Mental Illness

So it's been a long time, pleonast. Can't say I've missed you severely, but occasionally the pang to write a pleo post surfaces.

Today, I was just trying to find an old post where I listed all of the names and professions of exes and, instead of finding that particular post, I realized that I am a very indecisive being... quite possibly bipolar. I can't believe I EVER wanted to be an elementary school teacher! Ugh!

Anyways, how are all of you out there in pleoland???
  • vanessam
    :-) good to see a post!! Hope all is well! Miss ya!
    by vanessam at 12/03/10 12:32AM
  • megan
    Ha.
    by megan at 01/03/11 6:15PM

Great loves

Some people believe you get a maximum of 3 great loves in your life. If you are lucky enough to marry the first, then fantastic... but after the 3rd, start collecting the cats and call yourself a cat lady or (for men) a distinguished bachelor.

Now at the ripe old age of 25, I believe I have had the following loves:
- First love (the love of adolescence) - Oh the raging hormones! I still have trouble seeing Chris without feeling a little flutter.
- Great love #1 - the love of college - the most turbulent love that left a gaping hole that I had to hold in for 2 years until it was patched enough to move forward (Lord! How I understood Bella in New Moon!)
- Great love #1.5 - the post-college love that had the potential to be Great love #2, but was cut off too soon

That leaves me 1.5 Great Loves left... and I've already started on the cats (Hello Mal!)


So ladies and gents, any thoughts on the Great Love Theory?



  • aubrey_leigh
    I think this theory can tread water. I just don't know that your heart could take more than that! I feel like with my first great love, a piece of my heart was just taken away, not to be given to anyone else or even given to him.... it's just gone.

    However, I think with each great love, you learn more about yourself, and what love means to you, and how to control yourself emotionally. I feel like with my second "great love", I'm a better lover and friend, if that makes sense, because I know myself better and understand myself more fully.

    I wonder if this even makes sense.... :)
    by aubrey_leigh at 11/23/09 1:40AM
  • TheMrsCrabtree
    all i know is i love you! And we missed you on sunday! come see us wednesday...we're having crabtree thanksgiving that day if you want to come over and eat with us! Let me know!
    by TheMrsCrabtree at 11/24/09 10:58AM
  • everything_orange
    i think the number of loves is directly proportional to the amount of love you are willing to give without expecting anything in return
    by everything_orange at 11/29/09 8:39PM
  • crab
    This reminds me of Jemaine and Bret's talk about how many ones you get.
    by crab at 12/23/09 3:54PM
  • megan_leigeber
    no no no. you can love as much as you want. but if another great love never comes along you can always look me up and join my crazy cat woman clan. (i am up to 2 cats and my roommates have 2 = 4)
    by megan_leigeber at 01/27/10 9:12PM

I'm alive.

Hello everyone!
  • everything_orange
    usually you are quicker than that, but somethings just take time to accept
    by everything_orange at 11/05/09 10:26PM
  • robbio
    err...I'm glad your not un-alive :)
    by robbio at 11/06/09 10:53AM
  • TheMrsCrabtree
    but are you dating anyone not alive? cause that seems to be the in thing you know.
    by TheMrsCrabtree at 11/06/09 9:46PM
  • crab
    Just make sure they don't smell like the funk of 40,000 years.
    by crab at 11/19/09 11:58PM

Recovery and such

So I was out of work for a few days because of that darn horse-riding accident, but I'm back in the saddle (figuratively) again with virtually no pain. Woohoo... and alas, I had to go back to work... sad.

Went to Chicago and saw the Harry Potter Exhibition at the Museum of Science and Industry... it was awesome. I thought of stealing some of Cedric Diggory's wardrobe for my Twilight fans... I mean RobPatz actually WORE those clothes... hahahahaha

Also went to the Shedd Aquarium which is pretty neat. It is right on Lake Michigan with a beautiful view.



I've been in quite a funk lately. I sort of feel lost... as though I'm just drifting down some river and I'm not too sure I like where it's taking me, but not knowing how to paddle back.

My friend told me that I was emotionally dependent on others... and I realized for the first time that he was right. I wasn't always this way... when did I change? Since this realization, I have decided to attempt change. I need to be happy with what I have and not what I don't. I want someone to fix things, but that just isn't the way things work... so I have to fix things, make life better, get myself out of debt, and grow up! That isn't to say I'm against finding a sugar daddy... jk jk



I saw The Wallflowers last week. It was an amazing concert that I waited nearly 15 years to attend. I was in front of Jakob Dylan the whole time and the bass shook me to my core. It was great! I have recently started going to concerts alone 1) because none of my friends are really into going to concerts and 2) because I meet the COOLEST people on my own. I made 3 new friends just by adopting some concert buddies. We had a rocking time and are going to try to hang out again soon!

Next concert... TBD



Miss all of you... yes, YOU! Thanks for all the comments after I took the horse-spill... I was a little drugged up and didn't even remember posting it!



P.S. If anyone is willing to take an unemployed, Beatles-loving, Pride and Prejudice-reading vagabond into their home for a month or two, give me a shout out... it might just give me the push to quit my abhorrent job!


P.S.S. I don't intend to stay unemployed. haha
  • everything_orange
    you can stay at my place :)
    by everything_orange at 08/03/09 8:54PM
  • megan_leigeber
    i hope you find your way. its not a nice feeling to feel lost - at least not for me because i am a planner... some people seem to enjoy the feeling.
    by megan_leigeber at 09/08/09 11:04AM

Um...

Update: I have a new job. Still in Bloomington at Baxter though... crap.

Fell off of a horse and hurt myself badly... you know you really hate your job when you are thankful for an injury that keeps you away from work for a while, even if it requires massive amounts of pain.

August is a busy month for me.
7/31 through 8/2 - Chicago
8/7 through 8/9 - Iowa (tentative)
8/14 through 8/17 - working
8/21 through 8/23 - Flo Rida for the b-day

Still single.

Losing some way awesome neighbors to a 2 bedroom apt. So sad.

In love with a mandolin player in my neighbor's band who looks like someone I've already dated before.

People getting married and having babies... it's starting to freak me out.

Looking into applying to several MBA programs. Wouldn't start til 2010, but gotta start somewhere.

Trying to figure out how to save enough money to quit a job, and go to Europe for a few months and look for a job.

Restless... very restless.

I am not where I thought I'd be by 25 years of age. Time to get rolling.

  • dixiechick
    Marriage, babies, and at age 25-I know where you're coming from. I'm sorry you're hurt, but I'm glad you're okay and thankful for it?:)
    by dixiechick at 07/27/09 12:20AM
  • krazykrizn
    Glad you're ok--those horses can be mean! Happy birthday VERY soon to us!! Take care, love ya~
    by krazykrizn at 07/27/09 12:25AM
  • vanessam
    LOVE YA! MISS YA! NEED TO SEE YA!
    by vanessam at 07/28/09 12:12AM