Cute?
Hey so I know it's been a while and I'm not sure if anyone will see this but that's alright it's more for myself anyway.
Recently a friend of mine whom I just became friends with over the last month noticed I was different.
From the beginning she knew (as it should be) but then she decided to break through and ask me straight up.
She asked me "Cody I have to ask, are you a virgin?"
Shocked that she just so boldly asked told me that she already knew the answer
I smiled and proudly said "yes I am"
She asked "by choice?"
Again I smiled and said "yes"
From what she knew about me and had figured out, she drew the following conclusion before I could explain it myself.
"So you must be waiting for marriage and you are saving yourself"
"Absolutely, it's a commitment I made long ago" I replied.
Then she said the most infuriating thing I've heard. She didn't mock me, or roll her eyes she just simply stated
"Aww that's so cute"
Cute?
I fail to see how this could be described as cute.
Perhaps on my wedding day it will be "cute" in a way, but it is not cute now.
It is love
Real love
It is a rock hard self-sacrificing commitment to 3 people
My spouse
Myself
And My God
Because of my commitment I have been separated, set apart, made holy from probably 99% of the male population
In generations past it was not cute but expected
A man in earlier times who has my resolve on this matter was considered a man of virtue, valor, honor, and discipline
That man was respected, but today is reduced to a silly way of life, considered outdated and useless.
However it is not outdated or useless.
Men, who exercise self-control in their life over this matter, can surely conquer ANY other matter.
It is, sadly enough, that great of a battle. Because man was not meant to be alone.
Ever since my friend learned that I was a virgin she has been asking me other questions
"Have I ever had a girlfriend?"
"Have I ever kissed anyone?"
Etc.
I answered these questions yes and not ashamedly
However do I wish that I had not? Absolutely.
Not that I think these things are sinful at all.
But think of this. I have not always had such resolve or courage.
I have had girlfriends
I have kissed multiple girls
And I have done things and seen things that I am not proud of
And because I HAVE had these experiences I am plagued with a taste of what they bring and I have chosen to ignore their enticements
Making my resolve SO much more difficult.
It's been over a year and a half since I've dated anybody and over a year since I've kissed anybody
I say this not to brag, or for attention but to draw a light to the fact that it's possible and profitable
Some days my resolve is more difficult to maintain than other days
But that is just all the more reason to continue pressing on.
The reason I have chosen this life for myself is because...
It's what God wants
It's what my wife would want
But it is soooooooo much bigger than that.
It is love
Waiting is painful
My heart often aches when I'm forced to think about my loneliness
I want someone to depend on
Someone to hold close
Someone to show how much I've loved them for a long time
I WILL NOT SETTLE FOR A SUBSTITUE
And that is what this world does
Satan spreads this lie that you don't have to wait to fill the whole in your heart,
That you can date people now and if you have sex you will be loved
And they will fulfill this gap and you will be ACCEPTED
THIS IS A LIE
Everybody I have ever known who truly takes a deep look into themselves sees that their "love" for their boyfriends/girlfriends was really just selfishness and satisfying a desire and a lust that they had in the moment.
BUT IT IS NOT LOVE
It ends in ruins and the people involved feel more alienated than they ever did because they gave their heart away and it was ended.
What they experienced was fake and temporary
What I wait for is real and permanent
What they felt grew weaker until it died
What I will have will grow stronger with time
They got their rewards immediately and they have already been spent
I have endured to seek a benefit later but I will be given in abundance
ANY SEXUAL GRATIFACTION THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN IN THE CONFINES OF MARRIAGE IS A SIN, AND IT IS SAD, BECAUSE IT BRINGS NOTHING BUT MORE HURT
Ever since my friend found out that I have not had sex she has looked at me and acted toward me as someone who hasn't seen the real world yet, as if I were a baby, as if I am missing out.
It's funny because I look at her the same way.
Don't tell me that my beliefs and commitments are cute.
They are more real than anything that worldly people experience
They have made me a man of honor, virtue, respect, and dignity
I will keep to my commitments though at sometimes they are challenged
Because I said I would
And because I LOVE my wife
Recently a friend of mine whom I just became friends with over the last month noticed I was different.
From the beginning she knew (as it should be) but then she decided to break through and ask me straight up.
