What does it meant to be Chaste? Butterfly or Caterpillar Part II

I appreciate all you ladies who are working so hard in today's world to be modest and to teach other women to be modest (butterflies). Thanks too for all your comments below on the subject!!
I just finished a book about being a "Help Meet" and I'd like to share something in it that I read & thought it was interesting & important enough to pass on here. Consider this to be Part Two of the Butterfly/Caterpillar weblog below.
Titus 2:3-5 tells us that women are to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed". I thought about two of those words "CHASTE" & "DISCREET" ....wouldn't those words be included in the "modest" realm? And why is the word "BLASPHEME" used here? What is the connection? I liked what this book said "Modesty is & should be the principal rule of female dress. When you come out of your house, go to church, to the store, or anywhere in public....dress as you would dress for the judgment Seat of Christ". If young women would think like that...putting the Lord first & foremost before embracing today's styles & standards...they would never walk down their wedding day aisles without being appropriately attired. They would be chaste & discreet before all...especially before the Lord.

We ARE our brother's keeper & therefore we need to be mindful of what we wear in their presense. This book I read brought out a biblical example...Bathsheba. Her indiscretion caused the downfall of so many...just by her simply doing what she thought she had the right to do. Some might argue that Bathsheba didn't do anything wrong, that it really wasn't her fault...but think about this: She provided the opportunity for a man after God's own heart (David) to lust. David should have been able to go outside at anytime (day or night) and not have this temptation placed before him. Our brethren should be able to go to Christian weddings & worship services and not have temptations placed before them either.
  • ootda
    At one congregation the boys and the girls were divided and each talked to about the significance of modest dress. One of the women leading the class was not raised in the church, and she explained the reaction of guys to low-cut dresses, short skirts etc. Even t-shirts w/ wording across girls developing chests...can stir or start things. I feel for the men serving over them dressed like that at worship. It is a temptation that could be better controlled by modest dress. Wouldn't a girl want to help a friend stay pure???? It can be said the other way around as well. We must be concerned about our dress in all areas of our life. Thanks again for these posts.
    by ootda at 06/06/09 7:52AM
  • anutty
    My thoughts will be with you all tomorrow at Smokey Hill! Jim will do a great work for the Lord, and he has a great help meet!
    by anutty at 06/06/09 5:51PM
  • mamap
    Wonderful thoughts, Carri!!!!!!!!!!!!
    by mamap at 06/09/09 10:31AM
  • mommapowula
    I appreciate your thoughts on this subject. it is so important.
    by mommapowula at 06/13/09 1:53PM

Butterfly or Caterpillar?

This has been bugging me for awhile and I am curious as to what other Christians think about this.
Wedding season is once again upon us. Many times I have gone to the wedding of two young Christians that were born & raised in two Christian homes. There are the usual "wedding" decorations, vows, flowers, cake, songs, etc....but unfortunately (in many cases) there is also present the usual strapless, backless, or cleavage baring bride or bridesmaid dresses....and in some case even the mothers (of the bride or groom) have worn "eyebrow" raising outfits as well.
What is with this my fellow sisters/brothers? I am quite perplexed and am wondering if any of you can explain this to me.

The bible says that we are NOT to be conformed to the world but to be transformed. In other words...are we a caterpillar or an actual butterfly? The butterfly has been completely transformed. Think about it...how hideious would a caterpillar be if it was only partially transformed? It certainly wouldn't be beautiful! Isn't that a little like what "lukewarm" is? And that is considered spewable! Why do Christian women buy these types of styles for such a special day as their wedding? Why do they come publicly before the Lord to be blessed in a covenant of marriage without more clothing on? I'm sure they would never come dressed so scantily for a worship service so why do they think the Lord should be revered any different or any less at their wedding?

I have seen too many wedding pictures of young women unashamedly baring their shoulders, backs, and chests in pictures. Why? At one wedding, my husband refused to hug the bride b/c he didn't know where to put his arms or hands since he'd only be touching her skin somewhere and he knew that that was wrong. At another wedding, the mother of the groom's dress was way too low in the front. I'm not even 5'2" and I could see plenty. What do you think the men could see who were taller? It is shameful!

