Ever since I've gotten to Kansas, I believe I've been suffering from some form of insomnia. I haven't been able to sleep more than four hours at a time. Hence why I'm posting this so early. I've actually been up for quite a while.

I had a very difficult night last night, and I want to share with you what happened, because you might have seen some of the posts I made on pleonast, and I want to make sure I didn't cause anyone distress by them.

I have been working on a sermon all week based around 1 Kings 19. In that chapter Elijah hits rock bottom and journeys to Mount Horeb where the Lord declares that he is going to pass by. A mighty wind, earthquake and fire come by, but the Lord is not in any of them. Then a whisper comes, and the Lord is in the whisper.

I had been struggling with this passage, trying to get the sermon to come out right. I had rewritten it three times by Saturday afternoon, and I was confident I had gotten it down. At about 5pm I was going over it one last time to make sure. About ten minutes into it, I started seeing, for lack of a better description, holes that were greatly concerning me. By 5:30 I called Jerry to get his opinion on what I should do, and by 6:00 I realized I needed to rewrite the sermon again.

This completely trashed my plans for my Saturday evening. I quickly ran out and got something to eat and got back to work.

And I sit... for about an hour. Nothing is coming, I can't see a way out of this mess I've gotten myself into. So during this hour I reread 1 Kings 19 a few times, then I go back to 17 and read up through chapter 19.

This last time I go through chapter 19, my eyes stop at the whisper. God whispers, "Why are you here, Elijah?" I had been studying this passage all week, and read it over several times in the past hour, and yet this time it hits me square in the face:

"Why are you here?"

I realize that this question is being posed to me. Why am I here? Why am I in Kansas at all? Why am I preaching? Why? I realize that in all the hectic moving and settling into Wichita, I haven't bothered to ask that question. And it now hit me like a ton of bricks... that I didn't know why at all.

I simply broke down. Now I had no sermon, and I was doubting just about everything in my life up to this point. Around 7pm I made a post on pleonast with my cell phone number asking for anyone to talk to, simply because I did not know what else to do.

I was still trying to get my sermon done, even in this almost hysteric state of mine, about 7:20, I just cannot handle it anymore. I put the sermon aside, I go to a quiet place and I pray. And I prayed until 8:30.

A lot of things came out during that prayer. I ultimately realized that in my ignorance, I had become the Elijah of 1 Kings 19. I doubted my abilities, doubted what good I could do, and did not know "why I was here."

The answer, and I believe this was the same for Elijah, was that I am here to do the Lord's work. The work that only I can do. The work that he needs me to do. It doesn't matter that I'm young, that I'm not the best speaker, that I'm not as intelligent as some other people. What does matter is if I follow God as best as I can.

With this new found revelation, the sermon simply writes itself. by 9pm, I had it finished. By 10 pm, I've gone over it, and did a trial run of it. And it was good.

Talk about a trial by fire...

Anyway, thanks for reading if you got all the way through.

I'm struggling coming up with Narnia names to fit all of 'em in.

Blogger did something and ate up my blog or something. I've tried getting it back, but one thing Google doesn't seem to have is good customer service. So I've moved my alternate blog to Livejournal. You can go to http://briefconceits.livejournal.com if you're interested.

What is (or rather will be) on my alternate blog that is not on this one? Well, I plan to put up writing samples and poems, as well as just update it more. There are still some elements of pleonast that I'm not comfortable with, and a move somewhere else lets me be more creative and open than I can be here.

I was offered a job as a preaching intern with the Pleasant Valley Church of Christ in Wichita, Kansas, and I've decided to take it.

I will be leaving for Kansas at the end of May.

So, that will bring to a close my excursion in North Carolina, keeping it from being the number one place I've lived the plurarlity of my life (that honor continuing to stay with Kansas City, Missouri).

I'm psyched about finally achieving independence... though, I didn't realize there's so much stuff to do in order to do it. I've got to find a mover, get my own insurance, pay all sorts of new fees once I get to Kansas.... financial independence is more like financial slavery... to the government..

I tried to answer her question in comment form, but found it way too long for that, so I might as well post my response in a post.

What would I do toward illegal immigration?

It's simple, and it consists of three major parts:
*Increased border security
*Allow for some mechanism to legalize the status of the otherwise law-abiding illegal residents in America all ready
*Change immigration laws to deal with the current situation and need for labor in the US

You increase border security to prevent the further flow of illegal immigration.

You also create a mechanism to legalize illegals. Right now, they exist in a legal limbo. Most of them won't be deported, and yet they also cannot get the benefit of many public services, mainly because they aren't paying taxes.

This legalization could require a fine to be paid, a requirement to pay back-taxes, and possibly some other hoops to jump through to obtain a temporary visa.

Since mass deportation is not feasable, finding a way to get these people some way to come back into good standing with the US is the only way to handle the problem.

Now, talking about cheap labor and house prices. If house prices are kept artificially low by paying people (I don't care if they're illegal or not) wages well below what they should be getting, then I see that as a form of exploitation. You need to pay for what you get, if not, then you're essentially stealing from the workers by not paying them what they rightfully should earn.