It's no fun seeing someone you love puke their guts out, over and over again, day after day. Vomit whether the stomach is full or completely empty, it's not fun. And it takes its toll on Heather.
She is pregnant, and dealing with her own case of hyperemesis gravidarum. Fun stuff. But, it actually is better than it ever has been.
But she is amazing. She keeps talking about how there are people who would go through 10 times worse stuff just to be able to give birth to one child. She has such a great attitude about this.
Oh wait...I think I need to go clean something up!
Just spent a GREAT time in Houston with beautiful brethren.
First, I preached at Southside. (where Bubba Garner, Dee Bowman, and Mike Cawthon preach) Had a BLAST! The people were wonderful, friendly, supportive, and I even got an adjustment after the assembly by a chiropractor in the congregation!
Then I did a meeting at Alief. (Where John Kilgore preaches) What a GREAT time! I stayed with a great family, saw old friends (a la Brian Orf, Terron Gaines, Lara Chapman, Teresa Lafferty), got involved in challenging and fun discussions, was very encouraged, and was able to make efforts to encourage hurting people. Fun stuff!
I had a GREAT time, and had loads of fun!
Have any great fun lately?
I just feel so completely inadequate with regard to doing all that is before me. The seemingly big things, like preaching sermons? That's not what overwhelms me.
The tasks that make me feel completely inadequate? A combination of loving my wife the way I believe scripture dictates, being a spiritual shepherd to my children, having more people to study the Bible with than I have time, having more people dealing with suicidal thoughts, homosexuality (among other sexual vices), and various doubts about God than I can handle, taking on so much that every night my day ends by me falling asleep somewhere other than my bed (all while I continue to drop the ball on some responsibility I am supposed to be managing), feeling guilty that it seems like all I do is take in my personal relationships, and feeling bad that I am going to be preaching 8 times in the next few days in Houston and am excited about it because I know I will sleep well, and feeling guilty about being excited about being gone from my family.
I just feel like a mess. And I wonder why God chooses to use sin-stained clay vessels like us to disseminate his gospel. Is everybody like me? Or do I just have some serious growing up to do to make up for a lack of character building in my youth?
I feel like my strengths are really strong. And my weaknesses are really weak.
And even as I write this, I smile. Because I know that my vision, my perspective, my vantage point is limited by so many flesh-induced factors. I am not complaining, merely reflecting.
I trust God, and know that there are many who have dealt, and will deal, with much more than me. I trust God, and know that his vision is perfect, and I am spiritually myopic. I don't trust my own judgments, so I press on, trusting God.
I trust God, and through my staggerings and stumblings of character, evermore there is the trying, the learning, the pressing on. Evermore there is the struggle.
Oh the struggle. That's what life is, right? I learned that truth early. I embrace the struggle. I embrace my Lord. I have trouble embracing anything good in this world in the face of my own iniquities.
The struggle of love.
I feel like I don't have enough time to manifest my love for my wife. Or my children, for that matter. Or my friends. Or my congregation.
So what is love, if there is no unfurling of that love...if there is no expansive manifestation of that love?
And therein lies my complete and utter inadequacy.
Inadequacy at its best.
Please go to my wife's page
for an update on my mother.
Everything is planned and we are ready for the retreat! Our website has been updated with this year's information so please check it out. Our website is www.FatherDaughterRetreat.com and it's located under my links section. All the informatin is under the "About the Event" link on the website. Please share this info with anyone that you think my benefit from the retreat or be interested in it. In the past, we have had father daugher couples come from Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee and Ohio and we would love to see you again and look forward to meeting new fathers and daughters that are looking to grow their relationship.
It will be on Friday, September 24th - Saturday, September 25th in Orlando. Along with myself, the speakers this year will be Bruce Dehut and Kent Heaton and we are really looking forward to the messages they are preparing.
We have scholarship money available to those that are interested but are unable to fully pay for the retreat themselves.
Also, please keep in mind that this retreat is for daughters of any age. We have several college age girls all the way down to elementary age girls planning on attending this year!
So please check it out and pass on the info! Thanks!!