Pempressions

at 06/28/10 8:27PM *
In some places, a sketchy business can be spotted pretty quickly with two characterizations....no website and located in someone's house.

In Lancaster, FIND me a business that has a fancy website and isn't located "in the back," and I'll show you an extravagant wastrel with too much time and money than is good for man.


In some places, even in the countryside, you can take a road based on its cardinal direction and work your way across the gorgeous grid of golden grain with a hop and a skip

In Lancaster, the eastward encroachment of the Appalachians applies torque to the highways, twisting the grid into a diamond helix corkscrew. Believe it or not, I drove in a straight line for 12 minutes and rear ended my own truck.


In some places, two lanes means two columns of cars. ONLY. Shoulders are right out.

In Lancaster, two lanes means a fluctuating situation of up to four columns of vehicles, some of them being horse-drawn. Shoulders are first come first serve around any impediment, and its actually considered rude and bad tempered NOT to squeeze as close as possible to the center line if you want to turn left so as to allow at least a full column of traffic on the right.

In some places, in the case of construction relegating all traffic to one lane, the last 400 yards before the reduction is crampacked with every citizen from the surrounding area that can still see at least shadows.

In Lancaster, a full mile before the lane reduction, everyone is neatly and patiently in the reduced lane purposefully ignoring the wide open spaces adjacent to their delightful game of stop and go. IF any ignorant personage who must not have had a mother EVER takes advantage of this lane, multiple Individuals Of Justice will intervene by driving in the W.O.S (wide open spaces) at the appropriately slow rate to save the rest of us the trauma of being passed by free and wicked spirits.

  • snickers63
    Oh to live in Lancaster, the land of the ... well, I"m not creative enough to come up with an adequate description. One day... one day... I'll come see you.
    by snickers63 at 06/28/10 10:09PM
  • mayflower
    lol... soooooo different from Houston. Maybe I can convince Brian to move to Lancaster. :)
    by mayflower at 06/29/10 8:12AM
  • snickers63
    ^^that just might be the understatement of the year.....
    by snickers63 at 06/29/10 10:18AM
  • frappachino_girl
    i miss you!
    by frappachino_girl at 06/29/10 2:11PM
  • rebekah
    Ok, I have to admit, I HATE getting passed by people in the W.O.S. Never had a mother indeed!
    by rebekah at 06/29/10 2:11PM
  • snickers63
    So we really need you to draw up some plans. Are you in the flying mood? ANd how much, besides the airline ticket, would it cost us????
    by snickers63 at 06/29/10 11:08PM
  • snickers63
    I am serious. Have a computer, but not CAD. Don't know what is too involved to do by hand, so I can't answer that question. Maybe we should talk.....
    by snickers63 at 06/30/10 11:02PM
  • chooselove
    so are you staying in lancaster forever?
    by chooselove at 07/02/10 10:37AM
  • mr_and_mrs_berry
    I think you should try driving in the rural UK - Northern Ireland and Wales especially!
    by mr_and_mrs_berry at 07/14/10 3:14PM

So Saul went up on the throne, saw that the sucio had gathered together as the sand on the seashore...

at 05/30/10 1:31PM *
He was afraid....Then he waited seven days, according to the time set by Momma. But Momma did not come to Gilgathroom. So Saul upon his throne said unto himself, "bring unto me the toilet paper." And he wiped (or not) his own sucio. Now it happened, as soon as he had finished wiping his own sucio, that the Momma of God came; and Saul ran out to meet him, that he might greet him. And the Momma of God said, "What have you done? Who wiped the sucio?" Saul said, "When I wad on da botty, I did it." The Momma of God said to Saul, "you have done foolishly. You have not kept the commandment of the Amy your Momma. For now the Momma would have established you upon the throne forever, But now your kingdom shall not continue. It shall be given to your sister. And there was much lamentation....weeping....and rolling on the floor.

Let that be a lesson to you.

*Note: Momma of God is not, 'mother of God,' but rather like a 'child of God'
  • august28rose
    Hahaha!
    by august28rose at 05/30/10 3:13PM
  • beulah
    That is so funny!
    by beulah at 05/31/10 6:09AM
  • tweedledee
    lol
    by tweedledee at 06/01/10 3:13PM
  • diminished_seventh
    and now, the age-old question: was the sin in the wiping, or the not-waiting? or both?
    by diminished_seventh at 06/01/10 10:54PM
  • enyek
    hmmmmmm.
    by enyek at 06/02/10 7:34AM
  • mr_and_mrs_berry
    This sounds very much like a "Dorrraaa" story I recently heard....
    by mr_and_mrs_berry at 06/03/10 3:41PM
  • mayflower
    pretty funny...

    Good to see you on May 21!!!! And I will get to see you again in July!!!!
    by mayflower at 06/07/10 2:14PM

Favorite quotes of the day

at 05/18/10 7:03PM
"Momma, K's getting REALLY BIG boogers!"

