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Gettin' swole, Pokemon-style

My Steel team is nearing the Elite Four in Pokemon Diamond, and I have decided to take this time to begin preparing for EV training. Others have already written many EV training guides; I have been working off of Smogon University's thorough Gen IV guide, which I highly recommend. This is not another EV training guide; rather, this is me documenting what EV training looks like in practice from the perspective of a first-time EV trainer. If you have no idea what I'm talking about so far, take a minute and read the Smogon guide.

EV training is a massive, time-consuming project. If you're into Pokemon just for funsies or for the cute creatures, or if you hate tedious, repetitive tasks, then EV training is not for you. My personality, for reasons unknown to me, actually enjoys certain kinds of tedious, repetitive work, so EV training has actually been pretty fun to me in and of itself (at least so far).

Since EV training is such a huge project, it requires advanced planning. If you haven't read David Allen's Getting Things Done, I recommend doing so before tackling EV training. Especially if you plan on EV training multiple teams, Getting Things Done will save you tons of time and heartache. I broke up EV training into several sub-projects, each with its own Next Actions list: Berry Collection, Berry Feeding, Power Item Collection, Vitamin Collection, Vitamin Feeding, Pokerus Acquisition, and Training. These technically fall under two heads: EV Nuking (getting rid of the trash EV's that a Pokemon picks up from leveling through the game) and EV Building (giving a Pokemon the proper EV's it needs to max out the appropriate stats). This entry will focus on the Berry Collection stage of EV Nuking.

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The EV reducing berries

Before I go any further, I must note that with future teams I would prefer to skip EV Nuking altogether. It would be much easier to EV train a Pokemon from birth, obviating the need for EV reducing berries. I'm unsure if I'll be able to do that with my Poison team, but it's at least worth a try.

EV Nuking consists entirely of collecting and feeding the EV reducing berries to your Pokemon. This part is much easier in Gen IV than it is in Gen V for several reasons: (1) the Gen IV games allow you to grow berries in-game, whereas Gen V only allows you to import berries from the Dream World (which appear randomly); (2) the berries in Gen IV grow much more quickly than their Gen V counterparts; and (3) EV reducing berries reduce EV's much more quickly in Gen IV than in Gen V.

The Gen IV games include at least one plant of each type growing in various locations throughout Sinnoh. Some of them grow in the Survival Area, which you can reach after defeating the Elite Four. The rest are available on Sinnoh's mainland. Technically, you can also get all of them from the DPPt Berry Master on Route 208, though he only distributes one random berry each day.

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The Berry Master and his daughter

I will need a ton of berries - 66 of each type - to nuke a whole team's EV's. Each EV reducing berry plant requires 32 hours to mature, meaning that I could be looking at 9-10 straight days' worth of growing time to acquire the necessary number of berries - for each type of berry. You can cultivate multiple types of berries at once, but the berry-collecting process can theoretically take you a few months if you're starting from scratch and don't have at least one of each type of EV reducing berry on hand.

The Next Actions list for berry collecting is straightforward but brutal:

1.) Find in-game EV reducing berries
2.) Replant berries
3.) Track berry growth
4.) Pick berries
5.) Repeat steps 2-4

For the first and second steps, I traveled Sinnoh to locate all of its berry patches. I picked all of the berries to increase my general berry stock and cultivated each patch to give me a practical means of accomplishing step three.

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The Berry Searcher app

For tracking berry growth, make sure to pick up the Berry Searcher app for your Poketch from the Berry Master's daughter on Route 208. As you can see in the photo above, the map can get pretty crowded if you're using all your available berry patches; this one is not using all the patches and is still crowded. I've found that growing berries in all of my berry patches at all times allows me to more easily locate the patches by consulting Berry Searcher.

Running the berry-collecting circuit, I quickly identified a few high-concentration "hot spots." Most of the cities and towns have at least one double-plant patch immediately outside of town, but some of them have more. Solaceon Town has a quad patch in town, a quad patch immediately north of town, and two double patches south of town. Celestic Town has a quad patch on either side of town; Pastoria City has a quad patch in town and another quad patch immediately west of town. I make sure that I have EV reducing berries planted in all of these patches because they're so easy to access and so close together.

As my stock of EV reducing berries has grown (usually doubling each generation), I have established a procedure for ensuring that I am cultivating the right berries at the most efficient rate. I harvest and replant EV reducing berries first, which usually leaves me with several extra berries in my bag. Then, I fly to the other patches, pick whatever berries I have planted there, and replace them with my extra EV reducing berries from before. Finally, I fly to whatever mature patches remain, then pick and replant whatever berries I have planted there.

