Notice:

at 03/19/10 10:23PM
People who plug their computer keyboards into hi-fi systems aren't idiots. That would be stereotyping.
  • AlanL
    They'd have to be geniuses, I think, to find a socket to match the plug, unless it was a really newfangled hi-fi with USB.
    by AlanL at 03/19/10 10:34PM
  • tgatzajr
    My radio only has one speaker so I guess it would be a monotype....
    by tgatzajr at 03/20/10 9:43AM

Rodently...

at 03/18/10 8:59PM
I know an eager-beaver District Attorney who ferreted out how someone badgered a politician into weaseling out of a contract on a rabbit farm.
  • kailua
    Oh dat waskuwee wabbit. I hate dat wabbit!
    by kailua at 03/19/10 12:50AM

Monday....

at 03/15/10 11:17AM
“On Monday, when the sun is hot,
I wonder to myself a lot:
Now is it true, or is it not,
That what is which and which is what?'”
A. A. Hodges
  • ceoltoir
    Tis not true, precisely.
    by ceoltoir at 03/15/10 12:00PM
  • tgatzajr
    You're confusing my muddleld up bain with that one......
    by tgatzajr at 03/15/10 12:08PM
  • kailua
    If that avatar is a pic of you, may I suggest you see your dentist - regularly, often and soon!
    by kailua at 03/15/10 2:57PM
  • AlanL
    I'm clueless.
    by AlanL at 03/15/10 3:32PM

Virus

at 03/14/10 7:52AM
Well I got a virus on my computer which fried my hard drive. :( So it's in the shop. I have often wondered if the virus protection companies don't write the viruses themselves. Kinda like the tale wagging the dog. So I am having to borrow my wife's laptop (I hate laptops) My hands and fingers are too big. I am having a hard time finding new humor to post. I am recycling several of the ones I told here on Face Book. Problem is I am limited to 420 characters on Face Book, so I must either trim them or post them in the comments section. So some of my favorite Shaggy Dog stories can't be told effectively. I think the art of the well thought-out, clever, clean joke is dying out. :( Must be the economy. I am now saving daylight are you?

John,
  • ceoltoir
    I don't like the time change. But I do like laptops. Mine has a full-size keyboard. Wanna use it? All you have to do is take a little trip to St.L.
    by ceoltoir at 03/14/10 8:17AM
  • kailua
    Thanks to Ben Franklin and Daylight Savings Time the sleep deprived stock exchange traders lose up to $31 Billion the first week it starts. The number of major heart attacks also rise. Thanks Benny!
    by kailua at 03/14/10 10:02AM
  • tgatzajr
    That stinks! I've that some viruses can damage the hardware. First thing you need to do when you get it back is load up Ubuntu Linux. You'll never have another virus problem again.

    Am I saving daylight? I'll let you know when I get the light bill......:-)
    by tgatzajr at 03/14/10 1:57PM
  • friedaj
    You are still funny
    by friedaj at 03/14/10 8:30PM
  • ceoltoir
    I agree ^.
    by ceoltoir at 03/14/10 10:02PM

Babies

at 03/10/10 8:22AM
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in the distant rural regions of Ireland with no running water, no electricity, none of the creature comforts. One night, Mikes' wife goes into labor. The local doctor is there in attendance.

"What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?"

"Hold the lantern, Mikey. Here it comes!" The doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see. "Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy."

"Saints be praised, I..."

Before Mike can finish the doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mikey." Soon the doctor delivers the next child. "You've a full set now, Mikey. A beautiful baby daughter."

"Thanks be to..."

Again the doctor cuts in. "Hold the lantern, Mikey! Hold the lantern!" Soon the doctor delivers a third child. The doctor holds up the third baby for Mike's inspection.

"Doctor," asks Mike, "do you think it's the light that's attracting 'em?"

  • kailua
    Funny laugh for the day.
    by kailua at 03/10/10 1:30PM
  • granny
    I had (HAD) to come over and say hay :)
    That's a fine looking head you've got in that photo -- uh, the cabbage.

    I love the chuckle -- I think wifey would also be wondering if its the light!
    by granny at 03/11/10 1:58AM
  • friedaj
    I was wondering what the treatment would be. Do you know what the side effects of Remicaid might be? Thanks
    by friedaj at 03/11/10 9:26AM
  • kailua
    Just told my mum your joke above (complete with Irish accent). She laughed so hard! :-)
    by kailua at 03/11/10 12:24PM
  • tgatzajr
    Irish Rednecks....Who would have thought! :-)
    by tgatzajr at 03/11/10 10:31PM