Jesus told a parable to his disciples about a wedding feast. The invited guests wouldn't come so the father told his servants to fetch others from the Highways & Byways to his son's wedding. Afterwards everyone was attired properly (with the customary wedding raiment provided by the host)...everyone...except one man. The father asked him why he wasn't dressed like the others. The man had no excuse...and therefore he was cast out. In other words...this guest would only go some of the way but not all of the way. His attitude was that he was not willing to be completely transformed.

Women need to stop thinking that this isn't a big deal...b/c it is!! We as Christians are to be light & salt and that means to not let the world's standards become our own. We are told in I Timothy 2 to adorn ourselves in modest apparel with propriety and in a proper fashion that professes godliness. Less dress can NOT be more godly than being more covered can it? We are also told to not put stumbling blocks in front of our fellow brethren (which immodestly certainly does), to live peaceably with all men (includes our brethren), and to be peacemakers. It would make sense to me that "less" dress would not generate peace but strife & confusion instead.


  • sunnylee
    I COMPLETELY AGREE!!!!!!!!! It is hard to find dresses that are modest...but I believe that a girl who is truly trying to do what is right will take the little extra time and/or money to make the dress beautiful in God's eyes. I mean hey..Brides..you spend TONS and TONS of money on food, music, flowers and the place..but NO ONE WILL REMEMBER THAT LIKE THEY DO YOU and YOUR DRESS!!!!! Wouldn't you hate for your brethern and loved ones to always remember..."yeah, her dress was inmodest"????
    by sunnylee at 05/28/09 8:54AM
  • quincysmom
    Preach it sista! I have gotten to where I ask what the bride and bridesmaids are going to wear BEFORE I make a decision of whether I will go or not. I have been shocked but also pleasantly surprised. When they ask why I won't be there, I tell them. I think that it takes time and efford to be modest, but it is worth my soul's salvation to persist!
    by quincysmom at 05/28/09 1:57PM
  • anutty
    I so agree, and maybe someone will be reading this and realize modesty applies to all parts of our lives, even weddings! I never understood why people thought that wearing strapless dresses, low cut, etc... was ok then, but not during services? Thanks for your post!
    by anutty at 05/28/09 8:00PM
  • kiss_the_rain
    I agree and feel so strongly about this..I almost can't even EXPRESS it. Why would you wear something for your wedding that you (hopefully) wouldn't wear any other time? I've never understood this.
    by kiss_the_rain at 05/29/09 7:15PM
  • coultersmom
    Such great wisdom from such a small (5'2") woman!!! I totally agree. AND recently I was in the home of someone who had an 8 x 10 framed pic of her child's wedding sitting on an end table in the living room. So, not only did the people who attended see the immodest dress, but it is preserved forever in the pictures. And someday, that young bride may grow up and realize that she should not have dressed like that. How sad that she will have all of the pictures from it to remind her.
    by coultersmom at 06/01/09 10:37AM
  • coultersmom
    And for the record, Kelley did buy a strapless gown for her wedding this week, but had very wide straps added to it. And she is wearing a wrap of some sort too. I hope to have modest pictures to display!
    by coultersmom at 06/01/09 10:39AM
  • kittyhawk
    We had a bolero jacket made for Laura's wedding dress so it just goes to show where there is a desire to be modest there is defintely a way in which to go about it! I know what you mean about the wedding pics for all to see. Last yr I went to the home of Christians & they showed me the wall sized pictures of their 2 daughters in their strapless gowns. What did they expect me to say to that? I can't say they look beautiful when all I am thinking is "I can't believe you let them wear that...or that they aren't modest". I realize that for the groom's parents these things are out of their hands but the bride's parents have no excuse.
    by kittyhawk at 06/01/09 11:39AM
  • momster
    Hopefully, it is not totally out of the groom's parents hands....we have had this ^^ discussion with C & C about this very thing and from what we "hear" they have made good choices...I guess this week will tell...:)
    by momster at 06/01/09 12:18PM
  • coultersmom
    One more word about it though...yesterday we attended church out of town. I was somewhat appalled at the dress of some of the younger women there!! One, a young mother (!), had a spaghetti-strap dress on with a quite low cut top. She did have a shirt on underneath, but it was a skimpy tank top. She was quite immodest. So, it isn't just happening at weddings, but right in the services as well.
    by coultersmom at 06/01/09 1:24PM
  • mamap
    Thank you SOOO much for having the courage to speak out on this, Carrie! It is a HUGE concern of mine as well. I wonder if the brides would wear these dresses if Jesus was going to be in attendance. What they forget is that HE IS. I also really resent brides asking their bridesmaids to wear immodest dresses...and then I am dissappointed in the bridesmaids who DO! I have great respect for those who go against the norm to make their dresses modest!