This procedure seems like common sense, but it's actually pretty easy to mess up. If you collect and replant berries in whatever order you like, there's a good chance you'll end up with EV reducing berries in your bag and no place to plant them. If you collect your non-EV reducing berries first and leave the patches bare while you go collect the EV reducing berries, it's easy to lose track of your bare patches, since they don't appear on the Berry Searcher. Picking and replanting berries in the order described above will ensure that you are growing the maximum number of EV reducing berries at all times.

The procedure can be boiled down to three principles:

1.) Deal with EV reducing berries first.
2.) Deal with all other berries last.
3.) Always keep berries growing in all of your patches.

I have been working on this for about a week, and I've been blessed to have at least one of each EV reducing berry. My Pomeg and Qualot berries are coming along the quickest (I think I have eight plants of each type growing), while I only just today found my first Tamato berry. Depending on how much space I have, it may take me another couple or three weeks to finish growing all of the berries I need. Even then, I want to grow another generation of each berry to keep in reserve for EV nuking future teams, which might take me another week or two.

There it is: project one, berry collecting. While it may sound like overkill, the 396 berry threshold (66 of each of the six types) ensures a complete wipe of all EV's for six Pokemon, which is the only way to EV train a team with absolute certainty if you haven't been keeping track of the EV's they've gained during regular gameplay.

In Him,
Spellgage

Recently, I laid out the case for building a mono-Poison team and described what I thought such a team should look like in OU. The results were mixed; I never won a single match, but it was by far the most fun I've had consistently losing at anything. Time and again, though, my team was completely outclassed by more powerful Pokemon like Landorus and Dragonite; Poison simply lacks the balance and power that other mono-types can achieve. After considering my options, I decided to drop the team down to UU, where I hoped my Pokemon would more evenly match the competition. My three OU Pokemon - Tentacruel, Gengar, and Toxicroak - needed replacing.

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Roserade @ Black Sludge
Ability: Natural Cure
EV's: 252 SAtk / 136 SDef / 120 Def
Calm Nature
- Giga Drain
- Toxic Spikes
- Sludge Bomb
- Toxic

Tentacruel is the only Poison-type in the entire game that learns Rapid Spin, so I bade farewell to safe switching. I still wanted a Toxic Spikes user, and Roserade seemed like the best choice for the tier. At first, I ran Rest in the fourth moveslot, but I found that (1) this team doesn't switch safely enough to fully exploit Rest + Natural Cure, and (2) sometimes Roserade just doesn't have time to set up two layers of Toxic Spikes, so I replaced Rest with Toxic.

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Haunter @ Black Sludge
Ability: Levitate
EV's: 4 HP / 252 SAtk / 252 Spd
Timid Nature
- Substitute
- Disable
- Hidden Power [Fighting]
- Shadow Ball

Losing Gengar really wasn't that big of a deal thanks to his little brother, Haunter. Haunter still out-speeds many of the other Pokemon in his tier, and he maintains an Gengar's great momentum-stealing move pool.

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Drapion @ Black Sludge
Ability: Battle Armor
EV's: 252 Atk / 4 SDef / 252 Spd
Jolly Nature
- Swords Dance
- Crunch
- Earthquake
- Ice Fang

I remember struggling against Drapion in the DPPt Elite Four, so I was glad to pick him up to replace Toxicroak. He makes a mean late-game sweeper, though it's hard to save him for late-game since he's a natural switch against Psychic and Dark users.

I also determined that I needed to add some bulk to the team, so I switched out Weezing for Swalot.

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Swalot @ Black Sludge
Ability: Sticky Hold
EV's: 44 SDef / 252 HP / 212 Def
Bold Nature
- Encore
- Pain Split
- Yawn
- Sludge Wave

This Swalot can sponge attacks and wreck sweepers who require setup. 'Nuff said.

Thus, the final configuration of my UU Poison team was Roserade, Crobat, Swalot, Nidoking, Haunter, and Drapion. This team fared slightly better than its OU cousin, but it still wasn't quite on-par with all the legendaries that float around UU. Crobat, despite my earlier assessment, was pretty much useless, leaving the team with only two effective UU Pokemon: Nidoking and Roserade. I decided to downshift again, taking the team into RU.

