...That's right! Absolutely no clue! I've been off here so long that all the people I know on this blogspot have moved on to bigger and better things. I don't know what to say except "Is anyone still loyal to this thing?" I know I haven't been.
Enough of that though. I figure that since I'm on here I might as well say something. What's new? Oh yes, I now work in a mental health facility. Loads of fun and laughs I can assure you. I'm getting married in just under two months. My LAST day of classes ever was today with the big graduation ceremony taking place on the 15th of May...What else?...ummm...My house was robbed so I got a dog (Oh! Also forgot to mention I'm living in my own house now!) a big beautiful Great Pyrenees puppy named Josie. She's very sweet so I guess I'll post about her...
Not too long ago Jennie and I were planting a small plot of flowers. When we finished planting the flowers we watered them all while constantly being distracted by my mischevous dog, Josie. Jennie and I decided it was time for a break so we went inside and drank something before preparing to leave for Jennie's parents' house. We were about out of the door and Josie comes bounding up with her white coat marred with dark red mud spattered all over her paws and muzzle. My immediate exclamation was, "What in the world have you been doing?!" Thing was, I knew exactly what she had been doing. Jennie and I ran to our freshly planted flowers to see a sizeable muddy mess. I looked down at Josie who had just pranced behind us on our way to the flower bed. "What'chall doin'?" seemed to be her query as she slightly cocked her head to one side in that curiously cute way that puppies do. "Josie! Bad dog!" I exclaimed. Josie didn't have to understand English to know I was displeased; she quickly trotted away with her tail tucked between her legs and was avoidant as we left the premises. The flowers are okay, in case you were wondering; they are just buttercups.
The following two stories are works that I submitted for the same Advanced Composition class last year with a few modifications to update them so they will make more sense. The following events actually happened. Feel free to comment on the quality of lack thereof.
On Labor Day last year I spent the morning with my future father-in-law, Tim, and future brother-in-law, Breck. We went fishing. It was a pleasantly cool, cloudless morning at five a.m. when I rolled out of the springy, twin size bunk bed I share with Breck whenever I go to my fiancée’s house for the weekend. He stayed on the top bunk and I on the bottom. I went downstairs to a piece of warm cheese toast and cold cereal. I stared into space for a few minutes with a glazed look on my face as I waited for Breck to come downstairs. Tim was already wide awake and was bustling about the kitchen getting him and Breck breakfast so that we can get on the road to the fishing spot. After making a stop to renew our fishing licenses at a local gas station on Elk River, we put the boat that Tim had borrowed from his father in the water on Elk River and we shoved off. After traveling along the coastline for several minutes, probably forty-five minutes to an hour, we fished all along the way, we settled on a spot near the mouth of a creek. By the time we reached the spot, Tim had already caught a striped bass and Break caught a bream, a variety of small-mouth bass. The striped bass was too small to keep but it was a beautiful fish nonetheless. We kept the bream in a wire basket that we hung off the side of the boat. When we finally reached a good spot we noticed that we never had to adjust our position due to wind or flow of the river. Upon investigating we discovered that we were caught on a log that was completely submerged by the river. We spent the next several minutes trying to figure out how to get ourselves unstuck. I remember thinking to myself while we were trying to get off that log how we were trapped without ever knowing it.
I often marvel at the messes people get themselves into without ever realizing it. I am even more amazed at how quickly, and surprisingly smoothly, the aforementioned people think of solutions to a problem and how they will do anything and everything using whoever and whatever to get out of trouble. For instance, at one in the morning I caught a female stranger wandering the hallway in Rivers Hall one evening after my adventure on Elk River. At the time I was a Resident Assistant and one of my many duties was to enforce the Residence Life policies and procedures and according to the Student Handbook, all guests must be escorted in the building at all times. This young lady had no escort.
I said, “Ma’am, who is your escort?”
“What?” she replied with a perplexed look on her face.
“Who is your escort?” I repeated.
“Um…I don’t know his name,” she replied.
“Well, why is he not with you?” I asked.
“He passed out in his room and I was on my way out.”
I demanded, “Take me to his room.” We walked all the way around the hall. The floors in Rivers Hall go all the way around in a rectangle. After leading me around the entire floor she finally stopped at an open room.
“That’s him,” she said. There was a man in the room who was quite sober and was getting ready for bed.
“Excuse me, sir. Is this woman your guest?” I was suspicious of this woman because I knew from how sober this guy was that she had lied to me once already.
“Huh?” said he.
The woman stared at him and said, “You have to escort me down.”
“Uh, alright,” he replied. It was not until they got on the elevator and left before I realized that he could not have been her escort but I was tired and tried going back to bed. A few moments later the man came and knocked on my door. I answered the door.
