...is craving

Where I have been the last 7 months of my life...

By now you may have heard the sad news.. Steve and I got a divorce. He cheated on me but agreed to buy the divorce papers. He lost his job soon after and I really was trying to move on and forgive him but with everything going on I couldn't take it. I don't want anyone to look bad from this on purpose but I feel I have the right to share what happened and I can't talk to anyone who knows them longer then me-- because they take their side.

What made me break was soon after all this, Steven lost his job and we went to live with his parents (we do at least once a year for some reason or another it seems). I got a job as assistant manager of Claires and my job requires I close so that puts me out of the mall around 10-10:30pm and I still have to drive from Clarksville to Henryville. On the day before leaving, Sharon walked in on me in the boys bathroom at her house and would not move out of the way to let me out "because it was her house". She began to call me names and said I was cheating on Steven she was sure of it because I was coming home late and because I couldn't get off on Sundays and go to church so she demanded me quit my job. Steve sr. held out his hand earlier that day and was like "Hi my name is steve who are you again?" and everyone in the family sat around laughing… it was humiliating. :(

October 20th 2009, the day before my 25th birthday I did the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I packed my clothes and wii and left for work. I brought the jeep back to Steven that evening since he had the jeep only in his name and told him that I couldn't keep trying to pretend all of it didn't happen. He agreed to pay for the divorce papers and said he'd give me the stuff for the apt whenever I got one.

Our divorce was finalized six months later.

This has been so hard for me. 4 years of my life and I can't pretend none of it happened. Everyone who I come in contact with from Charlestown Road Church of Christ so far has looks at me like I'm trash-- they only know what Steven and the Hodges tell them yet they don't care enough to talk to me or ask how I'm doing. I feel Christianity to them was "you go to our church, no matter how miserable you are we wont talk to you and help you here but we expect you show up" not saying all church are this way just how this particular congregation treated me.

I was the one that was cheated on. I lived with a complete strangers mom drinking just water for almost 20 days straight. No food. I went from a size 10 to a size 6. The money I did have I had to use to pay rent to this lady; 100 every week to sleep on her couch and her take me to the mall in the mornings (she worked at Texas Road house). It wasn't until the 21st day that water was just not working to fill my hunger pains and fill me up so I went to the pretzel place at our mall and begged a guy for a pretzel. Dairy queen had already turned me down plenty of times and I was hungry. The guy, Brent, made sure not only that I ate that meal, but Brent brought me pretzels three to four times a day incase I was hungry for the following 6 six months without fail. More on that later.

I kept in contact with Steven when he'd reply to my texts or calls and he finally agreed to give me my stuff. He only gave me a portion (the rest is in his parents garage) and he kept my stamp collection that I was given by my dad that he put together when he was a kid which I didn't know about until later. He also kept my cat Sophie and later text me that he gave her to his mom, out of spite I'm sure. :( I didn't get a whole lot from him just a few kitchen items-- all the breakable stuff had broke when stored in his parents garage months before, the extra clothes I'd left in the bedroom (which seriously I have 4 pair of pants, 20 shirts/skirts and about 20 tank tops but most of it I had packed with me the first time) and we argued over the washer and dryer until I convinced him he lived with his parents and I needed one for my apt. He didn't tell me he went through my stuff and pulled my stamps out until after he got to my apt and he, Brent and brent's cousin unloaded my stuff. I later continued to text and call him asking for my stamps and he said he knew if he kept it then as long as he did I'd have to talk to him. Finally he got tired of me asking for it and brought it to Claires when I was working. He chugged it so hard at me, I jumped out of the way and it smashed two plastic shelves behind me breaking them and sending the wallets on them flying. Two guys from tmobile (across from claires) came running in (Nick the assistant manager and Brian) and escorted Steven out of the mall.

As you can see, its been hard dealing with all this and I need prayer. I use to wake up crying because of the nightmares.