Replacing Nidoking, Roserade, and Crobat was actually easier than I thought it would be:

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Nidoqueen (F) @ Life Orb
Ability: Sheer Force
EV's: 252 SAtk / 4 SDef / 252 Spd
Modest Nature
- Earth Power
- Flamethrower
- Sludge Wave
- Thunderbolt

Moving from Nidoking to Nidoqueen was a lot like moving from Gengar to Haunter: a little less power competing in a lower tier, but otherwise identical. Nidoqueen actually did a more consistent job of wrecking Pokemon in her tier than Nidoking did in his tier.

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Amoonguss @ Black Sludge
Ability: Regenerator
EV's: 252 SDef / 252 HP / 4 SAtk
Calm Nature
- Toxic
- Clear Smog
- Spore
- Giga Drain

Amoonguss is absurdly irritating when used correctly. The combination of his outlandish bulk with Regenerator and Giga Drain allow him to sponge practically anything, and Spore debilitates whatever counter your opponent switches in. Toxic is a back-up.

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Scolipede @ Focus Sash
Ability: Swarm
EV's: 252 Spd / 252 Atk / 4 HP
Jolly Nature
- Toxic Spikes
- Earthquake
- Megahorn
- Rock Slide

Scolipede's speed and flexibility make it an excellent lead. Focus Sash practically guarantees that Scolipede will accomplish whatever goal you set for him, whether it's laying down two layers of Toxic Spikes or KO'ing the opposing lead. I think I'd even consider replacing Roserade with Scolipede in my UU team.

The final configuration: Scolipede, Haunter, Amoonguss, Nidoqueen, Drapion, and Swalot - not at all what I originally had in mind for a successful mono-Poison team. But successful it was. Finally, my Poison team was doing what I designed it to do: messing with people's games and winning. This is the most fun I've had with a Pokemon team, with the possible exception of my Pressure team.

The following links are to replays from Pokemon Showdown. I hope they continue to work; if not, let me know.

Replay 1 - My first game, which went from a 3-1 advantage to a 1-0 loss thanks to a Rock Polish Relicanth. My first indication that this team would succeed: it ended better than 4-0.
Replay 2 - A 6-2 win that highlights the effectiveness of Toxic Spikes, Haunter, and Nidoqueen.
Replay 3 - A 1-0 win that highlights my poor prediction, along with Scolipede's flexibility and the walling prowess of Swalot and Amoonguss.

The point of this whole experiment is to determine the team that I'll run through White 2, so I will leave you with a slightly different final team: Scolipede, Swalot, Gengar, Nidoking, Drapion, and Amoonguss. Playing through Diamond with my mono-Steel team has been a blast, and I'm certain that playing this team through White 2 will be even better.

In Him,
Spellgage

This election was a pyrrhic victory for Obama. Although he definitively won the electoral vote, it looks as if he will narrowly win the popular vote (as of now, about 1 AM EST). In 2008, he won by landslides in both the electoral college (192 votes) and the popular election (10 million votes), making his current victory less than impressive.

Pundits will undoubtedly attribute the narrowing of the margins to vitriolic hatred from "white conservatives" - a mix of people who question the President's citizenship and who sternly oppose the Affordable Care Act and gay marriage. The narrative will portray the opposition's lower classes as a mob of racists clinging to their guns and religion, the upper classes as plutocratic, hypercapitalist investment bankers clinging to their money and influence. Obama's race, modernity, and progressivism threatened these opponents and stirred them to action, explaining the decrease in Obama's margins of victory between 2008 and 2012. So the story will go.

But I'm skeptical.

Consider George W. Bush's record. In 2000, Bush famously lost the popular vote - I say "famously" because Democrats howled about it for months, even years, after the election - and narrowly won the electoral college. In 2004, after earning the undying hatred of every Democrat in the United States, Bush won again, but definitively this time, by 35 electoral votes and 3 million popular votes. Allow me to underline the significance of this: Bush significantly increased his margin of victory after becoming a national pariah.

The conclusion, as I said, is that we can only view this as a pyrrhic victory for President Obama. President Bush entered his second term with "a mandate" and "political capital to spend" (his words); President Obama will enter bleeding, and he will likely continue to bleed. Several challenges practically guarantee this: a Republican-controlled House, a looming fiscal cliff, and the full implementation of the Affordable Care Act. For at least the first half of his new term, President Obama cannot pass legislation without John Boehner's approval; his legislative agenda (assuming he has one) has stalled. [As an aside, I consider this to be a good thing.] In January, taxes go up, and spending gets slashed across the board; the Obama "recovery," sluggish as it is, will also likely stall. [Another aside: Democrats decried the "jobless recovery" during Bush's first term, the end of which saw unemployment at 5.6%; unemployment at the end of Obama's first term rests at 7.8%.] Finally, the President's magnum opus, the Affordable Care Act, will fully implement in 2014. Even assuming it lives up to all of its promises, its implementation will be a bureaucratic nightmare, increasing Americans' frustration with their ineffective, invasive government. Again, another stall.

