A Breakfast Conversation

at 03/11/10 4:35PM

Audrey- "Mommy, when I get bigger will you help me find a nice man to marry? I don't want to marry a mean man."

Me- "I would love to help you find a kind and Godly man to marry."

Audrey- "Thank you Mama."

Emmie- "Jesus is the right man."

Audrey- "Yes, but we can't marry Him. He went to Heaven. Mama, did Jesus ever get married?"

Then came me explaining who Jesus was and why He came to earth...

After a few minutes:

Audrey- "Noah is a nice boy. We should go and visit him and stay at his house because I miss him."

She's only 4 and she talks of marriage and babies multiple times a day. I find it sweet and it makes me think how true it is that women have a desire to be loved and to give love. Many young women these days are sadly not encouraged in this path, but are rather encouraged to pursue higher education and to get a career. While I won't go and say that this is wrong per se, I can't help but ask the question of why? It saddens me to hear young Christian women discussing scholarships and colleges and careers rather than about being wives & mothers and homemakers. It is often looked down upon...even by some in the church. This should not be. I only have a year and a half of a college education and while I was convinced that I had made the right decision for our family by not continuing my education I felt guilty and like a failure for years for having not finished. Not anymore-I will proudly tell anyone that I am a homemaker and have no regrets about not finishing college. While this doesn't happen to everyone who completes a college education, many do get caught up in the dual income trap and while good intentions are to stay home once children come along, it is often hard to change the lifestyle you are in and then children are given over to others to raise.

I do not say these things to cause anyone to feel guilty, but to just think about the paths we are sending our children down--particularly daughters. Because I was of that same mindset of getting a great education and having a career, that was my entire focus growing up. When it came time to be a homemaker I stumbled for several years because my focus wasn't in the right place and I didn't have a clue what I was doing . This is sad to me and is not something I want my girls to struggle with. There is no greater job and there is nothing that would keep my from raising my own children and teaching my own children.
It makes me proud to hear my daughters tell me that boys go to work outside the home and women work at home.

You may ask if I will one day allow my girls to attend a college and I would say yes to that. It however would not be for the pursuit of a "prestigious" degree, but something that would aid their family if need be. It's all in guarding their hearts and teaching them while they are young...

This may not make friends, but I suppose I'm willing to accept that.....

9-28 of 28 comments « prev 1 2 next »

You inspired me to share Hannah's article on my blog!

by sallyanne at 03/11/10 6:55PM
Your greatest profession is mother, wife, and a child of the Most High God!!! I love you very much.

by sportsfan at 03/11/10 7:49PM
I do not know you but found your blog from Sally's post. I LOVE what you had to say and couldn't agree more. My oldest daughter is due to have a baby in about three weeks. She has been working at a bank but she and her hubby both feel strongly that she will be a stay-at-home Mom. (They recently told me that they have discovered that it was "unusual" that both of their mothers were always at home and they are so very grateful for it!). The other day the doctor told her she had to quit work now and they actually went out and celebrated the fact that she was now officially a Stay-at-Home Mom! This thrilled me to death. How many people would celebrate that? :) Thanks for sharing these thoughts. I think they are Biblically sound!

by mamap at 03/12/10 12:09AM
It amazes me the depth of conversations we can have with our children even at such a young age. Sweet girls you have!! I love being a mommy. I really have no regrets about not finishing my degree. I remember when Mom got a job when I was 17 I would still go and visit her b/c I missed knowing that she was at home.

by katie_fitz_steinback at 03/12/10 12:52AM
Ok I LOVE this post. LOVE it! I grew up being guided by my parents to pursue being a homemaker and wanting lots of babies and to get married. That was pretty much all I ever wanted. I'm SOOo blessed and thankful that I had parents that not only allowed me to want this but encouraged it in me. I try to do the same with my girls and I tell them that being a wife and mother opens the door for them to do so many things and use so many talents that God has given them.

