I made muffins yesterday from scratch. Boy were they delicious! I think my blueberries were a little too big though, so next time I'm gonna try frozen instead of fresh.

Edit: I decided that complaining about my "condition" might be a little too...TMI. So lets just leave it at "my tummy is upset and I'm itchy" =)

I've also managed to make some excellent progress on my website, including a facebook fan page! Please past the word on to your friends, and register on our facebook page! The website is scheduled to go live March 20, 2010! (In order to protect the integrity of content posted the age restrictions are set to +16 yrs)

Realm of Alaria - forum page
Realm of Alaria - Facebook fan page

The forum page isn't online yet, so all you will be able to see is the skin.
You have to be logged into facebook to be able to see the fan page.

Tonight, I think we are going to have Tuna Salad samiches. Simple, easy, no cooking!
Surely that goes with blueberry muffins, right??

Pending good health, Avery and I are going with my Mom and sister to the Zoo! I haven't been to the Houston Zoo in 3 years, so I'm really excited. And this time I'll have my new camera :D So many pictures to take, so little time!

_Sam

Sunday will be our 2nd Anniversary. So many things have changed since we first got married. We've moved back to Houston (something I swore I'd never do) and we've had a baby (something else I swore wouldn't happen for at least 10 years). I guess I should stop coming up with things that I'm never gonna do, seems someone has it in mind for me to do all those things and then some. =)

I have no complaints though. I've really enjoyed most of our adventure together. There have been rough spots, it is life after all, but looking back today I can say that everything has turned out fine and even worked to the better. We have apartment, Lonnie has a good job, and we have a beautiful baby. What more could any couple ask for, just starting out?

Sometimes I feel like I don't tell my hubby that I love him enough. This is probably true. Seeing him everyday and texting him often has sorta dulled the excitement I use to get when we'd see each other. Everything isn't as "new" as a it once was, and we've had an interesting time adjusting and learning about how hard it really is to CHOOSE to love someone. It takes a lot of work, and a lot of thought. But its so rewarding when you learn to set aside your own discomforts and prejudices and give to the object of your affection!

So here is to many more happy, wonderful years with you Lonnie! I love you so much and I can't wait to spend them with you! I love you!

_Sam

You know those classic email spams of the banker in Nigeria writing to you because you are the long-lost next of kin for some guy the government is out to get, and the only way to inherit this guys estate (the value in the estimated billions of dollars) was to trust this random banker with all your personal information?? Well, today while checking my spam box I found a new twist on this classic tale and I about died of laughter. Its amazing the lies some people will spin in order to get money.
"Dearest ,

I am writing this mail to you with tears and sorrow from my heart.With due respect trust and humanity, i appeal to you to exercise a little patience and read through my letter i feel quite safe dealing with you in this important business having gone through your remarkable profile, honestly i am writing this email to you with pains, tears and sorrow from my heart, i will really like to have a good relationship with you and i have a special reason why i decided to contact you, i decided to contact you due to the urgency of my situation,My name is Miss. susan Kipkalya Kones, 25yrs old female and I held from Kenya in West Africa. My father was the former Kenyan road Minister. He and Assistant Minister of Home Affairs Lorna Laboso had been on board the Cessna 210, which was headed to Kericho and crashed in a remote area called Kajong'a, in western Kenya. The plane crashed on the Tuesday 10th, June,2008.

You can read more about the crash through the below site:

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/06/10/kenya.crash/index.html

After the burial of my father, my stepmother and uncle conspired and sold my father's property to an italian Expertrate which the shared the money among themselves and live nothing for me. One faithful morning, I opened my father's briefcase and found out the documents which he have deposited huge amount of money in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. I travelled to Burkina Faso to withdraw the money for a better life so that I can take care of myself and start a new life, on my arrival, the Bank Director whom I met in person told me that my father's instuction to the bank is that the money would only be release to me when I am married or present a trustee who will help me and invest the money overseas. I am in search of an honest and reliable person who will help me and stand as my trustee so that I will present him to the Bank for transfer of the money to his bank account overseas. I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. But rather take me as your own sister. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well I will say that my mind convinc ed me that you may be the true person to help me. Moreso, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my stepmother have threaten to assinate me. The amount is( $5.8 USD )Million United State Dollars, and I have confirmed from the bank in Burkina Faso on my arrival, You will also help me to place the money in a more profitable business venture in your Country.

However, you will help by recommending a nice University in your country so that I can complete my studies. It is my intention to compensate you with 20% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment. As soon as I receive your positive response showing your interest I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely. Awaiting your urgent and positive response. Please do keep this only to your self for now untill the bank will transfer the fund. I beg you not to disclose it till i come over because I am affraid of my weaked stepmother who has threatened to kill me and have the money alone ,I thank God Today that am out from my country (KENYA) but now In (Burkina Faso) where my father deposited these money with my name as the next of Kin.I have the documents for the claims.
yours Sincerely
susan Kipkalya Kones. "



In the original email there were 3 small icons of a rose. 1 after the "Dearest," and the other 2 after the signature.

Doesn't that just make your heart bleed? For a second I thought she was going to ask me to marry her. I bet this email snags a lot of women. I wonder how much money they actually make through these scams?

_Sam

I've had a lot of revelations in the past week. Something will happen or get said and then suddenly everything is clear for me. Its very emotionally draining to have this sort of revelation because your whole mind suddenly has to shift its focus and re-organize its thought process. I'm sure people have minor revelations all the time, like when you realise that the website address to a certain page is .org instead of .com. But I'm not talking about those sorts of experiences, I'm talking about the big ones. And I've had 2 huges ones recently.

