Truly, it has been way to long since I have posted anything on here. I am tired from a very hard semester, and it just seems like I don't have time to sleep.... I have got to keep going. Other than that I am having a blast in college. I have set some monthly goals and they seem to be working very well. I have come to find out that you have to want it for it to work... speaking of goals. Its hard work, but the prize is such an achievement. I have decided to be an english major, and than I wonder why I even came to Troy. The only reason that I ever came here was for the journalism. I wished I had known then, when I had people begging me to stay at home what I know now. Oh well, I believe that everything happens for a reason and there is a reason that I am here. I will add "keeping pleonast up" to my monthly goals. I hope everyone is doing fine. I love ya'll and I will see you soon.

Many people would die for a lie, but someone would only be willing to die for a lie if they thought the lie they believed was actually the truth. When it comes to the apostles of Jesus, we have a very different story. No one spent more time with Jesus during his public ministry than the twelve apostles. They believed Jesus was the Messiah until he was crucified. They were expecting Jesus to be an earthly king who would save them from their enemies. They did not know the Scriptures and understand the Messiah must be killed.

The twelve apostles were not faithful zealots to the bitter end. All of them abandoned Jesus during his time of persecution. Their collective spirits were crushed when they saw their Savior being arrested, tried, beaten and killed. They felt they had been fooled into believing a lie. They devoted their lives to following Jesus and they felt it had been a total waste. They argued among themselves who would get the highest places of honor in Jesus' kingdom after he came to power, but when they saw him hang on a cross and die, all their hopes vanished.

Eleven of the twelve apostles eventually died a martyr's death because they preached Jesus of Nazareth was the Christ and that he was resurrected from the dead. They were beaten and imprisoned because they confessed this. Time and again they were told to stop saying these things. They replied, We must obey God rather than men. Eventually, they were tortured to death because they refused to renounce the fact that Jesus rose from the dead.

The validity of Christianity hinges on the resurrection of Jesus.

If Jesus did not rise from the dead, then Christianity is the biggest charade in history. However, if Jesus did rise from the dead, Christianity is the greatest truth in the world. The Romans and the Jews wanted nothing more than to guard Jesus' body after he died. All they had to do was keep an eye on his body for three days because they knew that was how long Jesus said it would be before he rose from the dead. Armed soldiers were sent to deny anyone access to the tomb and guard his body from thieves. God had other plans.

On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared for the body and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb and when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright, the women bowed down with their faces to the ground but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here! He is risen! Remember how he told you while he was still with you in Galilee: 'The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.'" Then they remembered his words. Luke 24:1-8

If the resurrection was a lie, the apostles knew it. This means they were willing to die for a lie they all knew was a lie. The apostles had to be totally convinced Jesus rose from the dead because they did not believe at first. No one would face torture to the point of death unless they were convinced they knew the truth. If the apostles tried to perpetrate a colossal hoax, it is hard to explain how not even one of them would deny the resurrection to save their own life. What could cause such a tremendous turnaround in their behavior? They went from cowards who were afraid of venturing outside to bold men who went to Jerusalem to proclaim Jesus as the risen Lord.

Everyone would abandon a lie at the risk of murder. Most people would even be willing to forsake the truth to save their own life. Are we to believe all of these men were willing to die for a lie they knew was a lie? And not one of them caved in and changed their story? That type of conviction is seldom seen in one individual let alone eleven. They all refused to deny what they once thought was a lie. What could cause such unanimity? Only the physical bodily resurrection of Jesus and the opportunity to spend time with him after he had risen from the dead could explain this behavior. The disciples were unbelieving when they first heard, He is risen but once Christ appeared to them, they never wavered in unbelief again. The eyewitness testimony of eleven people who were willing to die for what they saw is as reliable today as it was 2,000 years ago.

Here is how the twelve apostles died:

1. John
2. James, Jesus' brother
3. Peter
4. Thomas
5. James, Alphaeus' son
6. Phillip
7. Simon
8. Thaddeus
9. Matthew
10. Andrew
11. Bartholomew
12. James, Zebedee's son

Here is a brief look at three of the disciples:

James

James was the younger brother of Jesus. Early in Jesus' ministry, James and his other siblings did not believe Jesus was the Messiah. They certainly did not believe Jesus was God. Can you imagine what you would feel like if your brother went around saying things like:

I and the Father are one. John 10:30
I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6

Soon after Jesus was killed, James was in Jerusalem preaching Jesus was the Christ who died for the sins of the world and rose from the dead. Because of his refusal to stop preaching the Christ was crucified and resurrected, he eventually was stoned to death.

Was James fooled? He bet his life he knew the truth.

Peter

Peter was no doubt one of the most ambitious apostles. During Christ's trial, Peter denied he even knew who Jesus was. Three different times he was asked if he was a follower of Jesus and three times he denied that he was:

Peter was sitting out in the courtyard and a servant girl came to him. "You also were with Jesus of Galilee," she said, but he denied it before them all. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said. He then went out to the gateway where another girl saw him and said to the people there, "This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth." He denied it again with an oath: "I don't know the man!" After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, "Surely you are one of them, for your accent gives you away." Then he began to call down curses on himself and he swore to them, "I don't know the man!" Immediately a rooster crowed. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: "Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times." Peter went outside and wept bitterly. Matthew 26:69-75

If Peter denied he even knew Jesus while he was still alive, what could cause him to acknowledge Jesus after he was dead? If he abandoned Jesus before he was killed, why would Peter go to Jerusalem and proclaim Jesus was both Lord and Savior? Peter was also crucified. In fact, when he stared death in the face, he did not beg them to spare his life. On the contrary, Peter begged to be crucified upside down because he did not consider himself worthy to die in the same manner as the Lord.