School was always something I loved but I felt like it was just a stepping stone toward getting to my real life. Then I went to college. Why? Cause that's just what you do right?! So I went. I found a husband and got married. I ended up getting my AA and as I look back on it (and Frederic and I were just talking about this the other day) I really should have stopped going to school when we met and got married then instead of finishing my 2nd year. It just created more debt for us and I got a degree that I really don't use at all.

The longer I'm a wife and mother, the more I see that when we do what God wants we are setting ourselves up for a life of contentment and peace and the more we stray from that, the more we are setting ourselves up for heartache. Great post Jodi! I couldn't have said it better myself!

by crazy_mama at 03/12/10 3:07AM
I came here from Sally's blog. Thank you for your realization and for sharing it and bless you in the raising of your sweet girls.

by lori_in_pa at 03/12/10 8:02AM
I would not have met Chris (or so many of my fabulous Christian friends, which are very hard to come by up here in the NW) if I wouldn't have gone to FC, so I can't say I regret that at all. But my parents have always made it very clear that they hoped their daughters would one day be SAHM's. So, neither me or my sisters finished with a Bachelor's degree. I don't think any of us regret that.

Then I went to trade school and got my cosmetology license. I'm SO glad I did. We don't need me to work full time and my career means I can make my own hours. I work MAYBE 8-12 hours a week. I feel blessed that I was able to go to school for and work at something I love but still be home 95% of the time with my kids. Of course I agree with your points and I think being a SAHM is something we should all strive for. :)

by stylinmama at 03/12/10 5:45PM
I appreciate this post, Jodi! I agree wholeheartedly with your comments and I appreciate you boosting my confidence a little! I still feel some regret towards not finishing my degree. I am constantly reminding myself that it would be a "waste of money" to go back to school when I don't intend to work outside the home.

by nillabarr at 03/13/10 8:59AM
Sweet Audrey and Emmie! (I LOVE the "Jesus is the right man" comment!) It was really drilled into me when I was young that I could be anything I wanted to be and that I needed to find a fulfilling career. This continued even at FC! I bought into that belief, and just spent 10 years paying off my student loans because of it! Now I did pursue music because it would be something I could do from home with a family, but I got into such a warped way of thinking and became waaaaay too focused on my "career" and am sad to admit that our marriage suffered in the beginning because of that.

It wasn't until I had been out of school for a while that I realized that I didn't have to be going to school to learn what I wanted to learn. I could learn whatever I wanted on my own! I also became more focused on developing my talents to take care of my home, husband and children, and I could not be more satisfied with this as my lifelong pursuit! I just wish I had never got so caught up in, what I consider to be the worldliness of being so career minded the way I did. :(

by heatheronthehill at 03/13/10 11:10AM
Your lovely comment warmed my heart. I had never thought of being a homemaker as a gift--so true. I was so thankful to see Hannah choose that topic for her article -- of all the things she could have written about! It made me cry, of course. I'm a bit too sentimental in my old age. But, I've invested my life, my energy, my time, to my husband and my children and it means the world to me to see them blessed and happy and -- most of all -- following God. You know, I am so imperfect and I've made so many mistakes over the years and it amazes me that God has blessed me so abundantly in spite of my weaknesses. I am so blessed!

Hannah was so encouraged by your comment (and the others). I'm glad you blogged this and -- unknowingly -- gave me the courage to share her article! Thank you for your wonderful example!

by sallyanne at 03/14/10 3:55PM
Good post, Jodi! Thanks.

by nottoscale at 03/15/10 12:30AM
Excellent!! You don't know me and I don't know you, but this is what I believe. :) I raised her and her in this manner and they are beautiful homemakers today!! Bless you, bless you, bless you. Share it everywhere you can!

by marmee at 03/15/10 5:41PM
I am sure that there are many schools of thought on this idea...I personally finished my degree and am glad that I did. If something ever happened to Rob, I would want to make sure that I could provide for my family (if it ever came to that). One of the things I've noticed is that many people think that if you are a homemaker, you are uneducated. WRONG! Some of the brightest women I know are homemakers/moms. We must remember though that not everyone is blessed w/ having a husband w/ a job that is able to support their families and therefore we must be careful not to look down on those who have to work. PLUS...some of us wouldn't have met our husbands had we not entered the "working world".

