For girls only!!
I got this in an email from my mom a while back and Wanted to share it with all the girls. I realize that that is rather lengthy but, it is really important that you all take the time and read this.
~--------------------------------------------------------------------------------~
SPIRITUAL ADVICE ON MEN
A more important question is - how do you catch the RIGHT one?
Simple: You take only the bus that's headed in the RIGHT DIRECTION.
First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second,
the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual
basis before it's made on an emotional one.
"What about love? Shouldn't that be the third?", you ask. No, and I'll
tell you why. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.
Who can understand it? (Jer 17:9). The heart is willful and is driven by
its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently
it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point it in the right
directions!
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life"
(Proverbs 4:23).
Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out
his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.
Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe
that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then
marriage.
Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and
accountability, learning and growing together.
Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another
exclusively - it is in the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal
of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and
preparing your life together after marriage. But dating? Well, if you do
date, use the time wisely to gather facts:
1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man have
an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ?
Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to
God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an
important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed
relationship.
Is your potential spouse a member of the same family - the family of
God? Scripture is clear on this: "Do not be yoked together with
unbelievers.
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what
fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 Cor 6:14).
You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials
of living day today. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same
spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like
interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues. You
have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth
to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better
together.
Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and
your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time.! Remember, women
fall in love and get married.
Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference
in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take
his words seriously. If he's not going in your direction, get off the
bus & wait for the right one.
2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for
you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear.
No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says: "He who finds a
wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Prov. 18:22).
Note - who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of
time, God has transported men & women across the world in order to put
them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene
and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who
recognizes his mate. Adam had no problem recognizing that Eve was his
missing rib.
You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have
to help a guy out because he's shy! Men will do whatever they have to do
to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you
as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he
must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your
affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested. Many a woman's
mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you
more than you love him.
As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to
think about it:
"We love him because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Until then, take
the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to
make you feel all right about yourself. You need only one man your man,
the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at
the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So
trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker.
Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the
man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the
relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will
use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the
opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set
the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they
should lead the relationship.
3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only
into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his
intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take
care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs
to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be
a suitable lover for you.
4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock
together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and
his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you
haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that
might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Every man knows how to put
his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, checkout the rest
of the body!
5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her?
This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men
who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't
like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son
continue between husband and wife.
6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut.
Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your
life to look like his present family situation.
7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of
drama in his personal kingdom? broken relationships? problems in making
commitments? including the job market? mood swings? Is a problem always
someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does
he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation?
Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with
wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out
the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made
of the right stuff.
8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that
vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING
his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is busy
doing what he was created and called to do. Is the man in your life
guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to
happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most
miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU
want to go in life. A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman
whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader
and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be
supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of
uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to
hold forever.
Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get
the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you
and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you
with. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ.
Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his
home.
His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and
provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has
ordained for you to complement.
9. Complementary. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts
complement yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of
you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of
those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in
an attractive and effective way? This is why knowing your purpose is so
important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes.
When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and what I
already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complementary
addition to what I already have? If I find that I am going to have to
buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it
right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition. If the man you
meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself,
something is wrong. This is where I ask you to consider the relationship
in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional
or physically?
Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in
the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in
your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel-because of
you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time!
Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely,
unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for love, is too
expensive! God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only
materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You
should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of
your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your
heart and spirit, not withdrawals.
10. Does he have a healthy love & acceptance of himself? Make sure the
man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has
made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care
for you. A man's relationship with God is crucial here. His love for
himself will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not
something that you can impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That
is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal
priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ.
If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk,
if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted
from your commitment to Christ, the relationship is too expensive.
Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too
high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your
man can't soar in the Spirit, when the force of your love for another is
tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able
to survive. So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your
love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you
deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it
was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity.
Yes, Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a
ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man.
Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for the
hand that they desired. The truth of the matter is, everyone knows that
anything worth having, costs. And no one gets a ride in this life for
free.
Hebrews 11:1 & 6 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the
evidence of things not seen. But without faith it is impossible to
please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that
he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."
Have a great rest of the week!:)
Love,Jenn
~--------------------------------------------------------------------------------~
SPIRITUAL ADVICE ON MEN
A more important question is - how do you catch the RIGHT one?
Simple: You take only the bus that's headed in the RIGHT DIRECTION.