Was Peter fooled? He bet his life he knew the truth.

Thomas

Lastly, we come to Thomas, also known as Doubting Thomas. Here is his story:

Now Thomas, one of the twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it." A week later, the disciples were in the house again and Thomas was with them this time. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe!" Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!" Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed but blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." John 20:24:29

Thomas wound up dying a martyr's death. He was killed by the sword for what he believed.

Was Thomas fooled? He bet his life he knew the truth.

The only conceivable explanation for the dramatic and sudden change in the apostles' behavior is Jesus really was the Christ, and he proved it beyond any shadow of a doubt by rising from the dead. Jesus appeared to the apostles after he was resurrected on many different occasions over a 40 day period. More than 500 different people saw Jesus after he rose from the dead.

I have been in prayer for a really long time about some things, and I believe that I have not been praying right...

James 4:2-3 says "you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives."

I have never thought of the motives behind the things that I ask. It really opened my eyes to what I was asking God for. Is it a need or a want? I don't doubt for one minute that its important. I feel that anything brought before the Lord is important, but... what are the motives? I am so selfish!

Jesus tells us in Matthew 21:22 to pray, believing, you will receive. The more I think about, I can remember so many times that I have prayed about something and subconsciously thinking to myself that this request will never happen. That is doubting God and all His powers.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6

So we should come to God with thanksgiving in our hearts and give Him praise. Be humble before our Heavenly Father, believing in what we are praying for, and think about our motives behind the things we ask.

I just thought that I would share my thoughts on what the scripture has to say about prayer. Its something to think about, I mean were not just talking to anyone here, were talking to God.

I would like to thank all of my brothers and sisters who have kept me in their prayers. Please continue to pray for me. Things are getting better. My mom and I are on speaking terms now. I don't think that she is going to go through with all the threats. She did take my car away, so I am having to bum rides off people. I think that she is going to come and get me from school Friday, and we are going to spend the entire weekend together. Believe me... I still need your prayers. Please pray that I could be loving and not smart-elict to her. I want to have the attitude of Christ. I am hoping that the current decisions I have made will maybe show her that I am taking a stand for Christ, and she would obey the gospel. I love her so much, even after all thats happened. I am truly concerned about her. Anyway, I love each and every one of you, and I don't know what I would do without you guys! Thanks!

Dear Lord,
I am writing to you right now in sorrow, and in hurt. Lord, My mom is trying to control my life in ways that she has no control. I am a firm believer in You and your word, and I try to be faithful everyday. I strive to serve you. I feel that right now I am trying to make a decision based on your word, and I am confused. Well, not confused, but what’s the word I’m looking for? I am distraught over the decision that I face. I need you to comfort me in my decision and help me to know that it is you who wants this for me. Not Harold Carswell. Not Matt Gregory. Not Me. I want to know that this is what you want for me to be a faithful servant to you and your son. Please send me a sign or something to let me know that this si what you want for me. Lord, I trust you, and I know that I cannot do this without your help and love. You know me heart Lord and I want to serve and follow after you hard. I want to be like David and be in search of your heart. Lord, the Devil is working hard against you and he is trying to break me. Lord, please protect me from him. Please Lord do not let him have the chains on me that he has had in the past. I want to be free of him Lord. Please protect me from him. I want to be yours and only yours. I want to hide in the comfort of your love. Lord, my brothers and sisters told me from the start that this was a bad decision........................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Lord, I just got off the phone with my dad and he told me the news that I had been waiting for. Lord, I know that this is right. As soon as my parents found out that I had been going to a “black church” they lost it. My dad no longer supports my decision. He will still support me in any other way that I need, except he said that he wasn’t going to give me anymore money if I was going to give it to the church. Dad said that mom was coming down to Troy tomorrow and was pulling me out of school. They want me to go to UAB. Why? It’s a control issue. She has no control over me anymore. Lord, I don’t want to say anything bad about my mom, because I have Christian love for her, and I want her to change her ways, but I think that the devil has taken her over. She is going so far against your will. The one verse that I am leaning on right now is Matthew 10:34-36 which says “Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter in law against her mother in law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.” Lord, please give me the courage that I need to endure this temporary suffering. I need the strength that only you can give me. I have thought before that my world was over, but Lord, this time is different. I feel like I am shedding a skin and a new is coming. This is my new outlook, and this is my new life. Lord, I want to be completed by you. Lord, You said in Matthew 11:29 “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in your heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”Lord, thank-you for You. I am so relieved to know that you are on my side. If You are for me, who is against me? Lord, I want to come before you and deny myself, take up my cross and follow you. “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life fo my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?” Lord I want to be worthy of you. “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it.” Please be with my through out the remainder of the day. Please be the reason for all that I do, and all the decisions that I make. I know that you will provide for my needs, because you are my shepherd and I shall not want. Lord, I need you.
I love you and I write all these things in Christ name.
Your servant Kathryn Lindley