so, today me and a good friend had a long talk. and she made me realize alot. a certain person wins. im not gonna say who, but i know that if they read it they will know who i am talking about. you win. i give up. as of today i quit. im done. YOU WIN.

so yah, wow, i haven't written on this thing in forever. opps. um. update i guess would be that i have moved out of my parents home, and currently am living in florida. its alot diffrent, but it has some good and bad. my parents keep asking me if i want to come back home but i don't think that there is anything there for me. im not sure what is here for me in florida but i am gonna wait and see. work is going alright, ive been promoted at starbucks and am getting paid alot more. so thats always cool. plus i love starbucks. don't know why but yupp i do. well. theres alot of things that have changed about me in the past few months. some good some bad. but all in all im happy. well maybe this time i will update more recently who knows.

ok,ok,ok ill update! I dont' really have that much to say right now. Um, I got to talk to my awesome little sisters, i love them so much and miss them lots and lots. I went to my cousins highscool football game and wathed him perform last weekend. That was awesome. I got to meet alot of cool people and i felt like i was back in highschool again. But they lost this week so no more games :( um.... some good news to me, is that I got my job at Starbucks and i work tomorrow. YAH, WOOP WOOP, FREE COFFEE FOR ME!,

some bad news though is that i am kinda sickly right now. the nurse says i need to go to the docs monday if im not better, and that i should stay in bed this weekend, but huh, yah right. i have to much to do, oh well, i am gonna go, HAPPY THAT I UPDATED? love you guys bye for now

All i can say right now is WOW!, ive been using that word alot. But, wow. God is honestly so AWESOME, So AMAZING, So INCREDIBLE. Something happend last night, and it could have ended up so awful. I could have lost someone that i loved so incredibly much. But i didn't. she is still here. which mean of course, i still have a chance of helping her, and trying to convert her. It was deff. a big wake up. (But no jess i didn't cry). I would like for you all to pray for my sisters, and my family, im not gonna get into detail or anything but there really is alot going on, and i need help from everyone. it would mean alot if you could keep me in your prayers. thats all i really have to say right now. so this is the end.
thankyou everyone for being so nice, and wonderful. love you all!

So,,,,,, wowm so much to say, not enought time to say it in. I hace had alot of time to sit down and think. Really think about everything and put my life in perspective. Theres alot of things that i have done in my past, but they was in my past. i have a hard time forgiving myself for those things, but i know that i have to. i have an even harder time opening up to people. ive learned though that letting your thoughts and your feelings out every once and awhile is not a bad thing. its not bad to cry. it can be good sometimes. tonight i went to the devo, and cried the whole time during the talk. it reminded me so much of the past, and reminded me of how i am not doing all that god has commanded. it made me think about all the people i love and care about and how easily they too could die tomorrow, and where they would end up. The fact that these people that are so close to me would end up in hell is a terrible scary thought. and to know that i could have helped them but never did scares me even more.

on a brighter note, i love Jessica. she is so awesome. she knows me better than anyone could ever know me.

also, i am so glad that all the seniors got to come and i didn't have to be grounded this weekend!

im supposed to go hiking with bryce sometime soon, thats gonna be awesome. i can't wait. i love my cousins so much. also, my sis is hopefully gonna come see me in 2 weeks and we are gonna spend the whole weekend together. i can't wait. i miss her so much.

well i think thats about all for now. ill write some more later.

aubs, you were so awesome in the jazz concert. and i loved going to the beach with you! it rocked.

oh and seth and chad, im really glad that you guys didn't get in to to much trouble. hope that it was worth it!!

ok well love you all. bye