an older age. I want to be able to retire before I'm 80. :-)

On a side note....something kinda ironic....is the two fields I'm interested are the two careers my late grandparents had. My grandpa was an accountant til the day he died....my grandma was a teacher. My mom is a teacher also (way up in Dallas)....and I think my great grandma might have been a teacher too. :-)

So, I'm on a journey now....gonna keep on praying about what I should do about my current job and about what degree to pursue. In the meantime, I am going to try to find people who don't mind me having a "career day" at their work. If anyone knows of anyone in those particular fields, please let me know.

Anyway, that's all for now. I've had that on my chest for a while now. :-)

I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend and I'm looking forward to worship services tomorrow.

Love,
Mrs. Young

So it's already been a month since my grandpa passed away. It doesn't even seem like it's been that long. We still miss him so much and it feels so weird for him not to be here. It really felt weird when John and I went up to Dallas for christmas. We were getting gifts for everyone and I kept telling him that I feel like we're forgetting something. I couldn't figure out what we were missing...then I realized that emptiness was because we wouldn't be able to buy a gift for my Papa.

I know a lot of people think that 85 is old. But, I believe it is a very young age...especially for my grandpa. He didn't act or look like he was 85. He was so bright and intelligent....and very comical. That's why it was so hard for me to let him go at the age of 85. It still hurts so much. He was like a dad to me. He was the male influence I had the most growing up. I looked up to him and wanted to be like him. He was an elder at the West Main church of Christ for a while...and I can still remember sitting next to him in church when I was younger than 6. He had all the books you could imagine inside their house in reference to the Bible. He had so many commentaries (many of which he has let me borrow over the years). He even gave me a big red Bible when I was about 14 that he had used for a long time...it was my very own first Bible and I still use it. We would spend time with him and my Mema ALL the time. They were the ones we would go to when we wanted to be spoiled and when we were sick from school. If it wasn't for my grandpa's influence, I have a feeling that there's a possibility I may not be a Christian today. I may not have known the Truth....but his influence helped me to seek the Truth. It's so hard to believe that they are now both gone. I have no grandparents left. I'm only 28 and have no grandparents. Again, I feel like that's too young.

My work suffered during the two weeks I was in Dallas. But, I don't care. I missed two weeks of work and a lot of unpaid time. I feel like my supervisors might also be a little frustrated with me because I missed so much work. But, I don't regret it one bit. Even if I lost my job over it, I wouldn't care. I was there for my Papa. I was there to hold his hand and kiss his cheek as he took his last breath....that's what I care about!

My Papa had a stroke on December 6 at his home by himself. My mom found him a couple hours later. What's weird is John and I were in the Bahamas December 1 through December 6 and each time we prayed while we were there, I wanted to make sure we included that our families were safe and healthy. Something felt weird....like something wasn't right. We really didn't have a way to keep in contact with our families while we were there unless we wanted to pay $3 per minute to call. So we kept hoping and praying everyone was all right....but we also wanted to relax and enjoy our trip. John later told me that during the trip, he also felt like something was not right back home. Well, we got back to San Antonio on December 6 around 4:30 or 5 pm. We got a call at 10:00 pm that my grandpa was in the hospital and was believed to have had a stroke some time between 4:30 and 7. The last words I think he heard before his stroke were when my mom called him to tell him that John and I were back in San Antonio from the Bahamas and that our luggage hadn't shown up yet. I can't help but think that maybe he was sad that we had gone on a trip and he couldn't do the same with Mema...or maybe sad that I didn't call and tell him myself that we were back in town....or maybe he died happy knowing that I was happy. But I was thankful that this stroke didn't happen while we were out of country....we wouldn't have been able to know and wouldn't have been there to be with Papa. It's almost like he waited until he knew everyone could be there with him.

Anyway, so John and I rushed up to Dallas immediately and I called my work to tell them I would not be in that night. We visited Papa every single day in the ICU in Parkland and spent most of every day there....I hated having to leave every day...I wanted to be there with him at all times. But we had to sleep and take showers at some point. He was basically in a coma and the doctors kept telling us he had no chance of recovery. Even if he were to live, he would not be the same...he would be on a ventilator for the rest of his life and not really know what's going on. I kept disagreeing with the doctors. My Papa was a lot stronger than that. He had been through so much more and made it out just fine numerous times out of ICU and the hospital. I didn't want to let him go!!

Since he was staying about the same all week and hadn't improved any...and the doctors kept repeating the same outcome....the decision was made among family to go ahead and take the ventilator out on December 10 (the 7-year anniversary of when his brother passed away)...to see if he could breathe naturally. John, my brother (Daniel), my sister-in-law, and I decided to stay in the room while they took the ventilator out. I thought I could handle it....but as soon as they took it out, I lost it. But, I still stayed in the room for Papa. He was breathing on his own....but it didn't sound good. It was very loud and labored.

We all stayed there a little bit longer that evening. They moved him to a different room and my mom stayed there for the night. John and I went to get a motel closer to the hospital than where we had been staying at my brother's. We got up early the next morning and went to the hospital. My mom hadn't slept all night. As it got later in the evening that day on December 11, my mom kept telling us that we can go ahead and go get some rest back at my brother's...but I couldn't leave my Papa. His breathing kept slowing down and I had a feeling his end was near. So, I said I wanted to stay at least a little bit longer. So John, my mom, and I were in that room and then about 8:33 pm came.....he took a breath...and then he didn't breathe for what seemed like at least 30 seconds. We knew it was time. The three of us gathered closer around him and we kept repeating to him how much we love him and that we're going to miss him. His breathing had quieted down and slowed down a LOT. I kissed him on the cheek and his mouth puckered together like he wanted to give me a kiss back because he knew he was about to leave. And then at 8:35 pm, he left with the three of us by his side and me holding his hand and I think my mom holding the other.

John and I went home the afternoon of the 13th after church so that he could go to work on the 14th and we could get more clothes and all that...and so he could use a sick day/bereavement day for the funeral. We went back up to Dallas on the 15th. The visitation was on the 16th...funeral on the 17th....and my mom's birthday on the 18th.

I just wanted to thank all of you for all your words of kindness, encouragement, and sympathy...and for all the visits he had while he was in the hospital...and for everyone who sent cards and flowers and came to the funeral...and visitation......just thank you to everyone. Papa was very well-loved and admired. He was a great man and will never be forgotten.

I just had to let this all out because I've been holding it in for a month now and just needed to release it to feel better. Even if nobody reads this, I feel better for writing it. :-)

And I also wanted to thank my wonderful husband, John....who was there for me and for all my family...and most especially for Papa. If John had not been there, I don't think I could have stayed as strong. John was and is such a blessing and has helped so much during all of this. He took so much time off from his own work to be there with me and keep me and my family strong. Thank you so much, John. And I thank God for putting John in my life..and I thank Him for giving my brother and I such a wonderful grandpa to look up to.

Love,
Mrs. Young