I just finished my junior year of college.
Things are a lot different than freshman year.
For instance, I am now a history major...a complete shift from my previous stint as a dietetics major.
During my junior year I also quit my job of three years at a failing mail company that couldn't produce my paychecks on time and instead elected to brave the retail world at TJ Maxx.
I like it.
Maybe the biggest thing that changed after freshman year was my living arrangements. I loved being on campus and the social life of the dorms, but Oval, the terrible roommate, well...soured me on that. So my mom generously got me my own apartment.

Once again, as I'm gearing up for my senior year, a lot of things are changing.
In August I'm going to move into a really awesome garden home with some really awesome girls. I think this roommate experience will be much more splendid.
I have already confirmed that neither of them have or are interested in obtaining Canadian internet boyfriends, drinking Ovaltine, or pirating movies.
I now have a pretty cool boyfriend, who is brilliant and reads books. I find this very attractive because most people in Arkansas don't read books.
I'm also debating if I want to try to get into law school or get a PhD in history. Both sound like awesome options. But who knows.

But even my college experience is evolving, things from my past keep popping up.
Like Oval, for example.
I was working hard at TJ Maxx. Caught up in the robotic routine. Press the button. "PLEASE PROCEED TO REGISTER NUMBER 3" screams the annoying computer voice box thing intended to control our line. All it ever does is confuse the customers. Smile at the customer and take their junk. "Would you like to save 10% today with a TJ Maxx Rewards Card?" No. Most customers are too smart to be tempted by this corporate trickery. Neatly place items in bag. "Thank you and have a good evening." Smile again. Next customer.
So I was locked into hour three of this routine. I leaned down to restock my dwindling bag supply. I looked up.

And there she was.

Oval was back.

Just standing there like a grim spectre from my past. Standing right there in my totally different life of two years later.
Rewind two years. I had changed my phone number to avoid her chain calls. I blocked her on facebook. I was just short of a Soviet style non-person program.
And now here she was at my register. "OH MAN IT'S YOU." I blurted out. My coordinator eyed me, caught off guard by my caught-off-guard tone of voice.
"Hey Erin! How are you? I heard you worked here. (What? How?) Just shopping around today."
"Wow, I mean, its you. It's so...wow." I stuttered. She leaned across the counter for an awkward hug. With no other customers in line, all my fellow cashiers and coordinator were watching as our interaction oozed awkward.

What do you say to someone who you planned never to see again due to open animosity?
YOUR BOYFRIEND FROM CANADA PEED IN MY DORMROOM SINK. WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?

She began to blurt out a variety of breathless statements. "SO I'm at Tech now, still a music major. I work for my step-dad...Oh and I'm not with Chops (the Canadian internet boyfriend) anymore."

I blankly responded, "That's probably for the best. That's life right?" (He had drunkenly abused her, and their engagement was broken off after tbe court ordered no contact.) Great response right? I felt like the world's biggest jerk, but my brain just wasn't working and my mouth was in control - NEVER a good situation.

I rang her...one candle...up, and held the bag out to her. It dangled awkwardly in my hands. I realized she was furiously scribbling on a piece of paper. "Here's my phone number, I'll be back in Conway next weekend. Maybe we can catch up?"

"Oh." I looked mechanically down at the scrap of paper in my hands. "Um." WORK BRAIN, WORK. "Yeah. It's actually my last weekend in Conway before I go home this summer, but...yeah."
"Oh, ok. Well, yeah, it was really good to see you! It's just been, wow, soo long! I really hope we can catch up soon. Call me when you get the chance!" She smiled generously.
I automatically smiled back. And handed her the receipt. "You too. Thank you and have a great night."

This is not Freshman year. I never called.

CHRONICLES OF OVAL:
Part Two - "Hey Guess What?"

So despite my first post in this series, Oval and I were quite good friends. I liked her as my roommate, and we even planned to live together this coming year. Sure we both had our quirks, but it wasn't anything that we absolutely couldn't handle.

And then one day there was the visitor.

