Will somebody please give me a job?!
I'm 26, married, a father of two with excellent hygiene, a bachelors degree (6 years of undergraduate total), my own car, an extensive wardrobe of button-down shirts, both black and brown dress shoes with matching belts, I have a valid driver's license, no criminal record, can drive stick, am good at opening plastic produce bags, I vote, can play a C scale on the trumpet and cornet, I have 20-20 vision (with corrective lenses), I can throw a frisbee left-handed, I'm an Eagle Scout, a subscriber in good standing to two magazines, I listen to talk radio, have never sniffed glue, I change my oil every 3,000 miles, I exercise yearly, pay my taxes, take my dogs to the park, can recite the preamble to the Constitution, I know the capital of Vermont, I don't smoke, I always courtesy flush, I'm punctual, apt, prompt, initiative-taking, a copious (mental) note-taker, highly responsive after 10 am, and can quote the entire "Killer Rabbit" scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
References available upon request.
References available upon request.
If I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks.
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Gallactica.
Assistant to the Sensei? That sounds pretty important.
I'm always thinking one step ahead. Like a carpenter who . . builds stairs
Look at what I'm doing and go tell somebody it!
Its me. I'm the bobblehead!
Ugh, I'm so sick of Chucky Cheese
I will go to New Zealand, and hike the Lord of the Rings trail to Mordor
Yay Kevin! For stinking up the bathroom!
Fool me once, strike one; but fool me twice. . . strike three.
I come from a line of WASPs so long it dates back to Moses.
What did I say about "yeppers"?
Your dentist's name is Crentist? That sounds a lot like "dentist".
I love inside jokes. I'd like to be a part of one someday
You can't get diseases from a bird!
I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby
One day Michael came in complaining about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then
The number one cause of death? Shotgun weddings.
I want Michael to have all the urine he needs
I don't want "Garbage", I want Sprinkles!
How long have you been married to the cheerleader?
You can't fire me, I don't work in this van!
Michael is like Mozart, and I'm like. . . Mozart's friend.
Somebody was telling me a story. . . about laundry, and betrayal. . .
Let's try to act every day like Pam's mom is coming
I am faster than 80% of all snakes.
*sigh* We're in the same boat though. Tim is having a really difficult time finding a job. What really bites is I've heard Ohio is the worst state right now for unemployment. Go figure. Did Ashley find a job? Good luck to ya on looking, I'm sure you'll find one soon.
oh, and yay! for Ashley being a fellow HP fan!!! *woot woot* .... tell her I said Star Trek really isn't all that bad. Coming from a girl who REFUSED to watch it for years. ;) Hope it helps. ;)