by laurabelle at 03/16/10 11:03AM
^^ so true! I finished too. :)

by shadders05 at 03/16/10 11:56AM
Excellent post Jodi! I'm am trying hard to instill this in my own girls, even at their young age. I often pray that somewhere out there is a mom who is living the same example for her son(s) that my girls may marry. I am extremely grateful to my MIL who stayed home and raised her two boys and my FIL who work hard for it to be that way. My husband works hard to enable me to stay home because he knows the value in it, through his mom's and dad's example as well as through the Bible. It is becoming uncommon (even amongst Chrisitians) and it scares me for my girls. I think it's going to be rare to find a young man who shares the same values in being a SAHM.

by mel_ody at 03/16/10 2:11PM
I agree that married woman should take care of their family primary at home but what about all those other girls/ladies that haven't found "the one" yet? My parents wanted me to meet a man and get married and have children but I haven't found "the one" yet so my education went down the drain. I was too focused on finding a guy. I wasn't encouraged by my parents to get an education and now I wish I tried harder when I was younger to get my degree. Now that I'm 30, single and without a degree, I feel like I should've done something different. I'm going back to school now to get my degree in Dietetics and wish I decided to do this earlier. I encourage all single ladies to work on their education so they can provide for themselves until they meet a man to provide for them. I had my life planned out...find a guy, get married, have kids. Well, it didn't go as planned and I need to provide for myself and that's why all single ladies should get an education incase their plan doesn't go as planned. That's my thought for the day :)

by flychic at 03/17/10 10:14AM
^^Good Call!! I would have to agree! I almost think that parents are doing their children a dis-service if they don't encourage them to be able to provide for themselves. Not everyone is lucky enough to find Mr. Right at a young age...I would hate for my children to end up at a dead-end job which did not utilitze their full potential just b/c they were still looking for the right man to marry! I think that it puts unnecessary pressure on them to find a spouse...when in fact, some of the greatest blessings come to us when we aren't looking! :)

by laurabelle at 03/17/10 10:58AM
I so think we are all saying the same thing!!!! I think its great!!!!

by shadders05 at 03/17/10 2:52PM
I think we need to be careful that we don't discourage our wives and homemakers who do not have degrees--somehow making them feel 'less than' -- while I don't think that's anyone's intention, I think it is fallout from the 'degrees all around' mentality-- I do have a Bachelor's degree, but we don't encourage our daughters to seek a career other than homemaking--though we do encourage learning and continuing to learn throughout life.

If the time came and it was evident that Mr. Right was not at hand, there are many things (besides working full time in a secular career) that daughters can choose to do. This does not fit the mold our society has patterned, but we know many godly young women who lived at home until their 20's and traveled, did overseas work, volunteered, helped young mothers, attended college part time...we really should not demand that they all seek careers. If they want to do this, if they somehow feel a need--that's up to them. But, to bind 'college for all girls just in case' is just not sensible. Few things are 'one size fits all.'

Let's not make our wives and homemakers feel like they are lacking when they *failed* to get a degree. Many wonderful and successful women are without college educations.

by sallyanne at 03/19/10 10:04AM
Wow, what a good post! Excellent thoughts!

by onelittlecandle at 03/19/10 2:09PM

Too Funny!

at 03/06/10 5:09PM

Tim Hawkins--The Government Can

WOW! Pretty funny!

by crazy_mama at 03/06/10 5:58PM
So funny! I've spent hours on youtube watching his stuff. :)

by littlelamb at 03/06/10 6:15PM
We love that. Tim H. is a favorite of ours!

by sallyanne at 03/06/10 6:22PM
I love that! Tim Hawkins is amazing. XD

by _fire_of_fantasy_ at 03/06/10 7:13PM
Loved that - thanks for posting this!

