Things I Never Expected

I never expected to be pregnant for 41 weeks, or that I would even have to consider being induced. I never expected that once I went into labor, it would be 26 hours before I met my son. I never expected to become a completely different person inside my head in order to deal with the intensity of those 26 hours. I never expected James to be the rock in the delivery room, the cool-headed steady-handed pillar that was exactly what I needed. I knew he would help me out, but he absolutely carried me through at times, saying exactly what I needed to hear, and doing exactly what would help me feel better. I never expected I could love him in the way that I did after going through labor and delivery together. I never expected that the whole experience would be as physically intense and exhausting for him as it was for me. He was in the trenches with me.

I never expected that my baby would be born looking at me, and that in that moment the only thing in the world was that face. My son's face. I never expected Griffon would suck his thumb almost immediately after being born, or that he would snuggle so perfectly against me. I never expected that once I was holding and looking at my son, absolutely nothing else would matter, and that the medical staff could do whatever needed to be done and it wouldn't bother me.

I never expected Griffon would be even more beautiful and perfect than I imagined he could be. I never knew he would have so many different expressions, and that I would soon learn what his cries meant and what I needed to do for him. I never expected to change SO MANY diapers the first week. I never expected him to wear Newborn sized clothes, and was thankful for the ones Whitney sent to me after Noah outgrew them. I never expected the first two weeks of Griffon's life to fly by, or that it would seem like he has been with us so much longer.

I never expected to love like this.