Too much stuff for me to keep up with! So I'll be posting news about me in one central place on Facebook from now on. Add me as a friend.

"This is preeminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Nor need we shrink from honestly facing conditions in our country today. This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."

Franklin D. Roosevelt, First Inaugural Address, Mar. 4, 1933
32nd president of US (1882 - 1945)

The trump card of everything fearful: fear itself.

Top 10 Things Kids Stick Up Their Noses
1) Crayons
2) Beads
3) French Fries
4) Fingers
5) Marbles
6) Spaghetti
7) Tissues
8) Cheerios
9) Small Toys
10) Beans & Peas

Just think...in 7 months I'll need to teach my child how to do these... ;-)

Don't look at the lights...they're so pretty...

As of May 2008 I was officially hired on as a government employee. Since then I've been assigned top secret clearance to work on various projects. My work this past week:

Monday I got to listen in on citizens' personal cell phone calls in an effort to root out terrorists. Hey, somebody's gotta listen to Aunt Bertha to make sure her apple pie isn't a bomb waiting to happen. One guy mentioned the word "terr...ain" when referring to his last hiking expedition. Almost got him on that one.

Tuesday, I get flown to a top secret military base at Cheyenne mountain (SW of Colorado Springs) to work on a solution to mass transit. It has to do with charged neutrinos, naquadah, and ring shaped transportation devices. It's all hush hush. Colonel O'Neill is in charge of the base. Funny guy.

Wednesday was alien day. I drove down to the "real Roswell" in Fort Collins. If you didn't know, the one in Roswell, NM is to throw everyone off the track. I got to analyze some charred remains of an alien monkey. Apparently, it got sent on the first interstellar space flight from another planet, burned up in our atmosphere and fell to earth. Ironically, they look just like our own monkeys, and the ship looks like a weather balloon. But it's gotta be alien...

Thursday I got to speak to reporters about their latest theories on 9/11 being a hoax. Generally it's an hour or so of them saying "where's the remains of the plane that hit the pentagon"? and "who planted bombs in the towers?" I get to deny everything. Boring stuff. The rest of the day I got to visit with the people that set the bombs off in the towers, the people that would been in the planes (had they never got on, and the plane not been remote controlled), and the missile launch crew that targeted the pentagon. Nice folks. They're in a secret military installation on an island in the pacific to protect their identities and keep it a secret (video phones are wonderful). But shhh! don't tell the reporters!

Friday, I got to do some minor tweaking on the CO2 generators that we stuck outside Al Gore's office. You see his carbon dioxide detectors are tied into the global warming monitoring system. As long as his system detects CO2, then he can keep claiming we're all gonna die. We have an agreement: He doesn't look outside his window at the generators, and all we know is that the devices needs to be there for "national security" reasons.

Saturday, I rest. If it's good enough for God, it's good enough for me.


...or you could believe that I'm monitoring a satellite data storage facility for NOAA in Boulder, CO. But the first one is more fun!