Teacher's Bible Class Stories...

Here are a few of mine. Place yours below.

I am teach a lot of bible class. Sometimes they tell you stuff they shouldn't! This little girl was telling me about a fight her parents had. I quickly cut her off. That - was uncomfortable. That was the 3-4 year olds.

This quarter I am teaching the 3rd - 5th. They like to play jokes on me like putting the door stob behind the door so I can't get in. The third time it happened, the door was a little bit open. My hands were full, so, showing out a little, I put my 4" spiked shoe against the door and gave it a good kick. It flew open and popped a huge curved door handle shaped hole in the wall. I bought a cirlce to cover it and the children helped me put it on. We have laughed about it ever since and they share the story with every visitor we have. I will never live that down. On the flip side, I did bring in a maggot infested baby bird in a baggie for them to smell the like of Egypt when the frogs died.

Once I was teaching my own daughter's class at about age 5. I asked concerning God feeding the Israelites in the wildernss... "What was all over the ground?" She says "Pollan?!"

Then, at age 12ish, I was describing the quail and had drawn a postar of the little birds running between legs and hands trying to catch them. I was saying that God provided the birds but they had to catch them and pluck them and cook them for themselves. Reed said "What? They did?" I said "Yes, what did you think... It was raining rotissaries?" She said "YES!"

Oh wait... I have one on Tori Bruns... You have to read the whole thing to get the punchline. It won't be funny otherwise...
Bible class... 3-4 years ago... she would have been 10-11. Maybe younger...

I was trying to describe behaviors, selfishness, appreciation for parents, etc. I was up at the board talking loud and swinging my arms... I was drawing a spreadsheet describing a family vacation.

I said "Your family goes on a vacation. Your parents are trying so hard to make sure you have a good time and see some great things. They take you to the Grand Canyon. Ok... you fly out there. Let's say the plane tickets are $300 each and there is say a family of 4... that is $1200. Now, you have to stay somewhere, right? Let's say you go for a week and the hotel is ... oh... say 150$ a night... that is about $1000 right there. Now... you go out to see the canyon. You gotta ride one of those donkey... right - right... Ok the donkeys are say $20 each you need 4... that's another $80 bucks! And the FOOD... you have to eat... your parents will probably spend $500 dollars eatting out breakfast, lunch, and dinner! This stuff isn't cheap! SO noooow... you are standing in the canyon gift shop... you find this crummy peice of plastic bow and arrow set that comes complete with a headband and three feathers. It costs 20 bucks. You want it. Your parents say... no... that thing is not worth 20 buck and we have already spent a lot. Do you realize how expensive that gift shop stuff is? But you want it! So you start to cry... Your parents will spend... over 2000 dollars on the great vacation for you and your family and now... you are standing in the canyon gift shop... swqualling... over some 20$ piece of over priced plastic cause your parents won't buy it for you."

Tori said, (read this in a high little tone) One time we were at (I don't know where they were) and there was this tiny little turtle with a bobbly head and it was 2 dollars and 99 cents!"

I said "See Tori... see why your mom would not buy you some tiny little overpriced turtle even with a bobbly head?"

She said, "Oh no, we bought it."

The class roared with laughter!

Now you! Go...