by mtnestr at 03/06/10 8:03PM
-i can't wait for you guys to get here!! jay and megan are really excited to see the girls, it's been too long!
-i'm currently re-watching the Love Comes Softly series so that i can hopefully send them back with you so that you can watch them too! (if you think you'd have time for them)
-not doing a lot of baking.....well, actually i make cookies/muffins/brownies almost every week but they are from a package and i dont really count that as baking! hopefully after spring break i'll start to cook actual good nutritious things again!
-the weather is warming up, yay!
-havent read any good books lately, only the ones for school and those are pretty boring...have you read any Nicholas Sparks books? megan had a few that i read and they were really good, his usually are!
-me jay and megan just went to see alice in wonderland and it was pretty good...and clean!...it did have a couple scary parts (for like a 4 yr old) but other than that it was good.
-.....i'll probably think of something else but i think that is it for now! :)

by spygirl007 at 03/06/10 10:35PM
ps. there is a recipe you made MANY years ago (i think at your moms house). it was a chicken dish that had cheez-its over it?...hmm, do you remember which one i'm talking about?

by spygirl007 at 03/08/10 2:56PM
lol Thanks so much! :D And yes, they were very fun.

by _fire_of_fantasy_ at 03/09/10 3:17PM

Spring Fever & Books

at 03/03/10 11:07AM

The days are visible longer and warmer. We've had temps in the upper 30's and should be in the low 40's this week. For us at this time of the year that means just long sleeves and sweaters outside--no coats (unless the wind is blowing). I've been busy planning my garden and cleaning out my house. It's such a good feeling. I am trying to keep my spring fever at bay though because I know we won't really be warm until later May or early June. Those months should go quickly though as there is a lot to do before that time. We have a couple of inside projects (trim in bedrooms and storage/laundry room remodel) as well as getting everything ready for gardening season.

We are driving to FL to see Jay, Megan, & Hillary in 10 days and while the weather isn't all that warm there at the moment I am sure the temps will still make it hard on curing spring fever!

I'm in a new monthly book club that I am pretty excited about. We had our first meeting last week just to visit, eat, and discuss the rules of the club. We had such a good time that we ended up being there for 4 hours...oops! It's a pretty diverse group in regards to taste in books so we thought it would be fun for each of us to take turns picking the books we read. Our first book is The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell. It's a sci-fi book which I don't typically choose, but I'm excited about expanding my horizons. The girl that picked the book referred to it as Jesuits in space--should be interesting! I ordered it from Amazon and should have more than enough time to read on our 24+ hour drive to FL next week.

I'm also reading several other books which for those of you who know me well this isn't a surprise. I typically have several books going at once.
*Just finished Blink by Ted Dekker. Not my favorite book of all time, but I did enjoy it.
*Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon. This book has changed our eating habits even more than before.
*Vegetable Gardening in Minnesota
*Little House in the Big Woods with the girls
*Churches on the New Testament by Ethan Longhenry. Very well done.
*Preserving Food without Canning or Freezing

What are you reading? I am ready to move on to another fiction after just finishing Blink, but can't decide just what to choose (besides the Sparrow). I am thinking of Monster by Frank Peretti, Little Dorrit, The Complete Jane Austen, or another Ted Dekker. Any suggestions?

I'm reading Shepherding my Child's Heart. Great book!

by crazy_mama at 03/03/10 11:39AM
I'm reading the second volume of Churchill's history of WWII: "Their Finest Hour". I LOVE Churchill's books.

Nourishing Traditions sounds interesting, also the one on preserving. I'm getting ready for spring here, too. Sadly, my garden plot may be doomed due to drainage issues, but we'll see. I'm going to plan on planting (and harvesting) anyway. :)

by littlelamb at 03/03/10 1:14PM
Hahaha, I heard about "Jesuits in Space." Sounds interesting! :)

by isabeau_danjou at 03/03/10 2:02PM
I know what you mean about spring fever! We placed a huge seed/plant order a while back. They are not supposed to send you the stuff until it is time to plant. I will work on the garden and Sean will work on the trees.
I am reading a Beverly Lewis book right now. I love those!

