I was weed eating my creek bank today when I startled a lime green frog off the bank into the water where it was promptly caught by a snake. I watched as that snake "swallowed that poor boy whole." The frog emitted a defiant ribbet just as he disappeared down the snake's gullet. Then it struck what I had just witnessed, a frog croaking.
Whats so wild about this tale is that it actually happened to me. I guess this proves that the pun does exist in nature and should be protected and studied.
A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery
and the importance of curiosity. "Where would we be today,"
she asked, "if no one had ever been curious?"
One child quietly spoke up from the back of the room. "In the
Garden of Eden?"
1. Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese Soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 200 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
7. 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer = 1 Lite year
8. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
9. Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
10. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahertz
11. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
12. Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line
13. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilo mockingbirds
14. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton
15. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
16. 8 nickles = 2 paradigms
17. 1 thousandth billionth of a nasal itch = 1 pico nose
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you do not know about what you are talking.
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.