I've come to realize I have trouble being honest. Obviously, it's not like I go around lying to people... but I fear I've been lying to myself.

By not standing my ground when I see others doing wrong, I abdicate my responsibilities as a soldier for God. This is JUST AS WRONG as actively participating in said wrongdoings. For some reason, I've allowed myself to be deceived into thinking, 'Just pray about it and give it time... he/she will come around.' I attribute this attitude to my wanting SO badly to believe the best about others. I really REALLY want to believe that everyone desires to live rightly before God.

This is NOT reality, Jessica. And neither is it biblical.

Yes, of course I am supposed to pray for those who I know are struggling with something. But I further see biblical examples of TAKING ACTION. Of confronting the person one-on-one and bringing the issue to their attention... because, who knows? He/she may actually have drifted so far off course, they don't have any idea they're falling. And maybe they're actually crying out for help! What kind of friend would I be to just sit idly by and not DO or SAY anything? God commands more of me.

I also have come to realize I try my best to avoid conflict/confrontation like the plague - this is solely my own fault. Yes, I could blame it on a myriad of factors, but when it comes down to it - I MUST rise above this character flaw. I MUST - for the sake of those I love... whose souls are definitely worth the saving.

Honestly, it's taken me far too long to come to this realization... but I'm so grateful I did. I'm so grateful God has created certain recent events to bring this to my attention and lead me to an obvious, honest conclusion.

Please pray I will be more honest with myself and with others - it will be the hardest thing I've done in this life.

PS - I will try not to be so serious & deep next time - promise! Just sharing what's on my heart.

No other music makes me visibly relax like the soft melodies of Norah Jones.

She.is.amazing.

As soon as I hear the intro to "Don't Know Why", I immediately stop whatever I'm doing and let out a big sigh and suddenly find myself sitting down somewhere just listening.

It's so nice to just sit and listen and take a breather every once in a while... thanks, Norah. I guess I owe ya one?

Just a little tidbit tonight... turns out Nic's roommate (during this week of training up in St. Louis) is a preacher in a church of Christ in Georgia! WHAT are the odds? I truly believe providence played a part :)

It's been so nice for both of them to hang out in the evenings together whilst the other members of their class go out and do who knows what each night... Not that I worried ONE BIT about Nic's being involved in said 'activities', but I know it has only encouraged BOTH of them to have each other. I just consider that a huge blessing for him while he's away from home this week, and I'm thankful God provided... yet again!

In other news, Nic comes home TOMORROW NIGHT!!!! Can't wait to see him... and neither can Max. He asks for "DaDa?" every day... it's been killing Nic! I know we are all anxious to be reunited... so thankful we live 10 min's from the H'ville airport. Woohoo!!!

Love you all and happy to be back in the 'Nast.

I've been on exodus from Pleo for probably 2 years now?? Crazy! I've since had a child, quit my 'real job' ;), rented out our house in BG for the 2nd time, and moved to AL.

Nic is gone to STL for training for his new job with Edward Jones - I'm just so proud of him for his perseverance in passing all his exams in order to get to the official training part. And, of course, we know the training is the 'hard part'... but so was sitting in a hot room studying from home day in & day out for the past three months, ya know? I'm excited for him to use his excellent communication skills in his new job. And I'm excited for the fact that he HAS A JOB! This whole 'my staying at home' thing has been WONDERFUL... and hard. It's been hard to completely hand over my needs to another human being other than my parents... it's been hard to LET him take care of me... it's been hard to watch him work so hard & think I'm not doing anything to contribute.

But then I look at our son, Max... and I see how much he has truly benefited from my being with him practically every single moment of his life since he entered this world almost 17 months ago. And I see how much I have benefited from being able to witness all those firsts with him... and be home to take care of my Nic's meals/laundry/cleaning, etc and STAY ON TOP of it! It's been an enormous blessing... and I want to make sure Nic always knows, without a doubt, how much it means that he WANTS me to be at home.

So babe, thank you for giving me my top two dreams in this life... YOU + MAX. It was always a DREAM to have a husband I was completely in love with who LOVED ME BACK... it was always a DREAM to have a child with said husband. God has given me the 2 most important people in my life thus far, and no one & nothing will ever stop me from loving them with every fiber of my being.

Saying all that to say, even though this has been the absolute WORST year financially... it has been the BEST year spiritually. What I have gained far outweighs the pennies lost. I'd do it all over again just to know I'd end up right where I am today.

I love you, Nic. May the next year be filled with spiritual & financial growth! ;)

New Year just around the corner, and we have no idea what will come our way... but we sure are excited to see what adventures are in store:)

And we have been so blessed this year. Nic just graduated on the 13th, celebrated his 24th birthday on the 14th, we get to see both our families for Christmas, and I start a new job on Monday (29th). Woohoo!!

And one bit of fun information... a year ago today we brought home our baby boy, Zeus Stanley Morgan Gardner. He truly has been a source of so much joy for us over the past year. I can't even remember what life was like before he came along:)

We hope all of you are doing well in your holiday-ness and family time. Enjoy this special time of year!