    I have heard men say that it is a problem to even serve the Lord's Supper these days because they HAVE to look down to reach for the trays. It is such a shame that this should even be a problem...

    I recommend a very plain-spoken and BOLD sermon by Gary Henry on this issue. It is on the Broadmoorchurch.com website... Look under audio sermons. This one was preached on 5/3/2009.

    I, too, have thought that a groom has little to say about this issue but have thought further about it.. If this subject is important to him, I would hope that he and his "intended" would have discussed it thoroughly before the wedding. If he is assuming his leadership position and she is assuming her role of submission, I think she would very willingly wear a dress that her husband would approve of... I think the men need to speak up!
    by mamap at 06/02/09 4:22PM
  • ootda
    I worship w/ your dear MIL. Cyndi told me to read your blog on this topic. Keep preaching!!! I too, am confused as to why???? is it okay to choose to be immodest???? Thank you for posting your thoughts. Keep it up!!
    by ootda at 06/04/09 8:29AM
  • intothewoods
    Nice post mom!! too true
    by intothewoods at 06/10/09 11:29AM

Blessings from a Fall

Since I found Facebook I don't check or write on Pleonast like I have in the past....guess I'm not a techno "Multi-tasker". But once in awhile something will happen or I'll find or think of something worth sharing. Well...something happened...
This past Saturday my hubby & I and our 2 "home from college" kids went to a College graduation BBQ. Several Christian friends came to this celebration...some were in the house, some in the yard, and then there were those of us (approx 9-11 people) on a deck visitng, talking, and watching our hostess grill our supper. I was standing by the far right railing & my son Jeff was standing a little north of me. Suddenly the deck gave way beneath us....and we fell. This would have qualified for a classic "blooper" video had someone been recording it. The rest of the deck sort of buckled & slid towards the fall point forcing everyone else on it to be its slide slave (including the BBQ Grill being hung unto by the hostess). Thankfully there were no serious injuries!! Jeff's foot was pinned only momentarily, no one was burned from the grill (thanks to the hostess), and I didn't get impaled by a broken wooden railing that was "this close" to my stomach. We were all able to stand up on our own two feet. I went & sat down in a yard chair & began to feel some burning (like you do when raw skin has been scraped on pavement). I saw that I had 2 holes in my pants the size of quarters and one of the holes was bleeding (on my upper right thigh). Hubby & I visited the bathroom, saw that I had been "nailed", so we went to an urgent care center & they closed me up with medical "super glue" and I got a tetnus shot.

This situation could have been much worse.....
Thankfully the elderly (70ish) people weren't on the deck. There was no one under the deck (or really anything for that matter...especially nothing sharp or dangerous). No children were present so therefore no worries of anyone playing on the deck or underneath & no one holding babies. No one was standing to the left of the grill who would have had no choice but to fall onto it. There were no broken bones. There might be some bruising, some stiffness or soreness for awhile but I am so thankful that that is all there is to it.
So here is my point: Sometimes we sort of take each other for granted....thinking we will see them again soon enough on Sunday, next week, next month, next year, etc. We forget that each of us is living our lives somewhere & that we actually face dangers every day. Accidents happen on a daily basis....we read about them but maybe think that that situation could never happen to me...that the "random or wierd" stuff only happens to other people. Well, it happens to Christians too....and I just want to go on the record to say that I was so thankful that all of us were OK. I realized how much each one of them meant to me even tho I don't always socialize with them regularly or we don't talk alot at worship services. They all mattered greatly to me anyway. I realized how much I would have been saddened had this "incident" been worse. I think these things serve as "wake up" calls for us to pay more attention to not only our own fragile lives/situations but to those we care about whether near or far away from us...neighbors, friends, family, and our spiritual brethren.

