Conspiracy Theory
I have decided that my boys are conspiring against me. Here is what I believe happens every night:
8pm: Put the boys to bed. Let the conspiring begin.
Nicholas: Austin, let's plan how we're going to do it tonight. This time I'll start off at 10pm. I'll get up because I either have to go potty or I had a bad dream.
Austin: Good idea. I'll take the midnight shift - just after Mommy has fallen asleep. I'll cry because my teeth hurt. Maybe I'll even wet my diaper, so they have to get me out of bed to change me.
Nicholas: Excellent. Next, I'll wake up around 2am with a coughing fit. I'll cough for a good five or ten minutes until one of them finally brings me some water.
Austin: That leaves the 4am slot. I'll whimper loud enough to wake up Mommy, but not too loud so I don't wake Daddy. I'll do it just long enough that I'm sure she's awake. I'll stop just as she's about to get out of bed.
Nicholas: Perfect. Then we both will listen for Mommy and Daddy. When we hear their alarm clock we will wait about ten minutes and then start talking. That will give Mommy time to get her coffee, but not enough time to shower and get ready.
I think we are all set. Now let's pretend to sleep so we fool them into thinking it's going to be a good night.
How do I know they are doing this? Because every night is some variation of this routine. It is far too common for it to be a mere coincidence. Little do they realize that Mommy and Daddy are on to them and will soon break up their scheming ways when we move into the new house and put them in separate rooms. Then, finally, I will sleep through the night. I can hardly wait.
8pm: Put the boys to bed. Let the conspiring begin.
Nicholas: Austin, let's plan how we're going to do it tonight. This time I'll start off at 10pm. I'll get up because I either have to go potty or I had a bad dream.
Austin: Good idea. I'll take the midnight shift - just after Mommy has fallen asleep. I'll cry because my teeth hurt. Maybe I'll even wet my diaper, so they have to get me out of bed to change me.
Nicholas: Excellent. Next, I'll wake up around 2am with a coughing fit. I'll cough for a good five or ten minutes until one of them finally brings me some water.
Austin: That leaves the 4am slot. I'll whimper loud enough to wake up Mommy, but not too loud so I don't wake Daddy. I'll do it just long enough that I'm sure she's awake. I'll stop just as she's about to get out of bed.
Nicholas: Perfect. Then we both will listen for Mommy and Daddy. When we hear their alarm clock we will wait about ten minutes and then start talking. That will give Mommy time to get her coffee, but not enough time to shower and get ready.
I think we are all set. Now let's pretend to sleep so we fool them into thinking it's going to be a good night.
How do I know they are doing this? Because every night is some variation of this routine. It is far too common for it to be a mere coincidence. Little do they realize that Mommy and Daddy are on to them and will soon break up their scheming ways when we move into the new house and put them in separate rooms. Then, finally, I will sleep through the night. I can hardly wait.
In regards to my meeting...I hope we're the Jedis...Financial Planning is certainly as snarky as Sith Lords...