chronology conspiracies
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weird... -
What do you think about the first one, Patrick? I didn't have time to watch the second. -
I think they're both the most absurd things I've ever heard of -
You're probably not a mathmatical genius, so you wouldn't understand.
light
Courtesey of Ben Witherington's Blog...
How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?
None. God has pre-ordained when the lights will be on and when they will be off.
How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They always use candles.
How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb??
Ten. One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much better they liked the old one.
How many Methodists does it take to change a light bulb??
"We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ."
How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb????
CHANGE????????????
Unfortunately, there was no "Church of Christ" one...any ideas?
How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?
None. God has pre-ordained when the lights will be on and when they will be off.
How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They always use candles.
How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb??
Ten. One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much better they liked the old one.
How many Methodists does it take to change a light bulb??
"We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ."
How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb????
CHANGE????????????
Unfortunately, there was no "Church of Christ" one...any ideas?
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Are you sure the Methodist one didn't get mixed up with the Unitarians?I'll have to have more coffee before I remember the ones that I saw one time on the "Church of Christ" light bulb changers... probably something to do with debating the issue, or baptizing it first.
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how many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
only one. but the light bulb has to want to change... -
"Well, actually, if you look at the original Greek word for lightbulb... " -
*This is followed by a most ignorant mangling of the Greek language.*
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how many clowns does it take to change a lightbulb?
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Only one, duh! Any bozo can change a lightbulb!
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heehee :D
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How many Church-of-Christers does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. The brethren spend countless hours having classes covering the need to change the lightbulb and how to go about it, and everyone just goes home and says, "That was a good lesson" on the way out. But noone ever actually would think to change the light bulb. -
"Although there is no direct command or example of lightbulbs being changed in the New Testament, we feel that there is sufficient necessary inference to allow us to do so." -
shane might have a good answer, by the way he has a blog on here now & doesn't use the faithandthought one as much -
those are pretty good answers -
Yes! And yes to the methodist joke above.
The Life of the Writer
It should surprise no one that the life of the writer--such as it is--is colorless to the point of sensory deprivation. Many writers do little else but sit in small rooms recalling the real world. This explains why so many books describe the author's childhood. A writer's childhood may well have been the occasion of his only firsthand experience. Writers read literary biography, and surround themselves with other writers, deliberately to enforce in themselves the ludicrous notion that a reasonable option for occupying yourself on the planet until your life span plays itself out is sitting in a small room for the duration, in the company of pieces of paper.
-- Annie Dillard, The Writing Life
-- Annie Dillard, The Writing Life
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i'm doomed....
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hehehe
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Thank you for this quote. -
Lawyers also sit in small rooms with paper for company, but everyone hates them. Writers don't have it so bad... -
unfortunately, this describes too many preachers as well...
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But... but... NOT ME! I'm going to be an ACTION writer!
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lol! Yeah, definitely reminds me of my life right now. I can't wait to be done with this thesis...
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This explains so much about SO MANY English teachers.
Building for God's Kingdom
We can't build the kingdom by our own efforts; it will take another mighty act of God to bring it in at last. But we can build for the kingdom. Every act of justice, every word of truth, every creation of genuine beauty, every act of self-sacrificial love, will be reaffirmed on the last day, in the new world. The poem that glimpses truth in a new way; the mug of tea given with gentleness to the down-and-out at the drop-in centre; the setting aside of my own longings in order to support and cherish someone who depends on me; the piece of work done honestly and thoroughly; the prayer that comes from heart and mind together; all of these and many more are building blocks for the kingdom. We may not yet see how they will fit into God's eternal structure; but the fact of the resurrection, of God's glad affirmation of true humanness, assures us that they will. In the sight of the foolish such actions seem to die, to be lost without trace; far better to live for oneself, to look after number one. But we can be at peace, and wait for the kingdom into which our present little efforts to build will one day be incorporated. That is what following Jesus is all about.-- N.T. Wright, Following Jesus
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i like the mug of tea part...
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Thank you for this quote, I haven't encountered N. T. Wright previously, but will check him / her out now :)
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Whew. I think I held my breath through that entire quote, because I liked it so much... and was afraid it might end horribly and ruin the idea. But it didn't!! So, thanks for sharing. That's definitely being added to my collection. -
that was really good thanks for keeping the good quotes coming...
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jeans
that's awesome!