-Laurel Ladd
-Coffee
-4:30AM
-the way the sky glowed in layers of purple, pink, and light blue
-desserted beach
-sunrise
-God's word
-conversations
-dozing on sand
-laughing
-crying a little too
-praying
-driving
-free Roast Chicken sandwiches
-driving some more
-music
-the rare moments of stillness in ocean water when time seems to stop
-walking on sand
-drifting in water
-warming in the white hot light of the sun
-driving some more
-home
-making Spagetti
-talking to Sam (gotta cherish every minute)
-re-arranging school schedule
-reading
-laughing again
-dozing
-showering
-rushing
-dressing
-dinner
-and meeting (people, that is)

I love Jenny Stinson...

I love Valrico...

I miss my Hagan...




The older I get, the more I appreciate days like this.


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Happy Birthday, tomorrow, Dad! I love you more than words could ever say!


Don't forget to check out the Perseids Meteor shower this morning anytime from 12am to 4am!


It's God's birthday present to you!


and thanks for instilling astronomy nerdiness in me early on in life!


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you should check it out too. It will surely make me miss you and the New Jersey sky...

This summer was not what I pictured.

Printed photographs and digital images on LCD screens are rarely what we actually witness through our natural, God-made lenses.

Even when I’m borrowing someone’s multitude-of-focuses-that-I-don’t-know-how-to-use-cameras, the photographs I end up taking are always slightly different from the images I see with my eyes.

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My dad waited at a Quick Chek in Flemington, NJ on July 4th, 2009 after a wonderful-but-especially-exhausting-week-for-him at our beloved New Jersey camp.

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Meanwhile, I was left stranded at the Philly airport not knowing if my flight would leave for Atlanta or be stranded until odd hours of the morning at Gate A18.

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The flight ended up being delayed until 12:15AM, which would have meant an arrival in Atlanta at 2:15AM on a Sunday morning.

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When this was confirmed, my patient father drove all the way back to Philadelphia to pick me up at around seven that evening.


It was such a blessing to sit by Dad and talk more about the week with him one-on-one. He said it was a blessing that I was keeping him awake on the drive home, (although he would have been home much sooner if it weren’t for the drive back into Philly from Flemington!)


The sun was setting in that way that it only does in the northern sky; with the streaks of black stratus clouds and deep orange red colors uninterrupted by Florida’s surplus of cumulonimbus puffs crowding the air.

Fireworks exploded atop the Philadelphia skyline, and chased the sides of the highway in colors and light.
Some explosions were close enough to hear and others were silent bursts of glow.

We couldn’t get a good picture with our cameras. But we made it a point to remember the image…

Death Cab for Cutie notes in their song “Lack of Color” that “…when I see you, I really see you upside down.”

The difference between reality and photographs are the same as the difference in what I expected this summer to be and what it actually was.

Though I pictured myself doing something completely different, maybe working, maybe travelling out of state, or maybe just going to the beach more, I instead ended up spending a whole lot of one on one time with amazing people right here in Tampa.

My friends of various ages and I cooked for each other, went to summer lectureships, attended free concerts for elderly communities, and simply enjoyed quiet conversation.

It was frustrating not finding work when WORK was the whole reason I wasn’t going to go home for the summer, or to Atlanta, or to somewhere else I hardly ever get to visit because of either school or WORK keeping me stationary in Tampa.

In spite of, or maybe even because of the frustration, God provided me with far better experiences that were far more needed at this point in my walk with Him.

Talking to younger friends reminded me of who I used to be, talking to older friends reminded me of who I want to be, and talking to friends my own age reminded me that I’m not alone in my experiences.

Ironically enough, my desire to travel away from here could have well been a metaphor of my desire to wander aimlessly in life and of my uncertainty of where I was going spiritually.

The thing is I’ve never needed to know where I’m going in this life!

I’ve only ever needed to follow Him wherever He leads me.

How easily I forget that…

So instead of some photographs with the images I was expecting to see, God gave me mental pictures that can never be destroyed by a delete button or
distorted by a lack of light.

God is my light, and the photographer of my soul.

I was blind, but he restored my weary eyes.

He literally turns my world upside down so that I can finally see again.