I know how bad it may look getting married so suddenly after being divorced but I want you to know what Brent was doing throughout this. He was so kind and patient with me. I have came to the conclusion that God was watching after me without me realizing it. It's taken me years to find a job and yet I got one a month before I was to make my decision. I don't think that is a mistake or just happened. And if it wasn't for Brent working in the mall too idk when I'd have ate. Not just that meal either, Brent continued to bring me pretzels 3-4 times a day for the next 6 months. He bought me groceries every week. He would give me extra $ for rent. My glasses frames broke so I had to deal with my contacts (and they began drying out really quickly which was very frustrating) Brent found out what pair I had and went to Walmart and shelled out 80 bucks and brought them to work and wished me a happy late birthday (so I couldn't pay him back). He knew I was to be alone over Thanksgiving since my parents rushed to Georgia because my sister was giving birth (to a wonderful sweet baby boy, and let me add I wish i wasn't' working I'd sooo have been there!) so Brent talked me into going with him to his grand parents house and having Thanksgiving. His grandparents welcomed me in like I was part of the family. (I'm glad I did because his grandpa passed away not long after). Christmas eve he stayed with me at work to help me and my friend Lauryn do this long list of stuff and still had to come back on Christmas and work on it all but he stuck right there with me and asked me to go to his mom's house and meet her and his brother (he'd not seen them in forever and we'd not had enough time to go spend time with my family with me having to be back at the store the next day). I did and they were both super sweet! And to top it off, I didn't have any transportation until close to December, until then I had to walk from work to my apt (20 minutes walk) after I'd close up the store at night. Brent lived 30 minutes from the mall and every night he would walk to work and walk back with me home and go home. He never once missed an evening and I can remember we had so many long and memorable talks.

Brent met my parents New Years Eve and a bunch of times after that. My family loved him. As it got closer to April, after Brent caught his girl cheating on him with another guy, he finally got up nerve to tell my family how he felt about me and ask for his blessing. I knew nothing of this until after he proposed to me after my divorce. He stood up to his dad who got out of jail not long ago after being told that he was waisting his life away getting married so young. (His parents were never married) and he told his dad that he was going to marry me whither he liked it or not. So he not only loves and protects me but he also stands up for me and he's not addicted to something like video games 24/7 where I'm ignored and feel like I'm the background so I feel like I'm someone when I'm around him! :)

So if you don't know by now, yes I am happily married to Brent and we're moving out of state very soon. If you do not agree with how my life turned out, then I suggest you keep any comments to yourself and you delete me from your friends list. I have a right to speak my mind and share what has happened to me and why I've been so quiet and silent the past 6 months and why all the sudden I'm now married to Brent. I don't have to give a reason but I feel I should let y'all know what I've been through and encourage you that no matter what you go through and no matter how you feel like you're alone without a friend, crying yourself to sleep at night and wondering when your next meal will come. Be patient and be quiet and know that God is watching you and he will take care of you if you TRUST IN HIM.

God Bless,

BrandyCherie Laswell


Steven wasn't divorced from me until April but yet the beginning of the year he tried to convince his dad he was dating a girl 10 years YOUNGER then he was....

08/13/09 10:23AM

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  so this is your new pleo brandy??? How are ya?

  by forest_elf at 08/13/09 9:57PM
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  Hey girl:)

  by amandaprosser at 08/22/09 2:45PM
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  Hi, Brandy! So glad I re-found you! I'll re-add you to my pleo list! May I send Robyn a private message with your new account name? She'll be glad to see you again! Take care, girlie!

  by beavermom at 10/27/09 6:17AM
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  I had her March 5th 4 days before Tom's b-day! So now she's 11 weeks old and such a peach! Smiling, gurgling, cooing and about to roll over soon I think! :)

  by jenlew21 at 05/23/10 10:38AM
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  Glad you were finally able to share your story. Thats so horrible about what happened! Even if everyone did honestly believe your ex and not you, they shouldn't have treated you so cruelly!
  I hope you find peace. =) (oh and I don't get the "joke" that they played)

  by firefaerie at 06/21/10 10:13PM
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  Hey Smiles and Sunshine, I mIss U So Much And I Love Ya Sis =)

  by pearls03 at 08/01/10 11:02PM
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  hey brandy cherie, how are u?

  by pearls03 at 08/03/10 3:27PM
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  xoxxoxxox I Miss U And Love U More !!!

  by pearls03 at 08/04/10 4:05PM
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  How's my sis doin? :)Miss you and been thinking about you the last couple of weeks! :) On facebook now! It's giving me a hard time not letting me add anyone cause I've Benn "abusing the system". :P

  by jenlew21 at 08/15/10 1:50AM
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  Hey there hows it going?

  by pearls03 at 10/17/10 2:21PM
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  Hey Brandy, how are u doing ? i miss talking to u . kaylaruth hall=) i really need a best friend to talk to . cause i need a friend who can be there .

  by pearls03 at 01/16/11 9:46PM
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  I Miss ya more and more Sis
  

  by pearls03 at 06/14/11 5:14PM