Oval had been claiming since the middle of the fall semester that a mysterious gentleman from Canada was going to visit her. Several times she had happily exclaimed that Chops (Thus named for the porkchop sideburns that overgrew his face) was on a Greyhound bus to Little Rock. And always a few days later, she would say "Oh, Chops couldn't make it across the border, because he ended up getting drunk and staying at his friend's house." I just shook my head and mumbled a few non-committal condolences.

Then one day, Oval and Chops fell in love as they conversed over the internet. (It happens! My Mom met a swell fellow over a Christian dating site, thanks to the prodding of our preacher's wife.) This happened shortly before Valentine's Day of this year. A few weeks later, as a group of us were watching a movie, Oval turned to me and said "Hey, guess what? Chops is coming here, and he's going to live with us for two months!" Hmm, I was about to protest when I bit my tongue; it was just like before. He would get drunk and indefinitely delay his trip.

I was VERY wrong.

Ten days later, Oval called me. "Hey, guess what? Chops is here! I picked him up from the bus station!" I spluttered out a garbled response ("Oh, wha- really? Now? Oh, hmm, Yes! cool, see you in a bit.") and quickly hung up. Marcie, who was with me, talked me through my initial panic. "Oval said he's going to live with us for two months! I didn't really think he would come! There isn't room for 3 people in a dorm room! There's barely enough room for us already! She didn't even ask me, she just TOLD me he was coming! But I didn't think -"

Marcie cut me short. "It's simple, just tell her he can't live in your room." Sweet and short.

I went back to the dorm, where Chops and Oval were awkwardly making polite conversation. Chops seemed nice enough, and had already plopped his suitcase and guitar, mandolin, and fiddle right in the middle of our room. (He was actually quite a good musician! He played traditional Canadian folk music - pretty cool.) After a few moments, Chops stepped out of the room, and I turned to Oval, feeling rather nervous. "Er...Oval, I'm really sorry, but, uh, Chops can't live here for two months. He'll have to live somewhere else." She immeadiately answered "Oh, he's not living here, he will be in Russleville working for my Mom's boss." Relief flooded me; I must have misunderstood. "But Chops is going to stay here for a few days, before he starts working," she finished. I wasn't happy, but it's college, things like that happen. And I'm very non-confrontational, so I let it go.

A few days turned into a week, and things got awkward for me, the third party. For the sake of keeping this post G-rated, I will simply state that I could no longer peacefully sleep on the top-bunk. I stayed with Marcie. (By the way Marcie, did I mention you are a life-saver?) Everyday, Oval told me that they just needed to stay a few more days to take care of her school situation - she had decided to drop out and move to Canada with Chops. (And this was only two weeks after the lad had been here.)

At the end of three weeks, with springbreak literally days away, I finally put my foot down. I told them that it was nothing personal, but really, Chops just couldn't live here anymore. They finally said they would leave, and after dilly-dallying and drinking for a few more days, headed to her Mom's house in Russleville. Oval called me to say "I left my key on the desk, and I left you a few things in the closet I thought you might want. We picked up a few things, but the room is still kinda messy." (They had absolutely trashed the room during the three week adventure. See part 3 for more details.) Finally they were gone, and the awkward, stressful situation was over. No hard feelings...

Until I saw the room, and the closet, which was full of junk she didn't want to move out. Later, after being informed by UCA housing that she would be fined $500 for improper checkout, Oval came back and gathered her belongings. I had to fight my desire to be angry and sharp with her, and found the best cure for this was to help her carry her stuff downstairs, while Chops waited in the car.

Nearly a month later, I received a facebook chat message from Oval. "Hey, guess what? Chops and me are engaged!" Instead of moving to Canada, they decided he would stay in the U.S. and go to college. I guess they really are in love...but, somehow, I just couldn't say yes when she asked my to be her maid-of-honor.

CHRONICLES OF OVAL
Part One: Odd Habits

Oval was a nice girl. But she had, like all of us, a few quirks. These quirks, though strange and annoying at times were nothing too severe. Yet combined they paint a rather accurate portrait of Oval.