“I had no idea who that woman was,” he said.
“Then why did you escort her down? I assumed that since you took her down she was your guest.”
“Because I was just being nice. I didn’t know she wasn’t supposed to be in here.”
“Well, if you see her again, come get me or call Public Safety because she can’t be in here by herself.”
“Okay.” He went back to his room.
That woman ended up tricking me and taking advantage of that poor guy and she slipped through my fingers. I am still kicking myself in the rump for being so stupid.
Some people are better at thinking on the spot than others. I am not one of those people. I prefer having uncomfortable conversations mapped out to a formula to that I can go about my business quickly. Others, like that stranger from that morning, are crafty and will lie through their teeth to save their own hides. How can a society function with people like this? The answer: trust. Trust is something that can get people into a lot of trouble just like it can get you out of a lot of trouble. I hate that. I want trust to be strictly a good thing in both regards.
Back to my first story. We got ourselves unstuck, needless to say because I was able to type this up later. Although I did not catch anything on that fishing trip, I look back on the things that transpired on the River and the incident in Rivers Hall and marvel at the similarity of the two completely separate events.
The Fish That Got Away: Part 2: The Catching of the Fish
I mentioned a situation where a stranger who entered Rivers Hall against regulations escaped without prosecution and got an unsuspecting gentleman to help her when she was in trouble thus nearly getting him in trouble for having a female guest after hours. The following narrative takes place two months after the first incident with the same woman.
I was having an excellent day. I was done with class for the day, nothing due tomorrow. Nothing could go wrong. At least I did not think so. I left my room to go to the bathroom in Rivers Hall when I see a familiar face: the stranger from earlier in the semester. And guess what? She was without an escort. AGAIN.
I ask her, “Ma’am. Do you have an escort?” She stares at me with a horridly surprised look on her face; the kind of look that says, “Oh, crud. Not again.”
She hesitated before answering, “Mailaun!” Mailaun did not come (Mailaun, by the way, is the gentleman she tricked into taking her downstairs the last time this happened). She suddenly started walking towards Mailaun’s room but he was not in there.
“Gotcha,” I thought to myself. “There’s no way you can talk your way out of this one, you louse.” I was beside myself with glee that I had caught her this time.
“He was just here,” she said. Did she honestly think I was that stupid? I guess so.
“Either way, I’m going to have to escort you out of the building myself, ma’am.”
“Whatever.” She was trying to play it cool. I could tell. On the elevator ride down to the ground floor I started to interrogate her.
“Do you go to school here?” I asked.
“Yes,” she replied.
“Do you live on campus?”
“Well, I remember the last time you did this. I ALSO remember telling you that you couldn’t be in this building without an escort and yet here we are. Again.”
“But I was with Mailaun.” She was sticking to her story.
We reached the ground floor and I took her over to the front desk and explained to her the visitation policies. After giving about a five minute speech about visitation, it was time to cut to the chase.
“Just to let you know. You will be written up for this offense and you will be put through the judicial system,” I explained.
“Do you have your Mane Card?” (I needed to copy down her information so I could write her up).
“No.” Ooh. Strike one.
“Do you have any form of identification on you?”
“No. I must have left it at home.” Ouch. Strike two. If I did not act fast she was going to get away again. Here comes the good part.
“Well, since you don’t have any I.D. I’ll just have to call Public Safety to escort you off the premises.” I proceeded to walk over to the phone behind the front desk.
“Wait! Wait!” The stranger said abruptly, “I have my driver’s license right here.” Just like magic she has her driver’s license. Go figure.
I proceeded to write down all the information I needed to write her up. The only thing that could have made this day even better would be if something happened to make her look more like a fool.
Just then, Mailaun walks up. Wish granted.
I ask Mailaun, “Hey, Mailaun. Where have you been?”
“I just got back from class. Why? Am I in trouble or something?”
I looked at the stranger who was trying her best to play it cool. It was not working very well. “No, you’re not in trouble. Just asking.” Mailaun shrugged his shoulders and got on the elevator to go up to his room. “You were with Mailaun, huh?” It felt good to rub it in.
The stranger remained silent. She knew she was caught and she could not refute it.
I ended up writing her up with four violations. I do not think she will be coming back anytime soon. Score!
The following is a paper that I wrote for Advanced Composition last semester. Tell me what you think.
The other day I was watching a documentary on hippos on Animal Planet and it reminded me of an experience I had a couple of weeks before. In the span of one week or so, I got an in –depth view of a wild animal known to all but a mystery to most: the gaming nerd. There are many different types of nerd much like the different types of lemurs in Madagascar but I will only focus on three different types.
