We’ve reached the point in the year where everyone reflects on the past year. Some make resolutions for the new year: lose weight, get better grades, run a marathon, etc. But something that caught my attention was looking back to see who I was earlier this year, compared to who I am now and how I got to where I am.

My life has taken several twists and turns this year that I wasn’t expecting, but through the almost-vomit-inducing-spins, I found some amazing blessings along the way. I’ve seen friends come and go, heartaches of many kinds; I’ve watched people turn their backs on God, and watched tears fall from the eyes of dear friends while wiping away my own. This year, I have had to learn how to let go. That’s a hard lesson to learn and one that God is still teaching me now. But even though at times I felt like everything was changing, I realized there is one that hadn’t and never would change. God. Most would agree that God’s character never changes, but sometimes it takes losing something to realize how good God really is. I know that may sound counter productive, but in that situation you learn what truly matters and what isn’t worth your time. I think a lot of times we take God for granted until He is convenient for us. How wrong and stupid that attitude is! Get comfortable with God, but never get comfortable with where you are with God: cling, desire, and love harder! Those blessings will last a lifetime. People will come and go in your life, things will break, and tears will fall. There’s only One thing you will need to get through all of that, The Lord. Make this year better than the last, no matter what changes may come, by strengthening your relationship with God. It’s the best “resolution” to make.

I sit here, typing, deleting, and reflecting. Last year, one of my best friends, Kelsey, wrote a list of resolutions that she wanted to complete that year. The list was passed on and on and read thousands of times by people all over the world. Unlike Kelsey, my gift isn’t in writing. But I think she would appreciate (or laugh at, haha) my attempt to sum up the past year in words. She’s a big reason as to why I felt the need to write this. I’ve been thinking about what I wanted to say for a couple weeks hoping for inspiration, but no amazing ideas ever came. They say to write about what you know; and that’s exactly what I did. I want you to be able to experience the greatest kind of love there is: The Love of God.

Remember:
• “Nothing worth getting comes easily.”
• “With every passing second comes a second chance.”
• “I am completely dependent on a strength that is not my own, a wisdom I cannot comprehend, and a love I can only pathetically imitate.”
• “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. – Phil. 4:13’
And:
God loves you very much!!

Happy New Years Everyone! May God bless you in your walk of life this coming year.

Leaving for Memphis on Friday for the St. Jude Walk. Update to come :)
In the meantime, if any one wants to donate to St. Jude, send me a message on pleo and I'll give you the link. I couldn't find the way to make a cool link thing on here:P

Driving back from Madison last night, I turned my ipod on and started to listen to some music. After a few minutes I realized that I was overshadowing my music with thoughts of worry. Everyone has things they worry about: money, what college to choose, friends, family, you name it and someone in this world has probably worried about it. But worry has NO place in a Christian's life. Instead of wasting my time while driving last night, I found a sermon entitled, "Overcoming Worry", pushed play, and started listening.
God has provided us with everything we need (and will need) and more! God is THE thing that we need, he is the source for why we SHOULDN'T and have NO REASON to worry about anything. Take a look at these verses:

Matthew 6:25-34“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
“So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

1 Peter 5:6-7"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."

There are more verses I could have used but these are the ones I personally found to be the most helpful. We should learn to be content. Notice I say learn, it's not something you're born with, it takes a lot of discipline and focus on the Lord. But we have a God that is so willing to help us when we turn to Him! Look at what Paul says in Philippians 4.
(verses 11-12) "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

Paul tells us what that secret is in the next verse:
(verse 13) "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

GOD is the answer!

One of the quotes that I heard in the sermon last night said: "Worry is prayer to the wrong god."
Who have you been praying to lately?

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing." - 2 Timothy 4:7-8

Can this be said of you?

Where are you going in your life right now? Not 5 years from now, not where you’ve been…where are you now, and where do you want to be in your spiritual life?
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." - Matthew 6:34

Just some thoughts to think about from a lesson I gave at camp. God Bless!

I want to say how encouraging it was to see the amount of love for Kelsey and how many people showed up on Friday morning. I heard the number was around 400-500 people. I want to thank all of you who came, I know it was encouraging to me and I'm sure it was much appreciated by the Harris family as well. Simon asked me to post what I said at Kelsey's funeral on Friday on my blog. So here is my tribute to Kelsey.

When I sat down to write this I really had no idea what I wanted to say. No thoughts or words really sounded good enough but I knew that whatever I said today had to come from my heart. I was blessed with the pleasure to call Kelsey one of my best friends for 8 years now. I thank the Lord for putting Kelsey in my life because she has inspired me in so many ways. Her faith inspires me greatly, she was one of the strongest examples of faith I know. I have told so many people that I want to have a faith like her’s one day; that’s a goal that I hope to accomplish. Kelsey inspires me to have a greater love, she helped show me what true love is all about. There are so many ways that my life has been influenced by her, and it’s been such an honor to have known her. I wish you all knew her like I did. I know Kelsey wouldn’t have liked it if I just ended right there. She would want people to be happy and to think back on some fun memories. I know most of you won’t understand why this next sentence is so significant but it’s one of the first memories that I have with Kelsey. “I would appreciate a bowl”. Now to explain the story that has caused endless teasing from Kelsey and her family. One of the first times I was at her house I realized something: I can’t say the word “bowl”. At the time, we were making some random concoction of beauty products, known to Kelsey as “smelly goody stuff”. I was 10, and she was 8. I looked at Kelsey and said, “I need a bowl”. She looked at me dumbfounded and repeated the word back, “a bowl.” I for one couldn’t see why this request was so confusing…all I wanted was a bowl to put the ice in I think it was. This went on for a couple minutes before we realized why we were so confused. She thought I meant a “bull” like the animal, while I meant a “bowl” like you use for cereal. Sure it took us several minutes of talking and a few hand gestures to figure out what we meant, but we laughed so hard that day because I apparently can’t say the word “bowl” correctly…according to Kelsey that is. I have never lived that story down, and I hope I never do, because every time I think about it, I laugh and think of Kelsey.
There’s so many memories I could have chosen, but I thought I’d share the one that was when our friendship first began. The times I’ve shared with Kelsey will never be forgotten. I will laugh, love, and cherish them forever. I am honored to have called Kelsey one of my best friends. She will be greatly missed in my life. Kelsey, thank you. Just, thank you.

