Early Fall Update

at 10/05/07 11:13PM

The last four months have been some of the busiest months of my life, with frequent trips to Louisiana, Houston, Colorado, Livingston, Arkansas, and Missouri. All these trips were cherished opportunities to be with Amber. Between trips, I've been working 50-60 hour work weeks to save vacation time. In between work, sleep, and house-maintenance, we talk on the phone. Would you believe that two quiet people can talk over 6000 minutes per month? :-) In any other context, I'd be dead-tired from all this activity, but something special keeps me going...

My love for Amber continues to grow as I spend time with her, and I frequently discover new aspects of her fine character. She is full of what most would consider incongruent qualities, yet she blends them beautifully. She is cheerful yet sober-minded, spirited yet chaste, soft yet committed, contented yet seeking, peaceful yet vigilant. She is truly a 1 Peter 3 woman, with the "imperishable qualities" that are "precious in the sight of God." She is beautiful to me in every way, and I am continually amazed that she sees me worthy of her love.

I asked her to marry me on September 27, and since we see no reason to wait, we will marry on October 30, if God is willing.

I am so thankful to God. Praise be to Him who loves us so unconditionally!

31-50 of 50 comments « prev 1 2 3 next »

We are trying not to call. Even Sophia wants to know how your trip is going. We do love you! Enjoy this break from work, etc. Find some beautiful foliage up there.

by raifhaus at 10/31/07 2:57PM
Pictures of the wedding can be found here and here! First of many, many, many more pictures to come, I'm sure. :)

by jennileigh at 10/31/07 4:14PM
^It looks beautiful! We were thinking of you. (both of you!) :)

by probablyreading at 10/31/07 10:22PM
Congratulations from a cousin of Amy Raif!!!

by tweedledee at 11/01/07 8:03PM
Congratulations!!! Have a great Honeymoon!!!

by csusoftballgirl at 11/02/07 9:06AM
Congratulations!!

by laughing_eyes at 11/03/07 9:44AM
wow, congratulations to both of you!

by sassafras_tea at 11/03/07 7:56PM
hey roomie...hope you are having fun!

by aga at 11/03/07 10:42PM
congrats stephen!!!

by lbell at 11/06/07 12:31PM
Hello, nephew! I've now seen lots of pictures of your beautiful wedding and sweet bride. How happy we are for both of you. So, when are you bringing her to South Africa to meet us???!

by granny at 11/10/07 1:15AM
Hope you are having a wonderful time, dear ones.

by sweetiepiesmom at 11/12/07 9:25PM
What a wonderful tribute to your wife. Can't wait to see you soon!

by sweetiepiesmom at 11/18/07 11:50PM
Happy Birthday to Amber too. Slipped my mind! Love you both.

by raifhaus at 11/30/07 2:42PM
We were talking about you tonight...
whenever you come visit sound like there will be a group ready to do some climbing!

by raifhaus at 12/15/07 6:58PM
Happy New Year, son!

by marmee at 01/01/08 12:39PM
Wish we could come visit this weekend, too!

by raifhaus at 01/10/08 8:53AM
howdy, mr and mrs raif! how fun!

by leyvaleyva at 01/24/08 10:38PM
hope y'all are doing well!

by csusoftballgirl at 03/03/08 8:16AM

Late Summer update:

at 09/09/07 1:47PM

Life is excellent! I could write volumes, but I won't... perhaps later. If you care to see some pics of my recent travels, see her blog.

I realize I haven't been doing a good job keeping up with pleonast or e-mail... I now have 138 unread messages in my inbox. (Rrhrrhghghg!) Part of my problem is a broken laptop and lack of time for libraries, but the root cause is that my interests have been focused on one object of late. I'm trying to learn better balance, but I'm not feeling too guilty. :-)

Summer updates:

at 07/28/07 7:59PM

First update: I am now officially courting Amber Small! We had become good friends over the last year and recently learned of a strong mutual interest, which led to some family discussions and then happily to courtship. Amber and I desire that our friendship will be pure, honorable, and unselfish, and that God will be glorified by our behavior. We also desire that it will eventually lead to marriage. Please keep us in your prayers.

