Extremes
"Darling I don't know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
And if I stand or I fall
It's all or nothing at all
Darling I don't know why I go to extremes"
Have you ever felt like this about religion? That people take one of two extreme positions if an effort to counter the errors of the other extreme?
Consider salvation. Protestants push grace to the exculsion of obedience. Christians push obedience to the exclusion of grace. Isn't the truth in the middle? Are both important to our salvation? It happened in Biblical times too. Romans appears to be the answer to those who depend solely on their own works. James, on the other hand, appears to answer those sit back and expect God to take them for a ride.
I've said all of that to get to this: I see a lot of this type of positioning with regard to the woman's role in the home. Some go to Titus 2 and claim if a woman who is married does any kind of work outside the home, she isn't a true homemaker. Others go to Proverbs 31 and claim that it's perfectly fine to work 40-60 hours a week, neglecting husband and children (who spend all that time being raised by someone other than their parents), because the "worthy woman" bought fields and made clothing to sell. Isn't the truth somewhere in the middle? Does anyone really believe that the worthy woman held down a 40 hour-a-week job? Does anyone really believe that the women in Titus 2 never left their homes?
It is obvious that the worthy woman did many things that were financially beneficial for her family. That included buying fields and making clothing to sell. She also arose before daylight to make food for the entire household. I find if funny that it is so rare that anyone talks about that verse in Proverbs 31. With that said, it doesn't take a long look at Titus 2 to figure out that it is not God's intent for women to be "bread winners" for the household. Isn't that command given to the husband? How many young women have not been taught to "to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands," because the women who are supposed to be teaching them these things are too busy working their full-time jobs to practice them, let alone teach them?
I actually heard a preacher say from the pulpit that Titus 2 doesn't really mean that older women have to actually teach, it just means that they have to be an example of those things. First, that is a ridiculous statement. Second, if they're not practicing those things, how are they an example of them?
Jesus said, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done." Unfortunately, it seems that many times our decisions in this area are dictated by what we want, not what God wants. Some will say, "You can't prove to me that such-and-such is wrong." Fine. You're probably right. But, by the same token, can you really look me (or anyone) in the eye and say, "This is what God wants me to do."? Do we really believe that God wants wives to spend more time in the work-place than they do caring for their husbands and children and seeing those needs met? On the flip side, do we really believe that God wants wives to stay in the house all the time and never do anything that might be considered "work outside the home"? If that's the case, then the worthy woman wasn't very worthy, was she?
I think we get caught up in the "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality (apologies if your name really is Jones) more than we want to admit. How often have you heard "I have to work." Well, wives have to work in order to have that nicer home that we never enjoy because we're too busy working. Or they have to work to support our other lifestyle choices and all the toys we want in life. Are there situations where a wife might actually have to work? Certainly. But it's not as often as some folks would have us believe. And how about we quit using the exception to redefine the rule.
This is really hitting home with me right now. I look at my co-workers and hear about where they live and think "I can't afford a house in that neighborhood, and they should be making about what I make." And then I think, "If my wife had a full-time job, we could afford that house, too." Not because I want my wife working full-time, it's just a recognition that that is how they afford what I can't. I think I'll just live with the smaller home (whenever we end up buying).
Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
And if I stand or I fall
It's all or nothing at all
Darling I don't know why I go to extremes"
Have you ever felt like this about religion? That people take one of two extreme positions if an effort to counter the errors of the other extreme?
Consider salvation. Protestants push grace to the exculsion of obedience. Christians push obedience to the exclusion of grace. Isn't the truth in the middle? Are both important to our salvation? It happened in Biblical times too. Romans appears to be the answer to those who depend solely on their own works. James, on the other hand, appears to answer those sit back and expect God to take them for a ride.
I've said all of that to get to this: I see a lot of this type of positioning with regard to the woman's role in the home. Some go to Titus 2 and claim if a woman who is married does any kind of work outside the home, she isn't a true homemaker. Others go to Proverbs 31 and claim that it's perfectly fine to work 40-60 hours a week, neglecting husband and children (who spend all that time being raised by someone other than their parents), because the "worthy woman" bought fields and made clothing to sell. Isn't the truth somewhere in the middle? Does anyone really believe that the worthy woman held down a 40 hour-a-week job? Does anyone really believe that the women in Titus 2 never left their homes?
It is obvious that the worthy woman did many things that were financially beneficial for her family. That included buying fields and making clothing to sell. She also arose before daylight to make food for the entire household. I find if funny that it is so rare that anyone talks about that verse in Proverbs 31. With that said, it doesn't take a long look at Titus 2 to figure out that it is not God's intent for women to be "bread winners" for the household. Isn't that command given to the husband? How many young women have not been taught to "to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands," because the women who are supposed to be teaching them these things are too busy working their full-time jobs to practice them, let alone teach them?
I actually heard a preacher say from the pulpit that Titus 2 doesn't really mean that older women have to actually teach, it just means that they have to be an example of those things. First, that is a ridiculous statement. Second, if they're not practicing those things, how are they an example of them?
Jesus said, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done." Unfortunately, it seems that many times our decisions in this area are dictated by what we want, not what God wants. Some will say, "You can't prove to me that such-and-such is wrong." Fine. You're probably right. But, by the same token, can you really look me (or anyone) in the eye and say, "This is what God wants me to do."? Do we really believe that God wants wives to spend more time in the work-place than they do caring for their husbands and children and seeing those needs met? On the flip side, do we really believe that God wants wives to stay in the house all the time and never do anything that might be considered "work outside the home"? If that's the case, then the worthy woman wasn't very worthy, was she?
I think we get caught up in the "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality (apologies if your name really is Jones) more than we want to admit. How often have you heard "I have to work." Well, wives have to work in order to have that nicer home that we never enjoy because we're too busy working. Or they have to work to support our other lifestyle choices and all the toys we want in life. Are there situations where a wife might actually have to work? Certainly. But it's not as often as some folks would have us believe. And how about we quit using the exception to redefine the rule.
This is really hitting home with me right now. I look at my co-workers and hear about where they live and think "I can't afford a house in that neighborhood, and they should be making about what I make." And then I think, "If my wife had a full-time job, we could afford that house, too." Not because I want my wife working full-time, it's just a recognition that that is how they afford what I can't. I think I'll just live with the smaller home (whenever we end up buying).
good post!