I am a planner. I make lists. I write things on the calendar. I buy baskets and organizers. My house and life may not always look it, but I like everything orderly and planned out. This goes for conversations, too. I took drama and speech classes in school, performed on stage numerous times, and even took some classes toward a degree in public relations. Write out a speech and I can deliver it well. Presentations were my favorite part of class projects. I LOVED them.

Just don't ask me to do any impromptu speaking.

Seriously, I cannot speak on the fly to save my life. I always failed at that part of the speech and drama classes. My brain freezes. I am one of those people who wakes up in the middle of the night two days later finally realizing what I should have said. I replay every conversation in my head (literally, EVERY conversation), thinking of what I forgot to say. I think this is why I despise talking on the phone. I will talk to someone for five minutes about the upcoming potluck, but totally forget to ask about their child who has pneumonia. Thus, I plan every conversation. Every conversation. Even if I am just calling my mom to ask what I need to bring to dinner, I will plan out my words.

Now that you think I need mental help, let me get to the point. Children completely defeat my orderly, planned out world of conversations. They never fail to say unusual things at less than ideal moments and always ask hard questions at unexpected times. As soon as my oldest, now five, was old enough to talk, I decided I would not be one of those parents who says "I'll tell you when you're older." I will always try to answer any question to the best of my ability and in an age-appropriate manner, no matter how uncomfortable I may be. And he has tested me on this many times, to the point that I am now completely comfortable with body part questions during bath time.

Lately, though, he has upped the ante and asked far more thought-provoking questions. In the last week, we have had the following conversations - all in the car, oddly enough:

What is kidnapping? Including discussion about stranger danger, wandering away, bad guys, police searches, and do missing children ever come home (all prompted by a flyer at the bank of a local child who has been missing for two weeks).

What is drunk driving? Including discussion on what is alcohol, what is its danger, and what is its appeal.

What is rehab? Including discussion of drugs, alcohol, smoking, addiction, proper use of medication, and a lengthy talk about peer pressure.

While I have become better at anticipating the types of questions to expect from a five year old, I was certainly not prepared for any of these. They were far deeper and more thoughtful than I thought he was ready for. All of them pitted my discomfort with unplanned conversations directly against my resolve to always answer him honestly and fully.

And a funny thing happened. I had the words. I have found, for the first time in my life, I am never lacking the words I need. I am always able to remain completely calm and thoughtfully answer him in a way that he is able to understand. I don't know that I have ever rethought a conversation with him and regretted my answers or lack thereof.

It is just a little reminder in my life that God knows our weaknesses and will give us the skills we need to properly raise our children, as long as we are willing to face our own fears. And I must say, I am absolutely LOVING this age of innocent questioning and the discussions it has provoked. I am looking forward to many more unplanned conversations with him in the future.

(Yes, I am lazy and copied this from my Facebook post.)

Austin has been learning about Jonah in Bible class. All the babies get to take turns putting a little toy Jonah into a big toy fish, then turning the fish upside down to "cough" Jonah out. They love it, especially the coughing part. Yesterday I saw Austin acting this out...with cars. He shoved a little toy car into his big toy semi-truck, then turned the truck upside down and coughed as he dumped out the little car. Bible application in everyday life. :)

I've had something rolling around in my mind for quite some time now and I'm curious about your thoughts. We often say "God will provide". What does this truly mean?

I know what we mean when we say it. Normally, the statement is made in times of trial, especially financial stress. We mean that even though we only have $30 in the bank account, somehow we will find a way to buy groceries next week because God will provide the means. We say it with great faith. And we admire people who demonstrate such faith. We use Matthew 6:25-34 as our supporting text. I have always followed this same train of thought. Until about a year ago.

About a year ago I was involved in a discussion where someone was contemplating whether to take a certain action or to trust that God will provide. At that moment it occurred to me that perhaps I had not been thinking of God's care in the proper context. I had been filtering it through my American eyes and applying it to my American lifestyle. "Surely God will provide the means for me to stay in my nice house and drive my nice car and have my kids dressed in nice clothes. He will always provide a way for us to live at least a modest American life." Now, you are probably thinking "of course not, how foolish of you to think that." But don't we all fall into that trap to some degree?

Here's what got me thinking: What about Christians in Africa? Or Christians in the Philippines? Or Christians in Nicaragua? There are faithful people in all of those places, as well as the rest of the world, who struggle to even live through the day. There are Christians whose homes are destroyed by natural disasters and they are left destitute. There are Christians literally starving to death. There are Christians with only one set of tattered clothes.

So, with that in mind, what does it truly mean when God says He will provide? What will He provide? And how much effort do we put into providing for ourselves? I have some thoughts, but I am curious what you think.

I have decided that my boys are conspiring against me. Here is what I believe happens every night:

8pm: Put the boys to bed. Let the conspiring begin.

Nicholas: Austin, let's plan how we're going to do it tonight. This time I'll start off at 10pm. I'll get up because I either have to go potty or I had a bad dream.

Austin: Good idea. I'll take the midnight shift - just after Mommy has fallen asleep. I'll cry because my teeth hurt. Maybe I'll even wet my diaper, so they have to get me out of bed to change me.

Nicholas: Excellent. Next, I'll wake up around 2am with a coughing fit. I'll cough for a good five or ten minutes until one of them finally brings me some water.

Austin: That leaves the 4am slot. I'll whimper loud enough to wake up Mommy, but not too loud so I don't wake Daddy. I'll do it just long enough that I'm sure she's awake. I'll stop just as she's about to get out of bed.

Nicholas: Perfect. Then we both will listen for Mommy and Daddy. When we hear their alarm clock we will wait about ten minutes and then start talking. That will give Mommy time to get her coffee, but not enough time to shower and get ready.
I think we are all set. Now let's pretend to sleep so we fool them into thinking it's going to be a good night.

How do I know they are doing this? Because every night is some variation of this routine. It is far too common for it to be a mere coincidence. Little do they realize that Mommy and Daddy are on to them and will soon break up their scheming ways when we move into the new house and put them in separate rooms. Then, finally, I will sleep through the night. I can hardly wait.

Question for parents/teachers who have dealt with kindergarteners and their transition to school: All day kindergarten or half-day?
Nicholas has been in preschool for two years and is used to 3 hrs/day x 3 days/wk.
We have a choice of 1/2 day kindergarten for 3 hrs/day or full day kindergarten for 6 1/2 hrs/day.
1/2 day seems like it is not too different timewise than preschool and since we'll be driving 20 min to take him to school, 3 hrs will likely go by too fast. But the full day seems really long and pickup time will fall right during Austin's nap.
I'm kind of wishing there was a 3/4 day. :)
Anyone made the transition from preschool to kindergarten? Thoughts?