Ernest T. Bass

at 02/18/08 9:25PM
My absolute favorite character on Andy Griffith. He is played by Howard Morris and only appears in about 6 episodes. My favorite one being "The Education of Ernest T. Bass". Here's some of his greatest memorable quotes:

Ernest: Howdy do to you and you! It's me, it's me, it's Ernest T!

Andy: Now, here, here is a map of the United States.
Ernest T.: United States.
Andy: That's right. Now the United States is bounded on the north by Canada, on the south by Mexico, on the east by the Atlantic Ocean and on the west by, uh, would, uh, you happen to know that?
Ernest T.: (thinks) Old Man Kelsey's woods.
Andy: No. All the way to the edge – big body of water.
Ernest T.: Old Man Kelsey's crick.
Andy: Ocean.
Ernest T.: Old Man Kelsey's ocean!
Andy: Pacific Ocean.
Ernest T.: Pacific Ocean.
Andy: Very good, very good.
Ernest T.: Yeah, I sure know my boundaries good, don't I?
Andy: You sure do.
Ernest T.: Just as long as they don't change ‘em ‘fore I take my test.

Helen: Allright. "The possum hid under the rock." Now, who can break this down for me and point out the preposition, the object, the subject and the verb?
Ernest T.: Why don't we break down that rock, find out what that posstum's doin' in under there?
Helen: Mr. Bass, we'll get to you in a minute. (To Sharon McCall) Sharon.
Ernest T.: Ain't no little girl gonna tell you nothin' ‘bout a posstum under a rock. If you wanna really find out ‘bout a posstum under a rock, you find a boy with dirt under his fingernails. You find a boy with dirt under his fingernails, you'll find yourself a boy that's been rootin' under a rock for a posstum.

Ernest T.: No hunt. Beware. Open and closed. No credit.

Ernest T.: I don't chew my cabbage twice. And you ain't heard the last of Ernest T. Bass!

Ernest T.: If I'd seen you coming, I'd have known what to do. I'd have rais'd both arms and woved at you!

Ernest T.:If a duck stood still you could catch him by the bill.

Ernest T: I ain't talkin'. I ain't talkin'. The more you're askin' the more I'm balkin'.

Army Doctor: Say, "Ah".
Ernest T. Bass: (short) Ah.
Army Doctor: Uh, could you stretch that out a little for me?
Ernest T. Bass: Aaaaaaaaaah.
(Doctor examines Ernest T.'s throat; starts to examine Ernest T.'s ear)
Ernest T. Bass: Aaaaaaah.
Army Doctor: Uh, no, no. That was just for the throat.
Ernest T. Bass: Oh. What do you want me to say for the ears?
Army Doctor: Hush!
Ernest T. Bass: Huuuuuuuuush.

Hehe, I love Ernest T. Bass!

deborah.
  • badaim
    I love him too! I also love Gomer Pyle! Have you ever seen Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C? It's crazy funny! We need more shows like that today!
    by badaim at 02/19/08 5:05PM
  • badaim
    (sighs)Well I guess I'll meet him if I have to. J/k! I can't wait to finally meet him in person. And I'm sure I'll approve! :)
    by badaim at 02/19/08 5:07PM
  • franky_g
    He sounds like a hick, but I guess that's the point.
    by franky_g at 02/19/08 10:08PM
  • franky_g
    I've seen Andy Griffith, but it's been so long I can't remember all the characters.
    by franky_g at 02/20/08 12:21PM
  • jeduthun
    heyhey!! i had a good time last night too!! i made two new posts just now before i went to class, you should check em out and make a comment!! :-P
    by jeduthun at 02/20/08 12:44PM
  • lil_whit
    haha. yeah i kinda do. :] sometimes its great and others i really wish i had responsible parents. :P but how are you doing girl miss ya.
    by lil_whit at 02/20/08 4:04PM
  • jeduthun
    heyhey!! that is our song! what do you know?!
    by jeduthun at 02/20/08 9:18PM
  • ghostlady
    I'm doing really good! How are you?
    by ghostlady at 02/20/08 11:38PM
  • twilight
    that's sounds awesome! ^_^ i loved ghost rider. i've yet to see 'legend' though.

    i really liked the movie. ^_^ though i wish it had stuck to the books more.

    thanks! i'm glad you did too!
    by twilight at 02/21/08 11:19AM
  • jeduthun
    you were the favorite girl that i watched the game with silly!! :-)
    by jeduthun at 02/21/08 12:42PM
  • harrisoa_09
    Im doing pretty good. how are you? i havnt talked to you in forever.
    by harrisoa_09 at 02/21/08 1:33PM
  • badaim
    Awww! I love you girl! Your the amazing one! Is he ready to meet me? I can be pretty intimidating you know. lol! :)
    by badaim at 02/21/08 3:30PM
  • badaim
    I'm 5.5". Not super short but not that tall either, when compared to my bros. And a certain younger one likes to rub it in!
    by badaim at 02/22/08 3:27PM
  • badaim
    And you might wanna rethink the Luke Jones thing. :)
    by badaim at 02/22/08 3:28PM
  • jesusfreak
    yeah. i love ernest t. too. i love andy griffith in general though. how are you doing? i didnt know you'd changed your name on here.
    by jesusfreak at 02/23/08 4:37PM
  • badaim
    Your forgetting I have 4 brothers! lol!
    by badaim at 02/27/08 2:54PM
  • zaphenath
    hey coooool... i get a last name! ^_^ ten points to anyone who can pronounce it correctly! ^_~
    by zaphenath at 02/28/08 7:50AM