by purrph1 at 03/03/10 2:40PM
Your book club sounds really exciting! I wish I could do something like that! Not sure when I would find the time to read and keep on a schedule...but I know that there's more time in the day then I realize...I just need to be better about utilizing it!! I am not currently reading anything for shear "pleasure" but I am reading "Lord, Give Me a Heart for You" for a Bible study I'm involved in on the base. AMAZING!

by laurabelle at 03/03/10 3:23PM
Don't do Three by Dekkar. I hated it. Just a heads up. I did like Kiss, though. It was a good read.
I love Little Dorrit (I am a Dickens fan...)...but Austen is my all time favorite author.

I am reading a Tale of Two Cities. I am also reading Fit Not Fat at Forty Plus :).

by sallyanne at 03/03/10 5:07PM
Hey! It sounds like you are doing well! Thats great! Sorry I haven't returned your phone call. Its been busy around here as well. We will have to make a "date" to chat! Maybe I can get the kids down for a nap at the same time tomorrow afternoon and call! I will try! :) Love you!

by shadders05 at 03/04/10 12:20AM
I'm very curious about the Nourishing Traditions book! I've heard bits & pieces about it.
Is the book club with women from church or is it scattered beyond that? There's a BC here that a lot of my friends are in.

Sounds like good fun! Maybe we'll see you in a couple of weeks!

by megan at 03/04/10 9:36AM
still researching what?

by shadders05 at 03/04/10 2:31PM
Was that curriculum Switched on Schoolhouse or something by Alpha Omega?

by katie_fitz_steinback at 03/04/10 7:03PM
You could stop by and see Wade. He is in Panama City, FLfor a school for work for 6 weeks. Love you!

by katie_fitz_steinback at 03/04/10 7:05PM
I won't ruin it for you in case you read it. I can always send you mine!! Just let me know.
It was a good read, but I was NOT happy with the outcome. It is hard to explain without giving it away. Let's just say there were a few possible explanations for something and I was NOT happy with the one that turned out to be the answer. All in all the final ending was okay...it was the twist that I was very disappointed in. Really, it just did not work for me at all.

If you want me to send it media mail...let me know. I have a mailer and it will not be a big expense!

by sallyanne at 03/04/10 11:27PM
oh! I'm so silly sometimes! So, WHEN are we going to talk??? Craziness. Autumn is sick today. I thinkI'll make her an appt. Fever with a cough is never good. She's been healthy all winter... I guess she had to get sick sooner or later (I feel blessed this is her first sickness this winter!!!). Noah is sitting beside me and said he loves my "squishy" arms! aaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!! I'm going to have to get doing my weights again! Love you!

by shadders05 at 03/05/10 9:17AM
If it's 30 and 40 degrees, I am still DEFINITELY wearing a coat! haha!

Wow, I am jealous of your reading time!

by mjintexas at 03/05/10 11:14AM

Cheryl

at 02/24/10 4:39PM

Cheryl went to sleep in Jesus at 12:24 a.m. this morning. It is exactly six years after her initial cancer diagnosis, to the very day. She marked February 24 on her calendar as something of a curse, but now the curse has been turned into a blessing. Her earthly “journey of hope” is over, and one can only imagine the fascinating sights and sounds she is experiencing now.

There will be a memorial service at 2 p.m. Saturday at the meeting place of the Santa Clara Church of Christ, with emphasis on praising God for his magnificent promises. The family and I would like to thank everyone for the wonderful support we’ve received and the prayers that have been graciously offered on our behalf.

***From her caring bridge website...

_____________________________________________

Prayers for this sweet family are needed.