So much for the next four years. But what led to this pyrrhic victory? What explains the striking differences between 2008's landslide and 2012's reelection? That, my friends, is its own matter which deserves more than just some quick thoughts.

In Him,
Spellgage

While testing my Poison team, I painfully discovered its weakness to popular Dragon Pokemon. Dragon Dance Dragonite twice walked all over the team during endgame, and a Moxie Salamence lead singlehandedly once swept the entire team. Because of this, on a whim, I decided to toss together a Dragon team, which I made as cheesy and irritating as possible. Without further comment, here it is:

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Salamence @ Life Orb
Ability: Moxie
EV's: 252 Spd / 252 Atk / 4 SDef
Jolly Nature
- Dragon Claw
- Dragon Dance
- Earthquake
- Fire Fang

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Garchomp @ Choice Scarf
Ability: Rough Skin
EV's: 252 Atk / 252 Spd / 4 HP
Jolly Nature
- Dragon Claw
- Earthquake
- Outrage
- Stone Edge

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Dragonite @ Leftovers
Ability: Multiscale
EV's: 252 Spd / 252 Atk / 4 HP
Adamant Nature
- ExtremeSpeed
- Fire Punch
- Dragon Claw
- Dragon Dance

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Haxorus @ Choice Band
Ability: Mold Breaker
EV's: 220 Spd / 252 Atk / 36 HP
Adamant Nature
- Outrage
- Earthquake
- Brick Break
- Dual Chop

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Hydreigon @ Life Orb
Ability: Levitate
EV's: 4 HP / 252 SAtk / 252 Spd
Mild Nature
- Draco Meteor
- Fire Blast
- Roost
- Hidden Power [Fighting]

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Latios @ Choice Specs
Ability: Levitate
EV's: 252 Spd / 252 SAtk / 4 HP
Timid Nature
- Draco Meteor
- Surf
- Hidden Power [Fire]
- Psychic

Initial testing on Pokemon Showdown yielded three victories in ten minutes, the worst of which was 2-0.

The best part about this team is that it's definitely doable outside of simulation; Latios will be the only difficult Pokemon to get with the right nature.

Let me know what you think.

In Him,
Spellgage

My obsession with type-limited teams began with my Sandstream team (which you can see documented here, here, here, and here). That obsession only increased when Jared suggested running through the new Pokemon games using mono-typed, "gym leader style" teams. Since then, I have designed, bred, and leveled a Steel team through Pokemon Diamond. As I near Diamond's end, I find myself itching to develop a new mono-typed team for Pokemon White 2. Several types intrigue me - Dragon, Flying, Fighting, Normal, Bug - and I can build excellent teams around each of them, but one underused type has won my heart: Poison.

Gym Leader (and later Elite Four) Koga captivated me at a young age with his talk of subtle tactics and unorthodox victories, and even though he failed to live up to his talk, the romance of Poison has followed me into adulthood. Poison is the instrument of intrigue; it is the ambassador's sword; it is the weapon of princes. I am reminded of a passage from Dumas: "From the time when Christianity, that great civilizing influence, brought enlightenment to Rome, it was no longer a matter of a centurion who would come from the tyrant and announce: Caesar wishes you to die. Now it was a legate a later who arrived, with a smile on his lips, bringing the message from the Pope: His Holiness wishes you to dine with him."

To call Poison "under-appreciated" immensely understates Poison's status in the Pokemon world. Poison is the only type without a legendary Pokemon. The introduction of new Poison-types in each generation lags that of all other types; in fact, over half of the Poison Pokemon currently known come from Gen I. Finally, to add insult to injury, Poison is the only one of the original fifteen types unmentioned in the infamous Poke-song 2.B.A. Master (instead, the song mentions the "Flame" type, which doesn't even exist).

Poison faces more serious disadvantages. It is one of three offensive types (including Normal and Dragon) that will never be doubly super effective, because it is only super effective against Grass [aside: how does that even make sense?]. It is resisted by Ground, Rock, Ghost, and itself; Steel is immune. Its shallow pool of Pokemon are generally mediocre, which is what makes Teams Rocket, Galactic, and Plasma so hilariously "grunt-y."