My friendship with Amber is a constant joy, and in classic Lukian understatement, there is "no small excitement" in me! She is an amazing Christian woman with a deep desire to please God in every way; I find myself greatly challenged in trying to lead the friendship in such a way that is "spiritually nourishing" for her. This time is not only a phase of growing knowledge of each other, but also a phase of energizing spiritual and personal growth for myself. How many powerful lessons I have learned in the past few weeks in trying to grow in leadership and servanthood!

Second update: Patrick and Brandon'a (my former "landlords") decided to give up work at Raytheon, sell the house I was occupying, attend Sunset Bible School, and move to South America to preach the Gospel. I became homeless, so in June I bought a house (or a "digs" according to sir Geoffrey). Geoff and AJ moved in, and we 3 are attempting to make it a place of hospitality for Christians and others. I was formally a "minimalist" before the house, but I can no longer honestly claim that glorious title. We've collected furniture donations from 6 different households and now have 5 couches, 2 recliners, 3 dinner tables, 4 study desks, and 19 chairs. I'm afraid that my sleeping-bag-on-floor days are over... I am now sleeping in a real bed with real sheets!

Third update: I learned this week that my parents are moving from Woodland Park, CO to Livingston, TX. I am very excited about this because it brings our family much closer together (except for the fact that my brother and sister are moving to Guatemala!) Sadly, there will be no skiing in hot, humid East Texas, but I gladly accept the fact that the drive to their house will be cut from 12 hours to only 4 hours!

God bless!

7-26 of 26 comments « prev 1 2 next »

What does courting look like in the 21st century?

by angela at 07/29/07 9:54PM
Sounds like good things all around! I hope that your parents can help out the church in Livingston. And you have my best wishes on your courtship. The importance of purity, honor, and charity is too often sidelined in the seriously disfunctional arrangement known as modern dating.

by tom_bombadil at 07/30/07 1:31AM
congrats

by basketballluver20 at 07/30/07 1:47PM
Amber is a very sweet girl (LAdy) :)

by basketballluver20 at 07/30/07 1:47PM
:) - we are so happy for you all; words are difficult to choose to express our gladness for you both. Uhhh, but one image in my mind occurs from above post, not only are grocery shopping more, I bet you have to do more laundry with all this sleeping with sheets! We love Amber.

by mr_and_mrs_berry at 07/30/07 2:20PM
I am so happy for you and Amber!

by lizzbeth at 07/31/07 9:06AM
I'm excited for you both!

by tima at 08/01/07 7:23AM
You forgot to mention the parlor:)

by 4tea_something at 08/03/07 10:41AM
GLad to have an update from you! How about some pics of the new dig?

by raifhaus at 08/03/07 12:56PM
a real bed and real sheets! I guess love truly will win out and make you human! Hello Amber. Its been a number of years since your family visited me in Chipley, Florida. May you one day be mine too -- sideways!

by granny at 08/17/07 1:23PM
wow stephen!!!! i am sooooo happy for you!!!! i miss you!!

by lbell at 08/20/07 8:24PM
i heard the news, and am very happy for you and amber! this is Shanna-Kaye from hscamp..hehe. the girl that talked alot :) hope everything goes wonderful!

by kristianbunny at 08/25/07 10:25AM
Alright, I accept your apology and hereby give you permission to neglect us for her sake. Indeed, am I not merciful? ;)

by probablyreading at 09/09/07 2:02PM
ps-- I do believe some of her photogenic-ness has rubbed off on you. Or maybe it's just the happiness radiating out of those pics...

by probablyreading at 09/09/07 2:04PM
I was talked into this by you know who :)

by miss_nisee at 09/15/07 6:45PM
welcome to our family of blogers and the smalls.

by justmarge at 09/15/07 7:19PM
Congratulations Stephen! We Berrys are very very happy for you both.

by mr_and_mrs_berry at 09/22/07 10:37PM
congratulations!

by stina at 10/01/07 11:39AM

Maybe try this again

at 04/14/07 1:45PM

So, I'm going to try this pleonast thing again. It takes time, but I think that the benefits are worth the time invested.