First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second,
the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual
basis before it's made on an emotional one.
"What about love? Shouldn't that be the third?", you ask. No, and I'll
tell you why. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.
Who can understand it? (Jer 17:9). The heart is willful and is driven by
its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently
it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point it in the right
directions!
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life"
(Proverbs 4:23).
Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out
his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.
Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe
that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then
marriage.
Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and
accountability, learning and growing together.
Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another
exclusively - it is in the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal
of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and
preparing your life together after marriage. But dating? Well, if you do
date, use the time wisely to gather facts:
1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man have
an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ?
Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to
God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an
important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed
relationship.
Is your potential spouse a member of the same family - the family of
God? Scripture is clear on this: "Do not be yoked together with
unbelievers.
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what
fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 Cor 6:14).
You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials
of living day today. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same
spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like
interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues. You
have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth
to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better
together.
Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and
your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time.! Remember, women
fall in love and get married.
Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference
in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take
his words seriously. If he's not going in your direction, get off the
bus & wait for the right one.
2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for
you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear.
No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says: "He who finds a
wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Prov. 18:22).
Note - who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of
time, God has transported men & women across the world in order to put
them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene
and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who
recognizes his mate. Adam had no problem recognizing that Eve was his
missing rib.
You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have
to help a guy out because he's shy! Men will do whatever they have to do
to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you
as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he
must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your
affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested. Many a woman's
mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you
more than you love him.
As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to
think about it:
"We love him because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Until then, take
the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to
make you feel all right about yourself. You need only one man your man,
the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at
the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So
trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker.
Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the
man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the
relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will
use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the
opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set
the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they
should lead the relationship.
3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only
into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his
intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take
care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs
to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be
a suitable lover for you.
4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock
together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and
his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you
haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that
might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Every man knows how to put
his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, checkout the rest
of the body!
5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her?
This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men
who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't
like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son
continue between husband and wife.
6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut.
Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your
life to look like his present family situation.
7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of
drama in his personal kingdom? broken relationships? problems in making
commitments? including the job market? mood swings? Is a problem always
someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does
he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation?
Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with
wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out
the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made
of the right stuff.
8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that
vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING
his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is busy
doing what he was created and called to do. Is the man in your life
guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to
happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most
miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU
want to go in life. A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman
whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader
and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be
supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of
uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to
hold forever.
Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get
the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you
and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you
with. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ.
Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his
home.
His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and
provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has
ordained for you to complement.
9. Complementary. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts
complement yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of
you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of
those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in
an attractive and effective way? This is why knowing your purpose is so
important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes.
When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and what I
already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complementary
addition to what I already have? If I find that I am going to have to
buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it
right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition. If the man you
meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself,
something is wrong. This is where I ask you to consider the relationship
in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional
or physically?
Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in
the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in
your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel-because of
you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time!
Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely,
unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for love, is too
expensive! God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only
materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You
should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of
your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your
heart and spirit, not withdrawals.
10. Does he have a healthy love & acceptance of himself? Make sure the
man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has
made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care
for you. A man's relationship with God is crucial here. His love for
himself will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not
something that you can impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That
is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal
priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ.
If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk,
if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted
from your commitment to Christ, the relationship is too expensive.
Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too
high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your
man can't soar in the Spirit, when the force of your love for another is
tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able
to survive. So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your
love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you
deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it
was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity.
Yes, Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a
ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man.
Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for the
hand that they desired. The truth of the matter is, everyone knows that
anything worth having, costs. And no one gets a ride in this life for
free.
Hebrews 11:1 & 6 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the
evidence of things not seen. But without faith it is impossible to
please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that
he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."
Have a great rest of the week!:)
Love,Jenn
-
Thank you for sharing, Jenn. -
Hey, sorry about being slow on the reply...things are goin good for me. I hope all is going well for you, too! Happy new year to you, also -
Good post! -
There's a lot of meat in that! I want to come back and read it all when I am more fresh! Thanks for posting these thoughts! -
Ohh--did u send me that text? Lol..I've been trying to figure out who did that! So far, yes..what did u have in mind? -
Monday night looks good! It should be about 30 min for us with no traffic...so I'm guessing we could be there around 7:45-8:00ish...is that too late? Now, are we having dinner or just dessert?