BTW: Just recently someone I care very much about (and who is a Christian) had a situation happen to them that literally made my jaw drop. It was one of those things that you would think was meant only for movie scripts. But it was true....horribly true. What this person went thru was the fault of a corrupt policeman (someone who should have been looking out to protect the public & not to abuse his authority). Its just another reason for me to not take the people I love & interact with for granted. I do not know what may happen to them down the road.
  • iamjane
    actually... yes... I'll be there in about 2 weeks... June 3-7! :)
    by iamjane at 05/19/09 7:43PM
  • anutty
    How scary, but so thankful all is ok. Sometime it takes a little jolt to realize the things we take for granted! Thanks for all the help with Beth and Mom!
    by anutty at 05/19/09 10:44PM
  • momster
    Very glad/thankful no one was hurt any worse. Hope where you were "nailed" heals quickly. You are right though, we don't think of things like this all that often, but as you said they DO happen.
    by momster at 05/20/09 6:12AM
  • quincysmom
    I am thankful that no one was seriously injured! We never know. Things happen very quickly sometimes and it really shakes us up. Hopefully we can learn from these things to be better prepared for heaven because we don't know when the end will be for us.
    by quincysmom at 05/20/09 6:49AM
  • mec
    Oh my how scary. Thank goodness no one was hurt seriously or BURNED.
    by mec at 05/24/09 10:05PM

Teamwork

Over the snowy weekend my husband & I watched a Baseball movie about Roger Maris who in 1961 hit 61 home runs breaking Babe Ruth's record of 60. I'm not recommending the movie here but there were two parts in the movie that captured my heart. After Roger hits it out of the park, runs the bases, and goes back to the dugout; his entire team shook his hand and/or hugged him. They were happy for his achievement and weren't afraid, too envious, or proud to let him know. I said to Jim "I wonder what that must feel like to know you've done something pretty remarkable...that feeling of euphoria". Yeah, it was pretty cool that he had hit 61 homeruns in a single season but the thing that touched me more was how no one on that team held back from showing their excitement & congratulations.
There was one teammate in particular (Mickey Mantle) who stood out above the rest in this regard. He was a famous & excellent baseball player on Roger's team. His homeruns were neck & neck with Roger almost the entire season and he also was close to breaking Babe Ruth's record. Without any hesitation Mickey also put out his hand to congratulate Roger....no envy at all. I was struck by that. If there was any resentment at all Mickey knew this was not the time or place to diminish what had just occured.
They really showed their "teamwork" in that they ALL rejoiced. I thought about that in regards to spiritual teamwork. Do we show our appreciation and/or gratitude when we see or know of a job well done... without resentment or jealousy? Do we extend an outstretched hand of welcome to our visitors or to lift someone up who is struggling?

Later in the locker room (here's the 2nd part I like) Roger Maris is asked by a reporter "Do you think now you'll get more respect from the fans after what you've achieved today?". Roger answered "Respect isn't earned from playing baseball. Its what you do and are off the field that counts". How true!! Over the years I've heard wonderful sermons & been in good bible classes...but I couldn't possibly remember half of what was said. But I'll never forget the examples that have been laid before me of those who I never heard from the pulpit. One elderly lady in particular. She was in the hospital on a Sat eve with pneumonia. Sunday morning I witnessed her coming in the church doors in her wheelchair for worship. I was astounded & said "I can't believe you are here!" She said: "I can't think of any other place I'd rather be. I just couldn't stay away". She died about 6 months later. I told her daughter "I heard more lessons in those few short words and by her example than I ever heard in any long sermon". She was a team player till the end and garnered my deep respect.
  • blesu
    Good Post!
    by blesu at 04/20/09 9:54PM
  • momster
    :)
    by momster at 04/21/09 7:30AM
  • sunnylee
    Oh Momma..you just made my day!
    by sunnylee at 04/21/09 7:50AM
  • mamap
    Great thoughts...I'm afraid the green-eyed monster is often alive and well in the Lord's church...My hope is that we will all remember that we are on the SAME TEAM striving for the SAME GOAL...Thanks for sharing these thoughts....

    A thought on respect...Too many DEMAND respect when it is much more effective, by our consistent, respectable behavior to COMMAND respect. Does that make sense? It's a distinction that I think is noteworthy...FWIW...