She asked me "Cody I have to ask, are you a virgin?"
Shocked that she just so boldly asked told me that she already knew the answer
I smiled and proudly said "yes I am"
She asked "by choice?"
Again I smiled and said "yes"
From what she knew about me and had figured out, she drew the following conclusion before I could explain it myself.
"So you must be waiting for marriage and you are saving yourself"
"Absolutely, it's a commitment I made long ago" I replied.
Then she said the most infuriating thing I've heard. She didn't mock me, or roll her eyes she just simply stated
"Aww that's so cute"
Cute?
I fail to see how this could be described as cute.
Perhaps on my wedding day it will be "cute" in a way, but it is not cute now.
It is love
Real love
It is a rock hard self-sacrificing commitment to 3 people
My spouse
Myself
And My God
Because of my commitment I have been separated, set apart, made holy from probably 99% of the male population
In generations past it was not cute but expected
A man in earlier times who has my resolve on this matter was considered a man of virtue, valor, honor, and discipline
That man was respected, but today is reduced to a silly way of life, considered outdated and useless.
However it is not outdated or useless.
Men, who exercise self-control in their life over this matter, can surely conquer ANY other matter.
It is, sadly enough, that great of a battle. Because man was not meant to be alone.
Ever since my friend learned that I was a virgin she has been asking me other questions
"Have I ever had a girlfriend?"
"Have I ever kissed anyone?"
Etc.
I answered these questions yes and not ashamedly
However do I wish that I had not? Absolutely.
Not that I think these things are sinful at all.
But think of this. I have not always had such resolve or courage.
I have had girlfriends
I have kissed multiple girls
And I have done things and seen things that I am not proud of
And because I HAVE had these experiences I am plagued with a taste of what they bring and I have chosen to ignore their enticements
Making my resolve SO much more difficult.
It's been over a year and a half since I've dated anybody and over a year since I've kissed anybody
I say this not to brag, or for attention but to draw a light to the fact that it's possible and profitable
Some days my resolve is more difficult to maintain than other days
But that is just all the more reason to continue pressing on.
The reason I have chosen this life for myself is because...
It's what God wants
It's what my wife would want
But it is soooooooo much bigger than that.
It is love
Waiting is painful
My heart often aches when I'm forced to think about my loneliness
I want someone to depend on
Someone to hold close
Someone to show how much I've loved them for a long time
I WILL NOT SETTLE FOR A SUBSTITUE
And that is what this world does
Satan spreads this lie that you don't have to wait to fill the whole in your heart,
That you can date people now and if you have sex you will be loved
And they will fulfill this gap and you will be ACCEPTED
THIS IS A LIE
Everybody I have ever known who truly takes a deep look into themselves sees that their "love" for their boyfriends/girlfriends was really just selfishness and satisfying a desire and a lust that they had in the moment.
BUT IT IS NOT LOVE
It ends in ruins and the people involved feel more alienated than they ever did because they gave their heart away and it was ended.
What they experienced was fake and temporary
What I wait for is real and permanent
What they felt grew weaker until it died
What I will have will grow stronger with time
They got their rewards immediately and they have already been spent
I have endured to seek a benefit later but I will be given in abundance
ANY SEXUAL GRATIFACTION THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN IN THE CONFINES OF MARRIAGE IS A SIN, AND IT IS SAD, BECAUSE IT BRINGS NOTHING BUT MORE HURT
Ever since my friend found out that I have not had sex she has looked at me and acted toward me as someone who hasn't seen the real world yet, as if I were a baby, as if I am missing out.
It's funny because I look at her the same way.
Don't tell me that my beliefs and commitments are cute.
They are more real than anything that worldly people experience
They have made me a man of honor, virtue, respect, and dignity
I will keep to my commitments though at sometimes they are challenged
Because I said I would
And because I LOVE my wife
future romie
Ms. South Carolina
Einstienet
Little Miss can't wait to get out and see the world
Mary sweet Mary
I have to say, this came at a really significant time for me. Thank you Thank you Thank you for posting this! We need more men to stand up and talk about these things. I am very proud of you! Would you mind if I pointed a couple friends here if it comes up in conversation? If not, I completely understand.