And what I see is permanent and eternal.

and, someday, it too will be tangible.

---------------------------------
Replace “the drugs” with “the sins” and this song pretty much says it all.


*please excuse the cheesy photo frame switches. i didn't make the video, just LOVE the song*



You can’t have it all, but there is all this…
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2 Chronicles 30:18b-20

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I have GOT to stop being so emo!

I think my favorite part of that last post was having Ashlee text me after reading it.

"Who is the boy in your pleo post..."

hahahaha.

---------------------------

I do, in fact, communicate directly with a person when I am upset. and calmly, for the most part! ;)


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One of my online classes this summer is "Women's Studies."

I should've known that it was just another class on Feminism.

You should know that I consider myself a Feminist, and I'm not afraid to say it.

Feminism is "supposed" to simply mean the belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.

and that is why I consider myself a feminist.

HOWEVER, popular left-winged feminist writers ruin the simple definition by demanding abortion (how is that providing equality to the unborn?) and homosexuality (if it is so natural, then why can't two same-sex partners naturally have kids?)

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My favorite question to ask those dear left-winged feminist friends is what if Barack Obama's mother had "chosen" to abort him?

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I have to constantly battle abortion and homosexuality when writing about feminism for my class and it's hard not to get angry when responding to other students' comments about all the evil that organized religion has caused. Sin causes the evil! Sin IS the evil!

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I sure do miss having Brian Messerli in class with me...he was great!

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A point I made in "Women and Communication" was that submission is not a bad word.

Christ submitted to the Father, but as it is recorded in John 17, Christ and the Father are one.

Oneness demands equality.

and yet, Christ submitted to the Father.

Therefore, submission does not mean that you are not equal or that you are less of a being than the person to whom you are submitting.

Submission is simply a matter of letting someone else make the final decision.

We allow our "noble" American government to do this for its citizens, so why is it so horrible if we allow a good man to do this in a family situation?

Submission is necessary for any kind of order.

It only becomes ugly when leadership is corrupt or inconsiderate of the people for whom it is making decisions.

Most of the complaints of injustice made by feminists are simply the result of sin. "Christianity" gets blamed because of the naivety of Eve, because of a misunderstanding of the scriptures, and because of the misapplication of such scriptures by the "religious" men that feminists attack so vehemently.

Left-winged Feminism is NOT for everybody, but Christ most definitely IS for everybody and I wish feminists understood that it is disobedience to Him that creates a need for Feminism in the first place.

*Note: this is mostly rhetorical. relax.


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I'm so mad at "this" guy because I have a huge crush on him, but he always has a girlfriend. Not just one, serious girlfriend, but just a "girlfriend" to fill the position.

He'll be with her for at least several months, and at some point we'll end up spending some significant amount of time together, when she's no where around of course, and he instantly remembers how amazing I am, but oh wait, he has a girlfriend so...oh well, we can be friends, right?

Then, inevitably, his relationship with "girlfriend" hits some rocks, and he remembers me yet again. Really slabs on the butter of how great he is, and only after he's done that does he break up with her and expect me to just fall over him like he's the greatest thing since Google, and oh, does he expect me to "google" all over him or what?

But I don't "google" all over him, not just yet, because I like to pretend that I'm at least somewhat smart and to wait to see HOW and for HOW LONG he can handle this whole "alone thing," (remember, I'm an expert), and of course, he quickly crumbles, in spite of my believing better of him, and either gets back together and marries old girlfriend (I mean, she's so much easier to deal with, even if she is *cough* boring), OR he finds a new, younger, unscathed girlfriend to date, break, and embitter.







*and yes, it's because I'm fat.







^the above is dedicated to all the women out there who've learned to "wise up" the hard way, to all the real men out there, and especially to those girls who have not yet learned about all the squirmy little cowards out there. Don't say I didn't warn you!

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also, I am now gainfully employed. :D

Praise God!

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"Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment." Proverbs 18:1


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Keep loving people.

















Even the squirmy little cowards.


I'm very much a squirmy little coward in my own, vindictive, female way.


and for that I am truly, truly....






sorry.

I once heard that if you go one step down from crazy you’ll find passionate.

Here’s to sanity and passion, dipped in coffee.