    Love you!
    by mamap at 04/24/09 12:57AM
  • mec
    Great post! It's a wonderful feeling knowing we are all part of a team God's with a goal in mind to eternal life. We live on a little over 3 acres
    by mec at 04/26/09 10:44PM
  • sunnylee
    you would?? I would have NEVER guessed! ;-)
    by sunnylee at 05/08/09 3:15PM

Its Snowing in Colorado

Yesterday we had our biggest snowstorm this 2009 year (and our only snow fall this month). March is usually Colorado's snowiest month of the year but you wouldn't know that or even think that if you were a newbie to the State. This has been a very dry year for snow. The snow is still falling gently today (not blowing like yesterday) which has a beauty all its own. I know there are some who wouldn't want to live here because of the snow but I'll tell you this....I love it!!!
Snow days were always awesome at our house & still are. The kids would pull out a Monoply game and play for hours. We'd have a movie watching marathon...classics, Doris Day, Star Wars, Disney, etc. I'd make "snow cream" ice cream from the snow the kids would bring inside, we'd make hot chocolate (I didn't drink coffee in those days) or make cookies...eating more of the cookie dough than the cookies themselves. The kids would sled, make a snowman, or just bundle up and look adorable. As the kids have gotten older some have taken their snow sports to another level with snowboarding. Hubby Jim as even gone "snow shoeing" which is quite a bit of exercise.
Now that I'm here by myself I still enjoy that sort of thing. Snow days give you a chance to slow down & relax & enjoy the simple things in life. Cuddling & sharing coffee with one's spouse fireside. Taking out that knitting or cross stitch project that has been silently waiting its turn for attention. Scrapbooking or looking at photos of loved ones. Reading a good book, studying one's bible. These are wonderful gifts that snow days bring to my home.
I do love living in Colorado!
  • beckybaby
    I liked it because we got a snow day!
    by beckybaby at 03/27/09 10:35AM
  • momster
    We "usually" don't get a lot of snow in general here in our area...for the past 4 years we go to Florida for the winter and AR has had some of the mildest winters on record...this year we DON'T go to Florida and wouldn't you know, it has been one of the WORST winters on record...ice storms, snow, etc, etc....awful!! I MISS FLORIDA!!
    by momster at 03/27/09 10:40AM
  • jenn
    Snow days are great! :) Ben got to come home halfway through the day and today school is canceled for Adam and me.
    by jenn at 03/27/09 11:08AM
  • kittyhawk
    I forgot to mention all those "forts & tunnels" the kids would make in the basement too! All the furniture would get covered with blankets, sheets, and towels and they'd create some awesome mazes down there. Fun Memories!s
    by kittyhawk at 03/27/09 12:26PM
  • sunnylee
    I don't always like being cold..but I sure would love a SNOW DAY!!!
    by sunnylee at 03/27/09 3:31PM
  • lizzyb
    Some of us had to work even though we were home during the blizzard. Do I sound bitter? LOL
    by lizzyb at 03/27/09 7:58PM
  • mec
    I wish I was a kid growing up in your house sounds like fun. Thx for prayers Gary is doing much better. The doc double his blood pressure med and he still has another blood test to do.
    by mec at 03/28/09 12:24AM
  • quincysmom
    Oh for the good ole days when kids used their imagination and played with simple things.
    by quincysmom at 03/30/09 12:50PM
  • blesu
    No....There is a HUGE difference....Her name is Katie. Can't you see the BIG difference? ha.
    by blesu at 04/01/09 2:22PM
  • sunnylee
    I don't know...soon I hope! I just had a bunch of copies made to send 4x6's to the family...and NICE framed pics will be Xmas gifts later
    by sunnylee at 04/02/09 10:09AM
  • mamap
    Have you read "The Shack"? I love, in the first chapter, where it talks about how people respond to snow days...things I had never thought about but are so true...how a "snow day" automatically gives us ALL a valid excuse to "stop" and "enjoy"..take some time off...veg a little...loved it...

    Haven't finished the book yet...but that part was neat...

    SO glad you're getting to enjoy Colorado. I've always said if I didn't live in Alabama and had a choice, I'd be in Colorado. I LOVE IT!
    by mamap at 04/02/09 11:22AM
  • lizzyb
    It's a good hint! My house has been in such shambles since I started this project, I need to celebrate by having somoene over!
    by lizzyb at 04/11/09 12:37AM
  • momster
    I have really never liked the snow myself...except maybe those snow days on occasion. My sister lived in Colorado for a lot of years...she is now in Ohio...hates Ohio and would give just about anything to go back to Colorado. I did go cross country skiing with her once (tons of work/exercise) and just loved it....but...I'll take the warm sunshine any time...:)
    by momster at 04/12/09 4:36AM
  • mec
    Thx doing better today. Still in pain but not as much. Eating small meals now. Schedule for colonscopy May 5.
    by mec at 04/16/09 8:16PM