It's been a long time since a Pleonats entry.
I've had close friends tell me and it's true that when I struggle or find myself futherest away from God I always see how high of a wall I can build to keep others away ie: other Christians. I have learned in the past month forgiveness. Not necessarily towards others but from myself. I have learned that until you forgive your self for your actions that are weighing on you then you can't move forward and be happy and in return the ones closest to you have trouble being happy. God knew at the beginning of time that a little levin ruins the entire loaf as a little sin in your life if over looked can destroy your entire life if not corrected. I hope this helps someone struggling in their life as it has helped me.
I know all about walls. Glad to see you smiling lately!