i do a lot of thinking in the shower, especially when my electricity was down last week, and those showers before bed or before classes are always my time to think, not about class, or work, but about life, my music (singing is often involved), and my future plans..

and this was my epiphany.

this life is our prologue to eternity. it's content and diction determine the following chapters of our existence, the chapters following that, and the chapters following that--never ending, not cyclic between pain and suffering and happiness, but an acuteness of one..

why is it a prologue, and how are we writing it?

a prologue is defined as the "front matter" in the voice of a character. we are those writers, and this prologue focuses intensively on our character--every flaw, every failure, and every triumph.

no one reads the prologue to stories, unless forced to by some teacher insisting that future quizzes will contain content from this prologue, but why does no one read the prologue? because, most people believe it doesn't really matter.

that statement is semi-true in this analogy in that the prologue is only a small portion of the entire story. our life's here on earth are so short, and we are writing just the first few pages before the real story, eternity.

however, when you read the prologue, it sets the stage for the rest of the story. we are setting the stage for our eternities, heaven or hell. after our prologues are written and read, it's not hard to see where the story's going. it really isn't. we know right from wrong, good from bad, and while reading towards the end of that prologue, we know if it's looking good or grim.

the catch is that no one knows the length of their prologue, and everyday we add to it not knowing if it's our last addition.

the pains, trials, and struggles we face here on earth sometimes seem horrible; however, Christians can shrug it off because the greatest safety one can feel as a Christian are the times at 2 AM when we can dot the last i and cross the last t in our prologues, fall asleep, and know how the rest of the story goes.

i know there are those out there who think their lives are going downhill. everything seems to be going wrong. we all might have those experiences, but be happy and realize that most people won't read your prologue anyways; they'll just be happy to see you in heaven.

- night, Ben

your own pleonast post. feel SPECIAL!

after receiving that little preference sheet for a new preacher at Church yesterday, i realized how much i'm going to miss you guys!

i spent a large portion of my first couple years in your home, and i will always remember you guys as a huge part of my college undergraduate experience.

i phileo and agape you guys enormously!!

i hope for the best for you guys in texas and hope everything goes well with finding a new house owner!

to Tony, thanks for the constant encouragement through your sermons, classes, and calls..

to Sheri, thanks for all your care and understanding, and thanks for loving and being my second mom!

to Sheli, thanks for all the times we shared together, and the greatest of luck in your future endeavors in your studies, and if you choose Auburn! WAR EAGLE!

to Brett, thanks for being a good friend and i'll remember the times you stayed over and drank lots of soda and played lots of video games all night.. it's good to be unhealthy occasionally...

and to the rest of your family, grandparents, cousins and friends that I shared time with... you are wonderful and very entertaining and fun people to spend time with!

finally, i hope to see you guys later in life and keep in touch, even if it's through internet blogs.. and i'll speak for myself and most of those at University and even those not, we'll miss you..

-ben

such a silly game we play..

i continually punish myself every semester.

i signed up for another course putting me at 15 hours this semester!

:)

"Computer and Network Security Research!" - COMP 7370!

haha..the good thing about the class above is that i will graduate next december!

which means this summer i start my grad applications, and hopefully i will be moving away from the south!

no doubt, there are things i will miss, but im just ready for a change.

- ben

as of now, im taking antibiotics to get rid of the infection in my ear bones...

then they will work on the fungal infection in my ear canal..

but apparently this can last for years, and the infections can cycle..

so hopefully it won't take forever

apparently the air pockets in my temporal bone are infected or something...

my best friend's mom was the radiologist doing my CT scan, and she told me that it's really serious and pivotal i get this fixed.

The weird thing about fugus is that antibiotics don't kill it...

Antibiotics kill bacteria, bacteria fights fungus, but bad bacteria causes infection, so it's apparently really hard to treat or figure out what to do..Should the fungus die or the bacteria die? And the fungus is a gradual process to rid the whole ear of it. The bacteria on the other hand is in my bones which might affect my long-term hearing..which with my love of music, and sound in general is really depressing.

I'm really scared about this; some of the horror stories I've read online about people with the same problems are awful.

And apparently, with the ear's adjacency to the brain, it can really cause lifelong problems, and can even be fatal.

I understand that the doctors are trying their best, but I really hope they take appropriate measures in fixing my ear. A couple of stories I've heard from others state that the fungus can last for years, which would be so awful.

I don't know. Pray for me please. Thanks.