"When I went to Aunt Amanda's house we saw a BUG!" (she meant buggy....horse buggy)

(A mother) "Come on Tommy, lets go!" (Tommy to his mother and me) "No! My girlfriend!"

(Tommy to me) "Will, will, will you hewp me wi my memy bersus?"



  • autumn_rain
    :) Little kids are the coolest people ever! Too bad we can't be that cool...
    by autumn_rain at 05/18/10 8:32PM
  • missy_my
    I like the 3rd one, see you tonight! :)
    by missy_my at 05/19/10 10:51AM
  • frappachino_girl
    ok...
    by frappachino_girl at 05/19/10 9:47PM
  • middlechild
    Haha! That's cute :)
    by middlechild at 05/20/10 7:39AM
  • mayflower
    I think your phonetic spelling it pretty great!
    by mayflower at 05/20/10 10:44AM

Do the right thing and everything will be sunshines and rainbows...

at 04/28/10 4:22PM *
except for most of the time when it won't. See... people (aka....*delete bitter diatribe*) SAY "you'll be glad you did" and "just you wait and see how great things turn out."

Faith: when you grit your teeth and just make the decision to do what you think is right, knowing that YOUR injuries from 'the right thing' will be the least of your troubles, what with the hurt friends, the torn apart families, the ensuing chaos (NOT an exaggeration, for all you hopeless optimists out there). Oh yes sunshine and rainbows.....and then of course comes the learning that your conscience was faulty, that you shouldn't have done it and what were you thinking, and the desperately trying to learn from it so your conscience can make a DIFFERENT erroneous conclusion next time, resulting in horrible collateral damage that begins to heap up in your soul and make you hope so deeply that you truly won't have to give an account for good intentioned bad decisions.

And then SOMETIMES, every so often, you gird your loins, prepare everyone for the incoming onslaught of lashing consequences you feel ridiculously obliged to herald by the dictates of your conscience....spread the word to duck and cover.... clinch your jaw......and..... nothing happens.

And then the rush of...did I actually get it right? was it just chance? is this some new form of temptation? what is GOING ON??? whatever....Thank God. Amazing that we actually deserve and mostly create all the stress and all the pain in our own lives, that even with a beautiful motive all wrapped in silk bows we still can't get it right, and that we somehow get into heaven anyway...

I don't bring up the various bible verses because they seem pretty equally divided between, 'your life will be horrible' and 'you will receive your earthly reward,' and my favorite 'you won't be able to tell what God's thinking from earthly events'
  • snickers63
    Title is faulty... therefore, the rest is either right, or faulty. Duck!
    by snickers63 at 04/28/10 9:48PM
  • mayflower
    Thank you for using your musckes for Good Deeds at Yellow Hill Farm the other day! The "stick field" is doing nicely... and still looking like we're growing sticks... but it'll be good soon!
    Thank you!
    by mayflower at 04/29/10 9:42PM
  • octaveleaper
    "A faithful person is one who does the right thing, because it is the right thing, regardless of the consequences." - Carl Pettes, adapted from a colleague's definition of a hero: "A hero is one who does what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences."
    by octaveleaper at 05/01/10 12:18AM

Comments, Questions, Endeavors in Discussion for the Understanding of the Understanding

at 04/08/10 10:24PM
A quote from a different culture:

'Love is like the roots of the tree. The fragrance of the flower, the shade of the leaves, the beauty of the color, enjoy all of these, but delve into the source of these gifts and the roots will be ruined. The tree will die. One experiences love; one cannot see its true nature or know about it.'

Starting with the basis that all good and all truth is from God, then where a different religion and culture speak something that is good or truth, I do not fear it because I see that it is from God, spoken by men who see only a part of the whole truth (just like myself). So, I beg of you all to 'delve into' this matter and help me to sort out the truth, the circumstantial truth and the falsehood.... And if the quote is truth, then we will be killing the roots....a conundrum really....
  • lilsis
    I really like the first part of the quote until the "but" part. God is the epitome of love, and we can know God. So we can "delve into the source" of love and see its true nature (as described in 1 Cor 13 and what God has done for us). But we will never fully comprehend it so in that way we "cannot... know about it." Is that at all what you're talking about... I'm not completely sure what your last sentence meant.
    by lilsis at 04/09/10 7:19AM
  • justcallmejoe
    Which culture? I'm too lazy to google.

    This is interesting to me because I've been studying exodus, and thinking about how God's answer to Moses' question ("what's your name?") sounds like it's intended to forestall the sort of speculative inquiry Moses has been trained in as a way of knowing God. In Exodus, God tends to reveal himself either through action or through the law (which translates into lived experience) rather than revelations which tend to lead to "theology" as such.

    OTOH the NT seems much more "theology-friendly," and to require much more theological inquiry.
    by justcallmejoe at 04/09/10 12:28PM