Though I'm sure most of you have noticed by now, I think I should admit it anyway: I have a problem. My problem is I don't post enough. I am always making excuses to myself like "I'm too tired," or "what is the point of stretching a blog into thirty sentences about boring my life is?" or "Look! the TV's on," or "my grammar is horrible and do I really want to run the risk of people correcting me and realizing I'm not perfect?" and usually by the time I get to the end of one of those thoughts ADD kicks in and I forget what I was trying to decide. Well, the point is I would like to apologize to all the people who keep checking my blog and there is never anything new. I would also like to apologize for that beauty of a run-on two sentences ago.

I neglected to mention it earlier, but for those of you who didn't know: I finally joined Pleonast! Go Ace!

I know this looks like a long read but it's funny. This is a paper I wrote for school about how I jumped out of a window. Since a lot of people of people wanted me to tell the story, I decided to post it in my blog. To let you know, I did exaggerate a few smaller details to help it fit into my English teacher's requirements, but the story is essentially unchanged, although the last paragraph does not necessarily express my real opinions. Doo-doo-dooo: the names have been changed very slightly to protect the innocent and some of the less innocent.




My day had started off slowly. During my first two classes, my teachers had given me long grueling assignments and I had had no social interaction with any of my friends so far that day. I was going crazy and it wasn't helping that the cereal I had eaten for breakfast was almost pure sugar. So, about to explode with hyperactive energy, I went to my third period French class.

As I walked into my third period class, I immediately noticed that our regular French teacher, Mr. Lewaldo, wasn't at his desk. In his place was a woman who looked as though she was in her late twenties, had jet black hair and seemed to be completely engrossed in what appeared to be, judging by the cover, a romance novel. Since we had a substitute teacher, the seating chart that kept my friends and me separated would not be enforced. I could finally talk to people and release some of the energy that had built up inside me. I saw my friend Ben sitting in the back of the room in front of the window, and I went and sat in the desk next to his. After I sat down, another friend of mine, Cory, walked in the class and sat in the desk in front of me.

The tardy bell rang signaling the beginning of class. The substitute put aside her book and addressed the class, "Hello, my name is Ms. Kiljoy. Your teacher left you an assignment that is due at the end of class. Would anyone like to pass it out while I take attendance?" A girl in the front row, who had already been branded as an over achiever, got the papers from Ms. Kiljoy and began passing them out. After I looked at the assignment I nearly cried. It was an entire page written in French with the heading: "Translate and turn in at end of class."

"I really don..t want to do this assignment," I said. "Me neither," Ben agreed, "And it's really hot in here." For the first time I noticed that the room was uncomfortably warm, which wasn't entirely unusual considering that the French class was in the oldest building at the school and often had problems with the air-conditioning. I took off my jacket and, looking around the room, I noticed that several of the other students had already taken off theirs.

Cory, voicing all our thoughts, said, "Ms. Kiljoy, it's really hot in here; can we open the window?" After Ms. Kiljoy consented to our opening the window, Cory unlatched and opened the window. The window began at the ground, was about two and a half feet tall by three feet wide, and was situated on the back wall, right between Ben and me.

Being in such close proximity to the window, my friends and I immediately noticed that the outside air was much cooler, but it was not effectively cooling the classroom. "Hey," Ben said to me, "I dare you to jump out the window!" "What? Seriously?" I was astounded at the idea, but I was also interested, so I replied, "Cory, why don't you jump out the window? You're the trouble maker." Cory replied, "You're crazy; you do it!" "Yeah," Ben said, "Just do it!"

I wasn't sure whether they were being serious, but I began thinking about it. This would be an incredibly funny story to recap at our class reunion or to tell to my grandchildren. It would also be a funny story to tell later that day.

"Block the teacher's view," I said. "You're actually going to do it?" Ben asked. "My mind is made up," I said with an air of nobility, "It's too late to turn back now." So, after Ben and Cory moved into a position where no one could see the window from the front of the room, I struggled my way through the low-to-the-ground window.

After I emerged outside, I was amazed. The air was so much cooler and less stuffy. I looked around at all the green grass, the flowers, and the sunlight that reflected off the windows of the building across from me. Not being a person who normally broke the rules, I did not know what to do then. I climbed back through the window into the hot stuffy classroom and sat back down in my seat. As I was about to tell my friends about the amazing experience I had just had, the teacher from the classroom right next to ours came in and began yelling.

"A teacher from across the courtyard just saw someone climb out the window. Now who was it?" He looked around the room, and his eyes landed on Cory, who was known for getting into trouble, and he noticed his proximity to the window. He began yelling accusations at Cory, assuming that he had probably done it. "It was you, wasn't it?!" "No, it wasn't me," Cory responded. The intimidating teacher yelled back, "Then who did it?!" "I don't know," Cory replied defensively. The teacher went, whispered fervently with the substitute, and then left.

I spent the rest of my day in complete fear. I began sweating every time a note was given to a teacher. The next day, my note finally came, and I went to the office. After making me sit through a long lecture, the principal gave me three days of In School Suspension, though I had feared a much stricter punishment.

After this experience I learned that you should strongly consider the consequences of anything you plan on doing before acting on it. Many things people do are not worth the problems they cause, and they should probably never be done in the first place. You should always look before you leap, especially out a window.