Two weeks ago, as a result of a brother's comments at a prayer breakfast, I had an epiphany. I learned that there are two types of the selfless mindset. (And that's "selfless" not "selfish".)

One "selfless" mindset is based almost on hedonism. This mindset reasons thus: "When we are worldly and self-focused, we seek personal goals and pleasures. Our seekings that fail lead to pain, while our seekings that succeed are blighted by the realization that no earthly success is permanent. Therefore we always lack fulfillment. Instead of self-focus, it is better to focus on the needs of God and others, and in not seeking personal pleasure and in seeking higher things we will find emotional fulfillment, happiness, and peace." Although this mindset thinks itself to be unselfish, it is all about SELF. The motivation for seeking God is not God Himself, but to receive the Fruit of godliness. I have sought selflessness for this very reason in the past, and while it may make me look good on the outside, it does not sanctify me on the inside.

The other selfless mindset is quite different. This mindset is focused completely on loving God and loving one's neighbor. It earnestly analyzes how to serve others and forgets self. The passionate desire to do God's will and to seek the well-being of others pushes out any selfish thought. With this mindset, selflessness is achieved not by a direct act of will, but by being filled with God's will so much that there is no more room for self.

The first selflessness involves self-analysis. (Which we all enjoy in a selfish sort of way.) The second is almost unaware of self. The first is Stoic. The second is Christian. The first selflessness is corrupted by selfishness and can thus never be pure. It desires to love for its own personal fulfillment, which is not true agape love. The second is the definition of true, pure, agape love.

Comments? Criticism? I appreciate both.

15-34 of 34 comments « prev 1 2 next »

This dichotomy can also be summed up, I think, by 1.Calling yourself 'Christian' and 2.BEING a Christian, i.e., trying to live the way Christ lived and having the spirit of Christ permeate our entire life and being. The difference between the two is wearing the name and being the name. Does this making sense? Who knows.

by csusoftballgirl at 04/17/07 10:01PM
You know I'm never kind--just honest:)

by 4tea_something at 04/19/07 6:57PM
the idea that you never had to bury a pet is foreign to me. there has hardly been a time in my life when my family did not have an animal. my general extended family has a love for cockers and we were all introduced to the facts of life and death through our loyal friends.

by stina at 04/20/07 2:45AM
yes.

by leyvaleyva at 04/20/07 7:59AM
thanks for the good comments on my blog! It was SO good seeing you on Sunday and sharing in an Indian food feast:)

by csusoftballgirl at 04/20/07 10:47AM
I hope to be and remain fair, in all senses of the term! So, I guess that means I should stick to dark frames. ;)

by probablyreading at 04/20/07 6:14PM
hey man- have you read "Desiring God" by John Piper?

by k_yo at 04/21/07 3:36PM
Thanks for being the tea impetus:)

by 4tea_something at 04/23/07 11:45AM
The second mindset does seem like where we ought to be. I feel convicted to have truer motives and be wholehearted. It's hard, though. Good stuff to ponder on.

by tima at 05/09/07 2:47PM
I forgot to tell you: I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by 4tea_something at 05/10/07 6:58PM
Thanks for the surprise Mother's Day Fruitcake!

by 4tea_something at 05/18/07 8:53AM
i hope your adventure back into pleonast is working this time. (or you'll never benefit from these comments!) i heard a rumor that you're making a rather large purchase. congratulations! i hope it's everything you want.

