There's a careful balance that has to be struck when it comes to self-awareness. In order to be truly happy, you really need to be comfortable with yourself. But if you get too comfy, you won't feel like continuing to improve yourself. But if you get too nitpicky, you'll never be satisfied with yourself with all of your imperfections and foibles.

I struggle with this one. I know I'm quirky and ideosyncratic and there's a lot of people who like those things about me. I like doing things that no one else does or that few people appreciate. But there's also the need to fit in and be "cool"; part of the in-crowd. I've always kinda known that I could be part of that crowd if I so desired. But part of me always goes back to the things I'm really interested in, which aren't always the cool things.

I like to think that I'm a pretty nice guy. But nice doesn't seem to be too popular at the moment. Nice guys finish last, as they say. I'd like to believe that this isn't always true. But sometimes it's hard not to wish I were more forceful and assertive. It's funny because I've worked hard not to be so domineering, and now that I have it, I'm not sure it's what I want.

So do I keep being the person I already am? Or do I work to change myself?

I'm sure you have things in your life that are like this. Tell me about them.

Who influences you? Who do you look up to? Who are your role models?

We don't have to consciously make an effort to have role models. We look up to people we might see on television or in the movies or on the cover of a magazine. It might be someone we've taken a class from or some athlete we once met. It might be a friend or a relative or and idea of someone we don't even know.

Role models can be good. They can motivate us to do our best, to do better, to improve ourselves. But they can also be bad. They motivate us to copy another's faults or foibles. Or to think that our own aren't so bad.

I encourage you to try to think about who you admire and make sure that your influences are good ones. Even if they're not all good or bad, you should at least recognize that you probably don't want to be JUST like them, but you want to mimic their good qualities and improve on their bad ones.

Superman isn't brave.

That's the message of the nineties teen-angst film, "Angus". It's the story of an overweight teen who struggles to get by in his public school life with all of the awkwardness that accompanies his size and his brilliance in science.

In the film, when Angus is feeling particularly down on himself, his grandfather tells him that Superman isn't brave. Superman is impervious, and you can't be brave if nothing can hurt you. You have to be in danger to be brave.

When I first saw the film, that really made me think. So much of life is facing things that we are afraid of. And so much of what we are comfortable with is made up of things we were afraid of at one time. But in order to grow into the kind of people we should be, we have to learn to suck it up and do the things that scare us.

And you know what? Sometimes there are real dangers to face. Sometimes there are tigers waiting to eat us alive, or people threatening not to hang out with us anymore. Sometimes it looks like no decision is a good one. But you know what's even worse than making a bad decision? Not deciding and letting the decision get made for us. Whatever scares us may very well be real. But if we let that fear stop us, think of what that will mean for our quality of life.

This year, I guarantee there will be plenty of things trying to scare you, maybe even legitimately threatening you. I know there will be for me. But the only thing about that situation that's up to you is how you deal with it. I plan on being braver than Superman. You?