Sad for those she left behind, but happy for her . . . .

by split_rock at 02/24/10 5:48PM
I had to get part of the toenail removed b/c running was irritating it so much. How are you??? I thought I told Andy what brother machine I had. hmm... I 'll have to go look at the model number again. I really like my machine but if I buy another one someday it will probably be a pricier one.... This one does well.... but can be a bit picky with the bobbin thread. I've done several dresses on it, two quilts and applique. So, all in all I'm pretty happy with it! :)

by shadders05 at 02/25/10 4:07PM
I will be praying for Megan and Jay. Hugs!

by butterflyhomerachel at 02/25/10 11:28PM
Did you get a new machine??? Praying for your family especially Megan.

by shadders05 at 02/26/10 12:49PM
Good to see you on here again!
We've been having fun with our girls! We've been hoping our oldest will spend the night with Jeremy's parents soon, but they haven't gotten her down for a nap yet. We're a little anxious to "let go" and thought if she napped there we'd feel more comfortable with her spending the night. But, she cries and they just let her stay up, so...I'm thinking maybe we should just let her try to spend the night (they only live 45 minutes away) and however they do it (sleep in the same room, keep her up till she zonks out, etc) is how it gets done, or we end up going to pick her up. Just hard to let go... Any advice? How old were your girls when they first spent the night?
My second won't even be held by grandma or anyone else, but mommy and daddy and sister so that will be awhile...

by mel_ody at 02/26/10 4:11PM

Date Weekend!

at 02/19/10 3:30PM

The girls are getting ready to head over to Andy's parents for the weekend. Andy and I have plans to go out to dinner at Kincaid's (we have a gift card!) and are going to see The Young Victoria at a theater in Edina. Tomorrow there is a prayer meeting at the church building and Andy has a 90 minute meeting after that. During that time I plan on heading to a nearby Caribou and reading/studying. After that's all done we are going to work on some house projects together--painting the upstairs bathroom I believe. We will certainly miss the girls as we always do, but they are in very good hands and the bond they are forming with their grandparents is a treasure. All of us look forward to this one weekend a month. We will get the girls back on Sunday morning and our tradition is to all go out to lunch together after worship to reconnect and hear about each others weekends.

What are your plans for the weekend?

Well... I'll probably chill and pack!! We are leaving for Florida at like 5:00 Tuesday morning. Jonathan is going to Falcon Days at Florida Collage and all of us are going with him except Dad!! Enjoy your weekend!!

by leahabigail at 02/19/10 3:44PM
^^^That!

Have a wonderful weekend!!

by sallyanne at 02/19/10 4:14PM
Thanks!! I hope the weathers nice down there when we go!!

by leahabigail at 02/19/10 4:32PM
Girl, I'm so glad to see you back on here! I've been meaning to call...just so busy!!!! We are busy getting ready for Noah's party tomorrow! I love your profile pic!

by shadders05 at 02/19/10 6:54PM
Moving! :)

by stylinmama at 02/19/10 6:55PM
Your plans sound wonderful!!

by mtnestr at 02/19/10 9:17PM
Sounds wonderful!! Enjoy your time together!

by laurabelle at 02/20/10 8:27AM
Hope you are having a great time. Tell Dave and Vickie hello for me.

by katie_fitz_steinback at 02/20/10 10:05AM
That is so awesome you get to do that! Do you feel worry/guilt-free when you do that, or is there still some sort of longing or feeling that you should be with them? Sometimes I wonder how I would feel about that if I had that opportunity, but so far, both sets of Mia's grandparents seem to never mind to watch/take care of her, so I'm wondering if it's just all in my head. Enjoy the weekend!

by megan at 02/20/10 11:47AM
It was yummy! :)
Love the profile picture! :) You=BEAUTIFUL! :)

by juliamiriam at 02/20/10 8:32PM
Ooooh, I love the once a month date weekend idea - I wish we had grandparents close enough to pull that off!! We had family in town this weekend, for what will probably be the last big-huge-active weekend before Zoe gets here. And even if we hadn't planned for it to be that way, I think it needs to be - I'm worn out!!

by wifelet at 02/22/10 12:25PM
Jodi, we are deeply saddened to hear of Cheryl's passing. We will be thinking of and praying for all of you.

by katie_fitz_steinback at 02/24/10 2:13PM

2-6 of 6 entries « prev 1 2 next »

A Breakfast Conversation

Too Funny!

Spring Fever & Books

Cheryl

Date Weekend!

jodimn

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