I dreamed that there was this fireman's pole in my house. When I went to investigate the fireman's pole my pitbulls came and pranced circles around it. For a while I joined them in their merriment until I decided to climb up the pole. When I reached the top, the pole turned into a spiral staircase that led back down. I thought to myself, "I wish that pole turned into stairs sooner!" Then my pitbulls followed me up the staircase and we came to a door. All four dogs went through the door without opening it. They just passed right through it. I tried to follow suite but the door would not let me pass. I tried pushing and pulling on the door futilly until I realized that the door had grown a door knob. I turned the knob and went through the door myself. On the other side there was a set of stadium bleachers (why are they called "bleacher"?) I climbed to the very top where I was pushed off the edge by some unknown force. I fell but did not wake up before hitting bottom. I landed on the ground but was unhurt. I thought, "Wow! That was fun!" so I ran back up the bleachers and jumped off of my own accord. Again, I hit the bottom and was uninjured but I was bored of that so I tried to find my way back to the fireman's pole. I found it but it wasn't the same pole that I had climbed up. This pole was different in that it was striped like a candy cane. I started to climb up this pole when my alarm clock woke me up.
...into some SHORTNIN BREAD!!! Hello, my adoring fans! So glad that you have patiently waited for me. I know that a lot of things have happened since I posted but don't worry. All will be made known in due time.
The other day I was out on my property making my rounds when Remus (pit bull #3) brought me the loveliest little gift -- a dead possum. How charming. I revived said possum with a little SHORTNIN BREAD!! Didn't you see it coming? Of course, if people did eat their SHORTNIN BREAD then I would talk telepathically with all of you like I do with the possum now. Well, I'm going to go now and eat some you-know-what (That's SHORTNIN BREAD for those of you in the dark).
