Quite Ambitious, indeed!
So, I trust that you are yours had a great Christmas. I know none of you had a great Chuanaka because I know jewish people and it is never a great time. The first night, you get a top. They'll call it a dradel. But, it's a top. The next night, you get a pencil set. The next night, you get a candel. IT'S A BACK TO SCHOOL HOLIDAY!!!! And for more humor as like, check out comedian Lewis Black. In the same way that Shakespeare makes us cry at his sonnets, Black makes us laugh so hard we produce projectile milk from our nasal cavities.
Anyway, So, back to me. My prediction went as predicted. All up until the very end. I was surprised on Christmas morning by an XBOX. I allowed it to lay dormant until 8PM, the witching hour. I prompted my brother in law to play a rousing game of HALO with me. Soon, my cousin joined in. Then, my father and uncle wanted a shot at it. (See? That was a joke. HALO is a shooting game and I said they wanted a... oh, nevermind). My mother even wanted to try it out. Then, I got a rallysport game from my grandmother and then we played that until almost 2AM. Now THAT is a Christmas I can live with.
Fleas naive-dad!
How is everyone holiday season going? Personally, if I have to explain why I don't believe Jesus is the "Reason for the Season" one more time, I'll go Catholic on them!
Editor's note: By the phrase "Catholic on them," I mean, I will massacre them without any regard to God, history, logic, compassion, or intelligence much like the Catholic church has done with the Bible and the church.
As I was saying, before I so rudely interupted myself, I'm getting sick of it. It amazes me how many people think that Jesus was born on Christmas. Oh well. But, other than that, I'm having a swell holiday season. I don't even really mind the traffic. I really got into the mood this year. I'm dressing in red and green sweaters. I'm wearing that silly Santa hat (note: don't wear them around cats if you value your life). I've bought 5 new Christmas CD's. It's a good time.
Tomorrow, I will wake up with my whole family here at my house. We'll eat breakfast and then go open presents. Dad will burn his arm hairs off while putting the trash in the fire place and setting it aflame. Melissa (my sister) will say, "I didn't want this," or "I'll trade you." Mom will say, "Curtis, don't you like that? I put a lot of thought into getting you those eight pairs of white tube socks." I'll nod my head like the little bobblehead doll I am and say, "No. I like them. They go great with the eight pairs of tiddy-whities you got me." We'll all get cleaned up and then go over to my Mammaw's and do it (the presents thing) all over again. Then, we'll play cards or dominos, maybe watch that stupid parade. Then, even though we watched it just last night, mom, at 8PM, will suggest we watch It's a Wonderful Life. I'll roll my eyes and say that we just watched it last night and the night before, but to no avail will be my logic. We'll watch it and my mom will cry and then she'll tell us all that she loves us and she'll come around and give everyone of us a kiss on the cheek and she'll get to me and tell me to shave my beard, but my anti-mother's-kiss-on-the-cheek-shield will fail to discourage the human contact and instead, it will only deflect the kiss to my over-sized forehead and she'll make the joke that she should have gotten me Rogaine this year instead of a baseball cap and then I'll say, "WHEN WILL THE RUN-ON SENTENCE END?!?!"
We'll play some more cards and dominos. We might watch Miracle on 34th Street. Dad will fall asleep on the couch. Mom will talk about how I'm not married yet. My sister, Michelle, and her husband, Jason, will talk about the new addition to their family that will be arriving in June. Melissa will talk about why she's not married. Mammaw will complain because we son't come over enough and when we do we are too loud and make a mess. And, me, I'll sit back with a chilled glass of Mountain Dew and think to myself, I wouldn't want it any other way... well, maybe if I had a... no. No other way.
So, I can't get my home computer to download pictures onto pleonast. I can do it at work, but as most of you know, I am not going to have a work here soon so... if any of you can help me with my delemma, dilemma, dalemma... whatever. I would appreciate it. Also, if someone can teach my how to spell, I could use it.
at 12/24/03 8:49AM
What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
This is a simple question that in my opinion needs answering. So, what would you do? Personally, one of the things I would do is buy one. Another would be to travel to Hershey, PA, hold up the chocolate factory (not Willie Wonka's) and steal all the chocolate in Pennsylvania with a hairclip, rubberband and a drinking straw. Oh, you may think that they are harmless, however, when you combind all of their individual powers into one unit for mass destruction, well... you just need to try and feel the sheer power of such an object. So, those are a few of my things. What would, yet once again, YOU do for a Klondike Bar?