Despite these disadvantages, Poison has a lot to offer: decent defense (weak against Psychic and Ground, resistant to Fighting, Grass, and itself); the ability to put defending Pokemon on a "death clock" (Toxic, Toxic Spikes); a good mix of powerful physical and special attacks; innovative attacks, including an Ability-suppressor (Gastro Acid), a neat conditional attack (Venoshock), and the best hazing move in the game (Clear Smog); solid bulk moves (Acid Armor and Coil); and a small pool of powerful and popular Pokemon.

Enough preface. I want to use these Pokemon in my all-Poison team:

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Tentacruel @ Black Sludge
Ability: Clear Body
EV's: 252 HP / 236 Def / 20 Spd
Bold Nature
- Rapid Spin
- Toxic Spikes
- Scald
- Protect

Tentacruel acts as an all-in-one support lead, spinner, and special wall. The set is pretty straightforward, setting up and tearing down entry hazards. Scald balances the team by burning anything immune to Toxic, including Flying, Steel, and Poison types and Levitate, Air Balloon, and Magnet Rise users.

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Gengar @ Leftovers
Ability: Levitate
EV's: 4 HP / 252 SAtk / 252 Spd
Timid Nature
- Substitute
- Disable
- Focus Blast
- Shadow Ball

This Gengar isn't exactly a sweeper, isn't exactly a wall, and isn't exactly a support Pokemon; it is rather a mix of all three. I call him a "momentum breaker" because he can mess up the plans of sweepers and walls alike, mainly thanks to Disable. Substitute and Gengar's high speed make him a persistent nuisance; Focus Blast and Shadow Ball make him dangerous. On top of all this, Gengar acts as the team's spin-blocker, a role that will usually force a switch and give Gengar a free Substitute.

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Crobat @ Life Orb
Ability: Inner Focus
EV's: 176 HP / 192 Atk / 136 Spd / 4 SDef
Jolly Nature
- Brave Bird
- Taunt
- U-turn
- Roost

The Nathanaels of Pokemon may ask, "Can anything good come out of Zubat?" Crobat responds with a Taunt and a Brave Bird. Like Gengar, Crobat fulfills mixed roles. Taunt, Disable's cousin, breaks many of the moves that sweepers, walls, and support Pokemon depend on. U-Turn allows Crobat to scout ahead of practically anything in the game. Roost augments Crobat's mediocre bulk. Brave Bird rounds out the set with a STAB physical attack.

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Weezing @ Payapa Berry
Ability: Levitate
EV's: 252 SDef / 252 HP / 4 Def
Calm Nature
- Haze
- Pain Split
- Toxic
- Will-O-Wisp

Weezing, while sporting mediocre stats, rounds out the team's support needs. Toxic puts opposing Pokemon on the fast-track to death. Will-O-Wisp, like Scald, offers the team a necessary alternative to Toxic, plus it nerfs physical sweepers. Pain Split makes Weezing a nuisance and practically guarantees a revenge kill against anything that kills him. The crown of the set is Haze, which wrecks the ambitions of set-up sweepers everywhere. I have opted to use Haze instead of Clear Smog for one reason: Steel. Scizor and Lucario can terrorize any team with minimal setup and are both immune to Clear Smog.

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Nidoking (M) @ Choice Specs
Ability: Sheer Force
EV's: 252 SAtk / 4 SDef / 252 Spd
Timid Nature
- Earth Power
- Ice Beam
- Sludge Wave
- Thunderbolt

Jared has sung the praises of Nidoking, and I must agree: he's a really cool Pokemon. His typing and stat combos are unique, and his move pool is forever deep. Sheer Force turns him into a wrecking ball, including two powerful STAB attacks. Sheer Force negates the recoil from Life Orb, but I'm tentatively trying the full-power route with Choice Specs.

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Toxicroak @ Black Sludge
Ability: Dry Skin
EV's: 252 Atk / 252 HP / 4 SDef
Adamant Nature
- Bulk Up
- Substitute
- Sucker Punch
- Drain Punch

I lack experience with Toxicroak, but this set looks like fun. Politoed has become so popular that my opponent often provides the benefit of rain healing thanks to Dry Skin; in any case, it makes him a good switch against Water. The idea here is to set up Substitute on something Toxicroak resists, Bulk Up, then Punch as necessary for killing/healing.

*****

This team has some obvious flaws: half of the Pokemon are UU, and most of them are slow, fragile, or both. Venusaur is the only other OU Poison option, but he relies on Sun to compete in the tier. I'm considering dropping the team to UU, though that precludes Tentacruel, Gengar, and Toxicroak. Replacements for UU and under include Roserade, Haunter, and Drapion, but leaving OU leaves me without a Rapid Spin user.

Leave me some comments.

In Him,
Spellgage