I’d like to share something will all of you that I wrote a couple months ago during some hard times in my life. It starts out by saying:

Ever feel that you’ve gotten more than you bargained for? That you’ve got too much to handle?

Some days I feel like I’ve been training for a spiritual 5k race. It’s only a little over 3 miles, so my endurance doesn’t have to be too great, and it feels like just the amount I can handle. I’ve been preparing for this race for about a month now. I’ve been reading my Bible and praying more, and just all over trying to be the Christian the Lord wants me to be. I thought I was doing well in preparing for this race. I even tried to up my endurance level by talking to more people about spiritual things and attending gospel meetings. I felt confident that I was ready for my 5k, and that it wouldn’t be a problem. That it may even feel easy.

I showed up on race day bright and early and started with a quick warm up before I joined the crowd at the starting line. The gun was shot and the race started, and I took off with a smile on my face. I quickly realized that this wasn’t my race that I had signed up for. God had switched me and signed me up for a marathon. I got to mile marker 3 and immediately started saying “God this isn’t what I signed up for, I finished what I had planned. I want to be done.” God’s immediate reply was “keep going, I have faith in you.” By mile 6 I started to reason with God saying, “Lord, I’ve doubled what I planned to do, isn’t that enough?!” The Lord responded with, “Was it enough that I sent my Son to you and He was ridiculed in return?” I saw God’s point and started to run with a new vigor. I looked at the examples of those running before me, and decided to myself that if they could do it, so could I. I ran several miles without noticing because of how focused I’d become. By now the sun was out, and shining brightly…and it got hot. It didn’t take long before I saw mile marker 12 and started to complain to God saying, “Lord, it’s hot, I’m thirsty, my legs hurt, and I feel like I’m going to pass out…I just can’t take this anymore! I tried Lord.” The Lord’s response to me was this: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Well I kept running, but I muttered under my breath about how this wasn’t what I signed up for and how this was anything but a “light burden”. Soon I saw a little stand by the side of the rode passing out cups of water. I slowed down enough to take a quick drink and throw the cup by the wayside, not even paying attention to who handed the cup of water to me. By mile 16 I saw a couple sitting on the ground cheering loudly for all that passed by, including me. I threw a quick smile to them, but kept on going. I ran for awhile longer wondering why God had signed me up for this race. Didn’t he know I wasn’t prepared for this?! My frustration continued to grow, until I felt a drop of rain on my cheek. I was about to lose it at that point when I heard God say to me, “just a little while longer, you’re almost there. I have faith in you.” Even though I was frustrated, exhausted, and in pain, I continued to push myself forward to the goal.

I only had three more miles to go before I crossed the finish line and I decided I wasn’t going to have come this far only to turn back. I started to run faster, knowing that soon this race would be over. When I saw the finish line in sight, I gave it all I had and sprinted for the Goal. My feet crossed the finish line and I saw God standing there beside me grinning widely and calling out my name. He looked at me and said “Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.” I looked at God and said “why did you sign me up for the Marathon when you knew I had only prepared for the 5k?” God looked into my eyes and said, “Because I knew you could do it, I had faith in you. I also knew you wouldn’t learn much from the race you had signed up for; you wouldn’t appreciate the final goal. I also knew that if I let you run the race you had planned on, you would only depend on yourself, and never fully depend on Me.” Just then a thought dawned on me and I realized how wrong I had been. I looked up and said “That was You wasn’t it Lord? You were the one that gave me a cup of water; You were the one that sent someone to cheer me along. You were the one to send rain when I complained that it was too hot. You were there all along and I didn’t recognize it! I then realized how blind sighted I had been and fell down to the Lord asking for forgiveness. The Lord pulled me up and said “ yes, that was Me. You asked for help and I provided. Even when you didn’t ask and you complained to me, I still provided.”

I walked further with the Lord realizing how much He had helped me through the race. Not realizing what He had planned for me, because I couldn’t see the whole picture, and the Lord could. That was the day I learned to put all my trust in God and depend on Him fully. He knows best. The Lord took me on a different path that day then I had planned, but I learned so much from it, and was reminded that His thoughts are not my thoughts, and that God is the only one who can see the whole picture, He knows what He’s doing when He signs you up for a different race than you had planned.

Kelsey has left us a great example of faith, and I hope that motivates all of us. She is now one of those, cheering us on, and waiting for the day when we reunite with her. Kelsey this is for you. I’m checking “speaking in front of a large group of strangers”, off your wish list today. I’ll love you forever and always Kelsey and I can’t wait for the day where we will meet again in Heaven.

~written by me on 4/8/09