well, as much as i detest pithy little quotes that you find on greeting cards, the quote "life is what happens when you're busy making plans" always remains stuck in my mind. i think it speaks to the human desire to plan our future, to grasp onto something solid in the unknown. unfortunately, no matter how many plans we make, there are often completely
unpredictable and unlikely events that end up shaping our future in such a way that we must change our plans.
over christmas, such an event happened to my family. my
parents and
sister came to visit my
wife and me here in germany for a week and a half. our plan was to celebrate christmas, to travel around germany and visit a few other cities, etc. while my parents were on their way here, i received a phone call from my cousin who told me my aunt (my mom's sister) had been hit by a drunk driver and was in serious condition in the hospital. after a tense day waiting for my parents to arrive, my mom contacted her family and after much discussion, decided to stay here until their planned departure date as my aunt was recovering.
despite the obvious shock to my mother, we were able to relax anyway and celebrate christmas as we had more or less planned, only slightly muted due to the concern for my aunt.
at about 7am the next morning as everyone still slept, i was awakened by a phone call from another cousin who told me in a very grim tone that my mother needed to call my uncle. i knew then that something had gone wrong. i woke up my mom, dialed my uncle, and handed her the phone. for as long as i live, i will never forget seeing my mom drop the phone, simply collapse onto the bed, and let out a wail that i pray i never have to hear again. my aunt had quickly and unexpectedly died from complications from the collision. mom was very close to her sister, and to lose her so unexpectedly was, as you can imagine, a great shock.
if there was any comfort in the situation, it was that my dad, my sister, my wife, and i were all there with mom when she found out. we collapsed on her in what was perhaps our first family hugpile and i think it might have been much worse if we had all been spread out halfway across the world, as is normally the case.
so that pretty much ruined the holiday cheer on that day. we had planned to visit my grandparents-in-law for a meal, but they were unbelievably kind and packed up their home-cooked meal and brought it over and we were able to try to enjoy their company despite the shock.
after the initial shock, my mom was able to deal with the situation very well, and we spent the following week more or less as we had planned - subdued, of course. and now to the unplanned part - i had certainly not planned to go back to america anytime soon, but i decided i really needed to go back for the funeral - thankfully i was able to find a ticket not too much more expensive than normal.
so anyway i flew back with my parents and stayed a week in america. the funeral was very nice - i don't know if it's exactly the right word, but i definitely "enjoyed" the time - the _entire_ family was there, and there were a few cousins there that i hadn't seen in 10+ years and i was able to spend alot of time talking to alot of people. the surviving members of the family all retold some of their favorite memories of my aunt, and my mom gave a
speech that could have won a competition. i can't remember the last time i've heard my mom speak in public like that, but she should do it more often. i was really impressed!
i was also able to see a few old friends (ethan, ingrid, elizabeth, kevin, nate c.) and had a thoroughly engaging intellectual discussion/debate with a few people with opposing viewpoints.
after returning to houston, i spent a really wonderful week with my parents. i also spent some time with
my favorite photographer and
my favorite banker. they should combine forces and make a coffee table book of banks. after a week, it was time to go. if i hadn't been missing my wife so much by that point, i could have easily stayed longer.
so despite the very sad occasion for my unplanned return, i have to say i really did enjoy it.
and that is more or less the crux of my personal planning strategy: make plans, but
when (not if!) things change, roll with it and always be willing to adapt and enjoy/appreciate the new situation that presents itself. it's done me well so far, and it certainly has been a huge weight off my shoulders to realize that we can't really control the future anyway, and so should stop worrying so much about it.
So if I break it down,
it's save versus spend,
driving free or a guiding G.
And the man at the top
ain't got a real clue;
where it's coming from
is an econ school.
LOL