wow today is so not going my way. last night i cried for like hours. i'm so glad danielle was here to help me. i found out that my grandfather (he has cancer that has no cure) is starting chemo again and doing really bad and its one of his last chances (they are running out of options). and i should be really happy that he is a christian and will go to heaven but that is just not helping me right now. i'm being selfish and i want him to be here with me. plus my great-grandparents are doing really bad again and probably going to die soon. i'm really afraid something really horrible is going to happen before i get to go home and see them. i am so scared. this is not helping all the stress that i already have too. i've been sick all week b/c i'm so stressed out. i skipped bible and chapel today b/c i felt like utter crap again. i hope i haven't skipped to much already. that would be really bad. i think this was my last skip though. which is fine. then our american history teacher didn't show up which was just great. then my grandmother called me twice and scared me to death. i couldn't answer either time she called and i thought something horrible had happened. i about had a heart attack. hmm what else happened today. i finished watching a movie with Seth and we just kinda talked for a while which was nice. then i talked with danielle some more and then we went to starbucks to study for a bible test but that didn't work very well. but it was still fun. and thats about all for now.
As The Deer
vs 1-As the deer pants for the water so my soul longs after You, You alone are my heart's desire and I long to worship You.
vs 2-I want You more than gold or silver, only You can satisfy, You alone are the real joy-giver and the apple of my eye.
chorus-You alone are my strength, my shield, to You alone may my spirit yield, You alone are my hearts desire and I long to worship You!

hmm...so what did i do today? hmm...i woke up really early again and went to church-met seth (my sister and danielle and stephen were supposed to meet me too but slept in) and so we went alone to church. then came back and went with my sister danielle stephen and andrew to the airport for my sister to leave. that was sad. she didn't seem to mind though. oh well. lets see...then i watched like 3 movies with seth. danielle showed up for the last one which was a lot of fun. except for when they attacked me and tickled me to death! nu uh not cool. then we went down to the river walk and looked at the water and sunset for a few minutes. we saw the alligater which was really weird. so now i'm in my room supposed to be doing hw. i think i'm just gonna write some people back that wrote me. starting to slack off. oh well. ok well have an awesome day b/c its absolutely gorgeous (even though its a little hot) outside!
Sanctuary
Oh, Lord prepare me
to be a sanctuary
pure and holy
tried and true
with thanksgiving
I'll be a living
sanctuary, for you.

its really pretty outside today. but its extremely hot too! seth-i'm sorry you're feeling really bad...i wish there was something i could do to help you feel better! the party monday night was a lot of fun. brent taught me how to play pool and then me and kim beat seth and seth! go us! hehe. but it was still fun even though we lost the next game. oh well. i really want to go home right now and never come back. so many things just aren't working out. you know one thing that has kept me going everyday? the singings every night outside of boswell. its so encouraging to see christians coming together to praise God when its not required (or whatever word you wanna put right there). i think the singings are really awesome and i really admire tim boaz and kyle fisher for being there every night. they inspire me to be there every night to praise our God. well thats all i have to say right now.

seth told me to make this pleonast thing so i did. now i'm just trying to figure this thing out. so confusing!!