Again I have now waited over a year to post and entry. Since my last post which I believe was toward the end of my undergrad at in England I have since done a Masters in Scotland and now moved back home (Nashville) to the US after 4 years.
And now that the final craziness is over with the actual move. The confusion of settling back in of where I really want to be. I think this is also amplified by the fact I now have a real job and on top of this being my first real job it is a good job and the type you try to keep for a lifetime. I like it I have an office and the great thing about is we are a non-profit focused on helping fix health care with technology. Exactly what I want to be doing (well a little AI would be nice hopefully will get that a bit later).
But the scary thing is my plan to return back to Britain will for a couple of years (or doing another degree like I have planned my entire life) Gets kind of confusing now.
Well, guess counter culture shock was bound to happen at some point, then add your normal mid-20s Crisis.
Whatever happened to the word no? Why is it when you ask some "Do you want to go and do X?" that if the person wants to say no then they just say "I am not sure." Or even more annoying the "Sure sounds great" even though in the end they are going to say No. Can't people just go "No, I don't want to" or "No, thanks" instead of this load of crap I might hurt your feelings saying no.
This is a rant from trying to organize doing something. People saying yes at first then start making plans and then they either come up with some flimsy excuse or just don't show. OK, back to revision.
Yes, I realize it has been a while (umm, looks like Over a year). But anyways to the post.
I miss when computing was actually fun. Something about doing a degree just sucks out every last bit of fun out of it. I mean granted I have learned even cooler things since doing a CS degree, but don't have the time to mess with them. It is really annoying. I miss having time just reading for fun (and I am the type of person who loves learning especially that high when you sit there trying to get something to go into your head and it goes in and just sticks). I miss getting to explore stuff rather than just vomiting up the same ole crap. Something just doesn't seem right out this. I thought the whole point of academia was to explore? Back to vomiting.
Well, I am going to just rant for a bit. Theorize if you will. I ahve been living abroad now for about 1.5 years now. Maybe a bit more. The first year felt like an extended vacation and then the second year has been well trying to settle in a bit more. I mean I figure I will be here probably two more years after this. I have kind of learned a lot lately about friends and what really causes people to be friends (or better said me) I am the type of guy who wants two to three close friends to hang out with. Other friends are cool but they are the main ones you want to hange with. Well, at home for the most part I grew up starting in Jr.High with most of them. The one I didn't met at work just after I graduated HS. We started hanging out because of a common interest. But ultimately what makes someone a close friend is a history and memories. Now most of you are going wow this guy is retarded it took him ~23 year to figure this out? But understand when you live in a country where your background is quite different, you come into it with misconception on both parts and the general novelty of each other. There is a lot to get through
I mean first you have to find a common bond. This is easy here with other Americans to degree you have (H.S., Unis and the fact you are abroad to talk about and understand where each other come from. Something that is a specific interest to start the bridge building. Then you and they have to work and getting to know each other by letting your gaurd down (which depending on how to do you defense is hard. I talk a lot to prevent people themselves bringing their attention to me. I know sound funny but it kind of works [Also, makes you look like a fool]). Then you finally get to the point of just chilling and hanging out and building the memories that brings people closer to being real friends rather than acqainteses (sp?).
I have been dealing with this alot lately and just now things seem to be approaching building some roots here (which is scarry for when I have to leave). Been feeling pretty home sick missing just the spontainious (ok my spelling sucks I admit it) and just hanging with a standard crew. OK time for bed.
From glancing around Pleonast I have gathered that quite a few of you are Christians. Well, I could use some help. I am trying to compile a list of Internet resources for Christians. I am trying to aim for stuff that is fairly non-denominational and quite realiable. So if you could post it on here or if you want just e-mail it to me firstname.lastname@example.org. Once I get it finished I will most likely put it on the net.