Help
On this, my eighteenth birthday, I feel like I need to address something that’s really important to me. Something that I think everyone needs to hear.
Apparently I’m seen as a leader. As confident. As independent. I’ve been told I’m pretty. I’ve been told I’m talented. I’ve been told I’m funny. I’ve been told I’m smart. I’ve been told I’m wonderful. But I’m here to tell you there are days where I feel worthless. I feel lonely. I feel ugly. I feel stupid. I feel depressed.
Depression is hard. We don’t talk about it enough. It’s a real thing, and it’s a real problem. Lots of people go through difficult times in their life. They need our help. But some people struggle with depression for years. They may consider suicide as a way out, especially when there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. When someone feels sad enough to end their existence, they’ve got it bad.
Some people publicize their suffering. That’s easier to detect. Jump on those obvious opportunities to help. If someone is constantly broadcasting how difficult their life is, put aside your judgmental tendencies, your “Ohmygoodness, quit complaining”s, and serve them. Reach out. They may not realize it, but they need you. And guess what? You may not realize it, but you need them too. We were made to serve.
Sometimes, though, depressed individuals hide it. Forcing a smile is a developed skill. If you want to help these guys, you have to go deeper than the surface. Masked depressives tend to become reclusive during difficult times. Instead of announcing their troubles to the world, they stay in bed all day. They avoid public places. When they do come out into the open, they keep their heads down, shoulders slumped, and eyes empty. While broadcasting depressives tend to be feeling extreme anger or sorrow, masked depressives feel nothing. They are empty of all emotion. Their life feels pointless. These are the depressed that slowly sink deeper and deeper into the pit of despair without anyone’s notice. This is dangerous.
If you know someone that’s been slowly withdrawing, PULL THEM BACK. Be their friend. Ask them how they are. Don’t accept “fine” as an answer. Ask them about school, sports, music, movies, anything. Find what subject gets the most positive reaction (or any reaction), and focus on that. Check up on them. Send them texts saying how thankful you are for them. Invite them to lunch. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in our own personal bubbles; we begin to lose sight of the people that really need our attention.
Sometimes people you never expect to have trouble with depression are struggling. Maybe it’s the popular girl that secretly feels lonely, in need of a real relationship. Maybe it’s the athletic guy that keeps his bad relationship with his parents classified. They need support. They need you.
Maybe it’s the girl that everyone thinks is on top of things. She’s got good grades, good parents, and decently good looks. But she starts to become distant. It may seem like she’s a snob, but she really feels lonely. When people think you’re perfect, they hold you to an unattainable standard. She feels like a display. That’s a lot of pressure. Her grades start to slip. She stops going out. She starts to feel that all her relationships are cold and unnatural. She stops smiling at strangers. She stops encouraging little girls at church. She stops participating in class. She stops putting on makeup. She stops getting out of bed. She stops feeling. She stops living.
That was me. Everything in that paragraph was me. People are surprised when I tell them I suffer with depression, but I do. Some days are fine. When the sun is out, and I’ve got something to look forward to, everything’s okay. But when it’s overcast, when it’s stressful, when I mess up, when I feel lonely, I’m there again.
It’s hard to explain, but I’ll try. Imagine floating in a void. There’s glass around you. Everyone moves on with their everyday lives, but you’re stuck. Breaking out never occurs to you. This is just the way it is. You stay there until someone notices and breaks down the walls. Depending on who’s around, you can be stuck for a very long time.
Thankfully, I had God. He saved me. Confession time. Don’t freak out, but I considered suicide. Twice. I’m totally over it now, but at the time those feelings were real. Very real. Thankfully both times I got so scared I immediately snapped out of it. How could I do that to my family? Most of all, how could I throw away the life God had given me? Sure, it felt totally worthless, but He must have a plan for me.
If I considered death – me, Hannah Beckley, the girl that lives the most blessed life on the planet – then who else does? Many people live without God in their lives. Bring Him to them.
In my case, God worked through someone. My mom. She knew what I was going through. She knew what to say, what to do. There is no way I can put to words how thankful I am for her. She doesn’t know it, but she saved my life.
God works through people. We can all help in different ways. We can all sympathize. But some of us can help empathize. Some of us know how it feels. To those of you that have had similar experiences as me, don’t hide it. It’s embarrassing, but look at yourself now. You pulled through it. With help you pulled through it. Others need that help. Don’t be selfish. Take a leap of faith, knowing that your temporarily bruised pride may help someone get through a life threatening situation.
I guess my point through all of this is HELP. Help everyone. Help the weak, help the strong. Everyone has difficulties. Most people don’t have a mom like mine. Make sure they have someone. Be their someone. Be the person God can work through. Help.
Now depression is just an example. I personally have experienced depression, so I can help others going through the same thing. But replace depression with something else. No matter what it is, someone else is going through it, and they need to know they’re not the only one. Help.
“Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
Philippians 2:1-4
Help.