Odd Habit #1 - Oval the Addict
From this habit, Marcie suggested I derive her false name. Oval had an interesting addiction to the chocolate milk drink mix, Ovaltine. She went through two or three canisters a week, and would justify her excessive consumption by pointing out the label that said "Fortified with Vitamins and Minerals". We all have our favorite drink, so it didn't really seem too strange to me until the day she was pouring the powder into her third or fourth cup of Ovaltine. "Erin," she said, as she dumped a few cups of the mix into her cup, instead of the recommended few tablespoons, "I really think that they put some kind of addicting agent into Ovaltine. I just can't stop drinking it." I laughed, thinking that she was joking. She stopped chugging her chunky milk/Ovaltine mixture and looked at me with earnest eyes. "No, Erin, I really do think that. I'm not joking. There is something in here that makes it so addictive!" I stared at her as she drained the last drop in her cup and examined he Ovaltine canister with discontent. "Aw, I hafta go to Walmart really quick. I'm out of Ovaltine." I don't think I'll ever be able to drink Ovaltine again.

Odd Habit #2 - Oval the Recluse
When I met Oval, she said she was very interested in meeting new people. She began the "making new friends" project before we even began the first semester by adding anyone and everyone on the UCA network as a friend of facebook. But to my suprise as the semester progressed, she would sit in our room and use the google "Stumble" application to surf the internet for hours. I invited her to go out with my friends and me, but the answer was always, "Er...no, I have homework." Which suprised me, because she never went to class. Really. Ever. This was particularly astonishing to me, because I take my studies very seriously. She was on a music scholarship, and got around $2000 in excess financial aid to boot. Yet she wouldn't even leave our room to go to class, and as a result failed 4 out of her 5 classes. By the second semester, she was too lazy to even venture out for food. I don't know how she survived.

Odd Habit #3: I do Know How she Survived
She ate my food. That is how she survived while still managing to rarely leave our room.

Odd Habit #4: Oval the Pirate
Oval had a really nice LDC t.v. I usually fell asleep within the first five minutes of movie night, but one evening I woke up and the movie was so interesting that I actually stayed awake for it. When it was over I asked what the movie was. Oval said that it was called "Taken". The next day I heard a few friends discussing that same movie. "Oh that's an awesome movie, I watched it last night!" My friends looked at me quizically. "It just came out today..." Ah, I realized, there was a pirate in our midst. Upon my interrogation, Oval revealed that all of the movies we had watched had been pirated. Well, hey if I never left the room, I would want to be a virtual pirate as well.

Odd Habit #5: Oval the Romantic
Oval was not the type of girl that had a new boyfriend every week. Actually she was the type of girl who hadn't had a boyfriend or dated anyone since the 8th grade. This definitely was something that I was thankful for, having heard all the boyfriend/roommate horror tales. But then one day, Oval fell in love. Oval fell in love with a gentleman she had met on the internet. Who lived in Canada. She purchased a web-cam and talked to him on it for hours at a time, sometimes all night long. It was like having a third person in the room. "Hey Oval, can you cover the webcam? I'm trying to change my clothes." Ah well, it was good practice. (I will expound upon this statement in the Part Two: Unwelcome Visitors)

Odd Habit #6: Oval the Gestapo
Despite Oval's illegal ventures into the virtual piracy realm, and her occasional drinking bouts, she was hardcore about OTHER people breaking the rules. Our window overlooked the entrance to the dorm, where students like to congregate. Although I slept through all of the alleged noise, Oval decided to call the UCA police anytime she was disturbed by noise. I can understand the irritation, but come on, it's a college dorm, its going to be loud sometimes. By the end of the first semester, Oval had called the police thirteen times. While I was there. Who knows how many times she called them while I was gone? The police probably rolled their eyes every time she rang.

Oval was an odd person.

It finally happened. I shouldn't be suprised. I should have anticipated this. After years of giggling with Marcie over her most valuable and entertaining posts, she has finaly broken my resolve and convinced me to join the pleonast world.

And what has this profited me?

This morning I arrived early to my psychology class so I decided to quickly log in and see if my dear sister had posted anything new. She had, and I read it. I found her posts so entertaining that I had to go back through her eternal blog and read all the invaluable witticisms that are Marce. As a result, I spent the majority of my class randomly laughing to myself, while my teacher glared at me as if she would like nothing less than to adminster to me the bizzare and disturbing biopsychotherapy treatments that she was lecturing on.

Ah well, there was no fighting it anyways. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. :D