First, there is Nerdicus gregarious. This particular specie of nerd is content to buy various gaming supplies such as video games and roleplaying games. They tend to nest in one area and only gravitate toward their own. Within its own territory, the Nerdicus gregarious feels most comfortable although some members of the specie have been known to attract a mate in rare cases. In such cases, some Nerdicus gregarious begin to evolve into a different creature all together. This specie describes me to a degree. I once practiced the ways of Nerdicus gregarious until it I myself attracted a mate. Since then, my gaming practices have decreased. However, a friend of mine, Levi, still exhibits the characteristics of a Nerdicus gregarious in that he still games extensively. My research on this specimen is still going on.
Second, there is the Nerdicus barbarous. This specie resembles its gregarious cousin except that the Nerdicus barbarous is extremely territorial and will challenge other members of its specie to battles of insults and wit to establish dominance. This species can sometimes cohabitate with its brethren or with other species of the Nerdicus genus. I was able to witness the behavior of this specie first hand during a board game night in Rivers Hall, the all male residence hall at UNA. I played Clue with three gentlemen who insisted on trumping each other with words and what they thought was wit. Here’s what I could piece together from their grunting:
“Hey, Idiot! You can’t do that! Let me see the rulebook!”
“No way, Buttmunch! You totally can to that! See? Says so right here. Boo-yah!”
And so on.
When observing this particular specie you have to be very careful to steer clear of some conversations and supply completely objective opinions in arguments to avoid the wrath of these creatures.
Finally, there is Nerdicus nomadic which is a very interesting specie in that it shares characteristics with both the gregarious and barbaric species. The main difference that separates them from the rest of the genus is its ability to travel great distances to be with others of its kind. While some believe this to be a mating ritual, it more accurately describes a need to gather to exchange customs and practices and to establish dominance. For example, my brother, Pete, has been observing this specie very closely for several months recording their behavior and becoming one with the herd. This particular herd of Nerdicus nomadic likes to play a MechWarrior miniatures game and is very involved with going to conferences to play this miniatures game.
A thorough study of this diverse genus can be a fun hobby as well as help one to understand the behaviors of different people.
I’ve decided that when I have children and they get old enough to do homework I will teach them to fear the homework hippo. The homework hippo is a huge hippo that roams the streets questing for unattended homework to eat. When children leave their homework out and don’t pack it away to give to their teacher then the homework hippo will sneak in and eat their homework. I’ll even make up a little story to go along with this fantastical character. It will go something like this:
Beware of the homework hippo
He loves the taste of an essay.
His jaws are wide and nimble his stride
When he comes to take it away.
He’ll open wide his gaping maw
To slurp those math problems down
To dash the dreams of poor little Paul
Who wants a sticker crown.
Victims of the hippo’s homework spree
Cry to their teachers, “It wasn’t me!
“The hippo came to my home last night
“And ate my homework out of sight!”
The teachers’ reply, sad to say,
Is, “Not my problem. Go away.
“Go back to your seat, little Paul,
“And be quiet; or go sit in the hall.”
So little Paul goes and sits
And tries to hold back his crying fit.
“Stupid hippo,” he thinks to himself,
“My math was checked by the homework elf.”
The homework elf is a different story for a different time. It’s sad that the hippo ate Paul’s homework but he shouldn’t have left it out for him to eat. Serves him right.
I know I haven’t posted in a while so here’s a word of the day:
RapscallionRap*scal"lion\, n. A rascal; a good-for-nothing fellow. [Colloq.] --Howitt.
I had a small project last night at work that I did in a few minutes that was really fun. I made a finger ring made of rings. Yes, it sounds redundant but I did it. I have no pictures of it yet but it is really cool looking. We had lemon squares at Jennie and Leisa's apartment last night (they were really delicious) and we played a board game called Imaginiff
. Fun times were had by all. In other news, I recently returned from a vacation to the Smokey Mountains with Jennie's family. I had a lot of fun and I'm sure that Jennie will post pictures soon.
Wow, I'm boring. I don't have any pictures to show for my trip or my other exploits. Maybe I should get a camera or maybe someone
could get me one for Christmas or my birthday. Just throwing that out there.
Anyway, back to the vacation. I had a lot of fun and I would like to go back to do it again. The mountain air and wildlife was facinating. I think the only thing I didn't like about the trip was the traffic in Gatlinburg and the sheer number of people going here and there all over the place. I felt a little claustrophobic. I really enjoyed hiking and walking in the woods and next to the streams I felt secluded from the world. It was tranquility at its peak.
Today's word of the day:
\gam-EEN; GAM-een\, noun:
1. A girl who wanders about the streets; an urchin.
2. A playfully mischievous girl or young woman.