Apparently I’m seen as a leader. As confident. As independent. I’ve been told I’m pretty. I’ve been told I’m talented. I’ve been told I’m funny. I’ve been told I’m smart. I’ve been told I’m wonderful. But I’m here to tell you there are days where I feel worthless. I feel lonely. I feel ugly. I feel stupid. I feel depressed.
Depression is hard. We don’t talk about it enough. It’s a real thing, and it’s a real problem. Lots of people go through difficult times in their life. They need our help. But some people struggle with depression for years. They may consider suicide as a way out, especially when there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. When someone feels sad enough to end their existence, they’ve got it bad.
Some people publicize their suffering. That’s easier to detect. Jump on those obvious opportunities to help. If someone is constantly broadcasting how difficult their life is, put aside your judgmental tendencies, your “Ohmygoodness, quit complaining”s, and serve them. Reach out. They may not realize it, but they need you. And guess what? You may not realize it, but you need them too. We were made to serve.
Sometimes, though, depressed individuals hide it. Forcing a smile is a developed skill. If you want to help these guys, you have to go deeper than the surface. Masked depressives tend to become reclusive during difficult times. Instead of announcing their troubles to the world, they stay in bed all day. They avoid public places. When they do come out into the open, they keep their heads down, shoulders slumped, and eyes empty. While broadcasting depressives tend to be feeling extreme anger or sorrow, masked depressives feel nothing. They are empty of all emotion. Their life feels pointless. These are the depressed that slowly sink deeper and deeper into the pit of despair without anyone’s notice. This is dangerous.
If you know someone that’s been slowly withdrawing, PULL THEM BACK. Be their friend. Ask them how they are. Don’t accept “fine” as an answer. Ask them about school, sports, music, movies, anything. Find what subject gets the most positive reaction (or any reaction), and focus on that. Check up on them. Send them texts saying how thankful you are for them. Invite them to lunch. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in our own personal bubbles; we begin to lose sight of the people that really need our attention.
Sometimes people you never expect to have trouble with depression are struggling. Maybe it’s the popular girl that secretly feels lonely, in need of a real relationship. Maybe it’s the athletic guy that keeps his bad relationship with his parents classified. They need support. They need you.
Maybe it’s the girl that everyone thinks is on top of things. She’s got good grades, good parents, and decently good looks. But she starts to become distant. It may seem like she’s a snob, but she really feels lonely. When people think you’re perfect, they hold you to an unattainable standard. She feels like a display. That’s a lot of pressure. Her grades start to slip. She stops going out. She starts to feel that all her relationships are cold and unnatural. She stops smiling at strangers. She stops encouraging little girls at church. She stops participating in class. She stops putting on makeup. She stops getting out of bed. She stops feeling. She stops living.
That was me. Everything in that paragraph was me. People are surprised when I tell them I suffer with depression, but I do. Some days are fine. When the sun is out, and I’ve got something to look forward to, everything’s okay. But when it’s overcast, when it’s stressful, when I mess up, when I feel lonely, I’m there again.
It’s hard to explain, but I’ll try. Imagine floating in a void. There’s glass around you. Everyone moves on with their everyday lives, but you’re stuck. Breaking out never occurs to you. This is just the way it is. You stay there until someone notices and breaks down the walls. Depending on who’s around, you can be stuck for a very long time.
Thankfully, I had God. He saved me. Confession time. Don’t freak out, but I considered suicide. Twice. I’m totally over it now, but at the time those feelings were real. Very real. Thankfully both times I got so scared I immediately snapped out of it. How could I do that to my family? Most of all, how could I throw away the life God had given me? Sure, it felt totally worthless, but He must have a plan for me.
If I considered death – me, Hannah Beckley, the girl that lives the most blessed life on the planet – then who else does? Many people live without God in their lives. Bring Him to them.
In my case, God worked through someone. My mom. She knew what I was going through. She knew what to say, what to do. There is no way I can put to words how thankful I am for her. She doesn’t know it, but she saved my life.
God works through people. We can all help in different ways. We can all sympathize. But some of us can help empathize. Some of us know how it feels. To those of you that have had similar experiences as me, don’t hide it. It’s embarrassing, but look at yourself now. You pulled through it. With help you pulled through it. Others need that help. Don’t be selfish. Take a leap of faith, knowing that your temporarily bruised pride may help someone get through a life threatening situation.
I guess my point through all of this is HELP. Help everyone. Help the weak, help the strong. Everyone has difficulties. Most people don’t have a mom like mine. Make sure they have someone. Be their someone. Be the person God can work through. Help.
Now depression is just an example. I personally have experienced depression, so I can help others going through the same thing. But replace depression with something else. No matter what it is, someone else is going through it, and they need to know they’re not the only one. Help.
“Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
Philippians 2:1-4
Help.
And thanks for the encouragement. While I don't suffer from depression, I know some people who do, and hopefully this will help me to help them. I will certainly need to learn to be more empathetic, since that is not a naturally strong trait with me.
Have a beautiful hymn to help encourage you:
Again, thank you for sharing. You're an encouragement to get out there into other peoples lives and get busy being nosy in a very loving way.:) Blessings to you. And Happy Birthday!