Yeah, here's some interesting questions and quotes I've heard this week (most of them directed to me.)
"Why don't you kiss my boyfriend?"
"Can we take that zebra head off the wall?"
"Have you been circumsized?"
"Are men attracted to fat women?"
"Would this look better without the fishnet armwarmers?"
"Dude, there's a dead taco under there."
"I saw your daughter. You are so blessed!" (?)
"Do you believe in education?"
More to come, I'm sure. Ttyl.
ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Curse Epistles definitions! Curse being sick all week! Curse the stupid rules at this school! WAHHHHHHHHH! I need to go to starbucks! :-(
Yeah, feelin a lot better now. For those of you who don't know, Josh Brainard was awakened at 2 in the morning on Saturday morning to baptize me. Even the Calverts got involved. Yeah, I was baptized when I was 12, but after thinking about it for a really long time, I decided that I didn't do it for the right reasons, and that I wasn't ready to make any kind of commitment to God when it was done. So I got baptized again, and man, do I feel great! I've been writing some really cool poetry stuff, but as usual, I don't have it on my, and the genuises in the computer lab can't grasp the concept of coming to my room and fixing my computer. Goin to a Bible study tonight, and then I'm totally crashing. I'm going on my 25th straight hour without sleep. As you can imagine, I'm in a pretty weird mood. Whelp, gotta go be bored some more. Peace out.
Well, here's my first blog under my new name. As for information about myself, I am stressed out to the point that I might be visiting my "summer home" a few months early this year. I may get kicked out of Bible, in which case my entire life is screwed forever. I am so messed up these days. I'm always disoriented, I can't sleep at night, and when I do get to sleep I can't wake up. I have two alarm clocks go off and a wake-up call every morning, yet somehow I turn off both the clocks in my sleep, even though I have to walk across the room, and I don't hear the phone. Today I had a test in OTP and I woke up to find my alarm turned off and the class over. I do not remember turning off my alarm clock. That's my 3rd cut in that class, so if I can't cry hard enough to get somebody to cut me some slack, I'm dead. My parents are really grilling me and I can't confide in them because they'll most likely just start screaming at me and talk about how I "can't handle college". If I call my psychiatrist and tell him about this problem, he'll probably put me on some new drug and I'll end up having seizures in the middle of a devotional again. And I am NOT going back to my psychologist, who is the world's biggest pervert, not to mention the most annoying, unfeeling person on earth. Why can't I just have a normal life? Am I going to have to be permanently institutionalized because I can't handle life? Will someone have to come in and drag me out of bed for the rest of my life? Will I be able to be a good wife and mom when I can barely handle things on my own, due to my stupid illness? What if my kids end up like me- totally crazy? I've got every mental disorder there is except schizophrenia, and at times I fear that I'm developing that one, too. I can't think clearly- I can't think normal. My thoughts are all skewed by my psychotic urges. I feel like I'm walking through Jello while a serial killer is right behind me- I just can't get through fast enough. I can't get motivated. I can't wake up. Everything I do is a dream- a nightmare, while the real world carries on somewhere else without me. Everyone is concerned about me. So many people are wondering if I can make it at all. My mom said maybe I should "learn a trade" instead of going to college- I don't want to learn a trade. I want to have a normal life and do what normal people do, like going to college and getting married and raising kids and being generally happy. Will I feel this way the rest of my life? Will I always have to take half a dozen pills before I go to sleep? Will I spend the rest of my life wobbling on the edge of being screwed for life? Will I always have to be just one step away from disaster? I hate this. My prayers and pleas seem to be falling on deaf ears. What plan could God have for me that involves me failing everything? I just need some help- and it's not available from anywhere I can see. Somebody help me, please.