I need to review another Zelda game. I did after all say I was going to play all of them, and it has been several...weeks...since my last review. So what game should I play next?

And it won't be the CD-i games. Those are so glorious and obviously deserve perfect 10s that there's no sense in even reviewing them.

I'm sorry it took me so long to put my review up, but well...I had a hard time playing Ocarina of Time. I don't know, I guess after playing the Zelda trilogy on my CD-i I had better expectations. It's not all bad, but it's disappointing.

The game started out well enough. Real 3D! We could only dream about that on the CD-i. But every good things comes at a price, and the price in this case is the lack of artistic animation such as seen in my game. The characters are a bit blocky too. Well, I was just about all past that, when something truly horrible jumped out at me.

Link isn't wearing any pants!!!

Rest assured, I would never have allowed him to come traipsing into my castle without his knickers! I don't know who's obscene idea this was, but frankly I was disgusted! I had to play the entire game with my eyes closed for fear that Link would moon me! That is, until I got the Master Sword (why they have a Master Sword, I don't know, a regular sword was good enough in my games!) and Link inexplicably turned into an adult and grew pants. Yes, that's right. He grew them. Or maybe that sage guy put some pants on him while he was asleep.

Of course, I couldn't understand why pulling the sword caused him to grow up, but I was past trying to understand the game at this point. After that I slashed some stuff, and I hacked some stuff, and I played my little Ocarina (not a very masculine thing to do, hmph!) and then fought Gannon. And then the game was over. Very predictable to say the least.

There was one thing I really liked about this game, though, and that was Saria. She was a total hottie! I need to try to find her and hook up with her. Maybe if I had a girlfriend then Impa would stop making eyes at me.

Overall though this game was very disappointing. My score: 2/10

I started playing the super-popular Zelda: Ocarina of Time today. Up till now, the only games I'd ever played were the awesome Zelda Trilogy on the Phillips CD-i, and let me tell you, this blocky 3D N64 Zelda has nothing on them! But, I'll still play it through, just in case it gets better.

And then when I'm done, I'm going to post a full review of it on my blog!

I've come to this blog to find the answer to my deepest ponderings. I wonder what's for dinner.