The first happened last Friday (in February) when, after talking with Lonnie, I was finally able to pinpoint the exact thing about my dad that had made me so angry for so many years. It wasn't just that he yelled or was angry all the time, it was that I was dying for him to "love" me. See, my "love language" was quality time via quality conversation. Quality conversation didn't really happen with my dad because things usually ended in a fight or (if I was already in trouble) I wasn't allowed to talk. So this resentment and need to feel loved piled higher and higher until my sister was born. Suddenly it seemed she was the favorite. I felt like I had been replaced and was just living there, not part of the family. Realising that it was frustration with my dad, and not feeling loved in my way, that had caused me to be so easily irritated by my sister was a very profound thing. All the frustration that I had attributed to her, was actually directed at my dad. I can't tell you how hard I cried when I realised that I had been pushing her away, when it wasn't her that made me angry. After coming to this realisation, I was able to talk to my dad about it. (I'm a chicken, so I sent an email). Our relationship is now improving, and so is the relationship that I have with my sister. It will probably be a while before all those years of thought and experience are repaired, but at least we are on the journey.

The second event occured yesterday at Church. Lonnie and I missed morning services, and arrive a little late for the evening ones. As soon as we walked in the door, one of the Elders took me aside and asked if I had anything against him. I was caught off guard by this question and how direct he was. He then explained to me that someone had given him a copy of my blog that I had written at the beginning of February. I didn't know what to say. At first, I felt like I had been spied on and was slightly offended. But as the conversation carried on it became clear that I had a misunderstanding of that event I had made reference to in the blog. See, when I had come to him 3 years ago asking him for help with what I was suffering through at home, I had left thinking that he didn't care or think it a major issue. Turns out, that was not the case at all. He actually cared very much about what I was going through, and merely wanted me to follow the pattern set forth in the book of Matthew. He wanted me to go to my father, tell him he had commited something against me, and THEN if that didn't work, come back to him and then he'd (or other witnesses) would go with me etc. I hadn't been betrayed after all like I had thought. At this, my brain was overwhelmed with thoughts of how different things could have been for me. I stood crying in the middle of the atrium thinking of how life could have been different. Once I had calmed myself, I realised that that event had unconcioulsy clouded my view of our eldership. I had seen them as distant, strict, and legalistic for a long time. But they weren't that way at all. They only wanted to encourage, love, and direct me to heaven.

Ken Vaughn, one of our elders, told me something along these lines that sounded a lot like what Ashley had said to me once - we have to decide what kind of force we want to be in the world. If we want to be a good force than we will spread the message of heaven to others that we come in contact with. (forgive me if that isn't the exact wording, I was sorta crying at this point, but that was the meaning)

Now I have a new mission. I want to be a positive force in the world. I don't want people to see me as the dark, depressing girl. I want to be the happy girl that does things and accomplishes things. I already had started this mission a couple weeks ago when I started cooking all the time. 2 weeks worth of made-from-scratch dinners later, and I have to say it made me feel really good about myself. I didn't care about the condition of my house as much and small things awry weren't getting me as angry. I wasn't just playing with the baby all day, I was making something! And boy did it taste GOOD. (thank you to those that recommended Pioneerwoman.com) So now I'm going to reapply myself 100%.

Oh, and on 2 unrelated side notes- 1) my back, forward, and refresh buttons are no longer working on IE. I tried using firefox instead, but the websites I want to view aren't firefox friendly. Any ideas on how to make IE behave??? Oh and I can't see all my links and groups in pleo. If I switch to another computer they are still visible, but not on mine. 2) I'm creating my own website :D It will be a fantasy-based RPG, and I'm having loads of fun finding graphics and things. Plus coming up with my own fantasy world is just so exciting! I haven't written in awhile, and recently hubby got me to take it up again, and now my creative brain is going nuts. I'll be sure to post links here as soon as its up and running. The expected launch date is March 20, 2010. Wish me luck! :D

_Sam

My parents have this ADORABLE orange tom cat that has been hanging around their house for about a year now. Recently, some cats from the neighborhood have been beating the tar out of him (we think he might have gotten into with a racoon too) so yesterday I brought him home to our apartment, in the hopes of letting him heal and rest, and then if I can't keep him as an outdoor cat, finding him a good home.

We tried keeping him inside last night and that went over like a lead balloon. Allie and Jessie were furious with me and Lonnie and spent most of the day in the highest parts of the living room, avoiding everyone. Minnie on the other hand was estactic to have a friend. I thought about it some this morning and decided that Rusty had to outside, at least for during the day. Well, after several atempts to get him out the door, I finally suceeded and left him some food and water. When I came back later though, he was gone and some fluffy black cat was eating his food. =( Where Rusty is, I don't know. But when he finds is way back to my porch, he is going to need a good home!

If you know anyone in the West Houston/Katy area please see if they would like this sweet boy! He's about 2-3 years old and is simply the sweetest cat I have ever met. He doesn't bite (even when we gave him a bath!) and loves to snuggle. He would make a good indoor/outdoor cat for someone with some land. But he would also do well as a lap cat. He has not been fixed yet, and, as far as I know, has had no shots or vacinations. He just showed up at my parents house one day with a purple collar on and never left. So if you, or anyone you know, is looking for a faithful, furry, cuddly companion to add to your family, please let me know!

I will post pics if he manages to find his way back here. If he doesn't come back, than obviously he won't need to be adopted =)

_Sam