by stina at 05/19/07 10:48AM
hope all is well. love you!

by chooselove at 05/25/07 5:24PM
haha. i recognize those jeans in the pictures on amy's blog :D

by chooselove at 06/04/07 11:35PM
I hear you're quite the oolong fan. Somebody is so excited she's about to burst!!!

by csusoftballgirl at 06/06/07 4:23PM
hey! HEY!!! i don't know if you're out there, but... CONGRATULATIONS on today! can i look forward to a bible study in garland again???

by stina at 06/09/07 10:31AM
congratulations? what happened?

by chooselove at 06/09/07 11:55PM
Hey man... it is time for an update. Please tell all of us fans the latest and greatest from TX.

by hreynolds2 at 06/10/07 4:12PM
hehe. check our the second one from the top :)

You scored as Jane Bennet, As someone who would rather see the good in people, Jane is a true pacifist and caregiver. At times, her shy temperament and naive outlook of people can land her in a compliant position, but those who know her love her for her positive spirit and cheerful view of what surrounds her.

Jane Bennet
81%
Marianne Dashwood
78%
Emma Woodhouse
75%
Elizabeth Bennet
59%
Elinor Dashwood
59%
Charlotte Lucas
47%
Lady Catherine
16%
Which Jane Austen Character are You? (For Females) Long Quiz!!!
created with QuizFarm.com

by chooselove at 06/12/07 4:05PM
Hi nephew! I appreciated your thoughtful entry. And really great news about your new house! I love you

by granny at 07/26/07 2:56PM

Death

at 01/19/07 1:28AM

C.S. Lewis: "One can do only 3 things about death: to desire it, to fear it, or to ignore it. The third alternative, which is the one the modern world calls "healthy," is surely the most uneasy and precarious of all."

So which are you, and if you are the wrong one, how do you fix it?

40-59 of 59 comments « prev 1 2 3 next »

Greetings right back to you! I'm so proud you like your vegetables. :) Enjoy your vacation .... when does the skiing begin?

by marmee at 01/25/07 4:03PM
Obviously!

by probablyreading at 01/25/07 6:42PM
I would have given you grass if you had said you liked it...

by probablyreading at 01/25/07 6:42PM
Here's some other particularly good English grass, just for you this time!

by probablyreading at 01/25/07 6:43PM
he's a junior currently so one more year. He graduates and we move about a month later back to the states.

by krazyqwilt at 01/25/07 7:13PM
Haha! I can just see you and dad flying down the slopes, hitting a few moguls, flying some more... ;)

by probablyreading at 01/29/07 5:08AM
I'm glad you had fun! Have a safe trip back to Texas.

by probablyreading at 01/29/07 5:09AM
Yes, you mount it like a picture frame.

by mirrorjranch at 01/29/07 12:36PM
Imposter!

by raifid at 01/30/07 5:26AM
have you known long what i now know?

by stina at 02/04/07 8:28PM
Death need not be grim. There's joy in Christ and peace in an unselfish love

by sweetiepiesmom at 02/10/07 1:16AM
It was good hangin' out with you Geoff, and Aaron Sunday. Felt good to get to know you a little more.

by countrybear at 02/12/07 11:24AM
Stephen, I tried to email you but it got kicked back. I'm going to be in FW next Tuesday for a week. - Janice

by mirrorjranch at 02/16/07 5:26PM
hope moving is going well....i tried calling and got no answer on work or cell phone. i will try again later...

smile: me and Jesus love you

by chooselove at 02/26/07 6:08PM
moving? are all of the raifs leaving? without having been there recently, garland has become again far away. how much farther away are you moving?

by stina at 02/27/07 10:44PM
Hey, I think I heard some relative of yours was moving to Peru?

by brigster at 03/06/07 8:54PM
thinking of you.

by chooselove at 04/01/07 12:50AM

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Early Fall Update

Late Summer update:

Summer updates:

Maybe try this again

Death

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