So, my best and I were reminiscing about our trip over seas the other day and I realized I haven't told most of you about it yet...sorry Jason this will just be a refresher for you! I also do this to see what I remember of the trip...if it gets a bit "wordy"....I apologize.
Sometime in February 2008:
My best friend Jason, my friend Stephen and I embarked on a journey that would take us across the pond and to great fortune...well, okay, not so much fortune, but it sounded nice. We left Huntsville on what can only be described as a biscuit can ready to pop on our way to Washington D.C. (taco neck anyone?) before we hopped on an ENORMOUS jet bus for our transatlantic flight to Frankfurt Germany. I saw my first German sunrise at 36,000 feet and even though it was through a small plane window it was breathtaking! We initially were going to have a four hour layover which we had intended to use sightseeing a bit, but due to delays we only had a couple of hours (I would learn throughout the trip that you should never need to be anywhere the day that you intend to leave). Seeing that it was about 7 o'clock in the morning Deutsche time I thought it would be great to get some authentic German breakfast, so after fighting my way through customs with my steel-toe boots and getting what would be the first of many (many) Euros from my bank account we hopped a train headed for the heart of Frankfurt. When we got out it was cold (like I like it) and sunny, and oddly devoid of anything German (aside from the people). Barak Obama's face was plastered all over everything and there was no authentic German food to be found...evidently Indian food has replaced all restaurants in Germany so far as we could tell (this would be a trend....I suppose this is why the spice trade was so important). Eventually we found a small cafe where they had fresh pastries and very unaccommodating seats. We had our food and realized we should start heading back, so we "Danced" the Frau and headed back to the station. Now, logic would tell you that the train that brought you from one direction, could in fact take you back where you came from....*rrrrrrrkkkkk* (logic train has now derailed)....alas due to trial and error we found this was not the case....did I tell you none of us speak German....or read German...or regularly use trains?....Luckily English is the best language and anyone who counts also speaks it, so we eventually got some help and made it back to the airport with mere moments to spare.
So I set up a bed for an older gentleman the other day....after having exchanged pleasantries I went into the other room with the caregiver and proceeded to get my paperwork done......eventually I asked for the diagnosis.....and in the thickest jamaican accent she replied..."uh...tub-er-cu-som-ting"
so, I went for a TB test today....results Friday.....
i'm not so sure you want a 2 year old in your apartment :P plus she's grouchy with a fever, so take your chances if you want to :P i don't know what will is doing this weekend but he might be able to come over tomorrow night or sunday night, or you and jason can come over instead. i'll tell will to call you...which means, you'll just have to give in and call him tonight or tomorrow afternoon if you want a definite answer lol
For all who don't know, in my job I essentially prolong life via oxygen and I occasionally have to check the equipment through which said oxygen is dispensed..........
Yesterday I called up a patient that I had seen once or twice before, but this visit would not be quite like the others. I called him up to see if I could come check his oxygen concentrator to make sure that it was working properly. Knowing that he was an old man, I let what he said next slide right off my back, thinking he was simply confused. He said "I have to take my pants off, but come on up"....And I just assumed he was confused thinking that he meant to say "I need to put my pants on, but come on up".....However, I got to the door, which was already opened for me and there, so frantically slung was a pair of blue jeans and to the left was the man who so recently occupied them. He was slouched over, was wearing two diamond stud earrings and had on a shirt and boxers (with no button!) and he said "come on in". So I just went about my work until he started asking questions. First he commented that I looked like I had lost some weight. "I don't know about all that, but thank you" I replied. But he kept on insisting that I had lost weight, which I responded to by saying "Well I trimmed my beard so maybe that had something to do with it....". "Ooooo son, you sure got that beard looking sharp" he said.
*Bleep (goes the gaydar)
At about this point he had begun to lounge on his bed watching me do my work. He then asked me if I was married. "No sir, I'm only 22 and I hardly have any time to look for a good GIRL right now" I said.
It was about this time that I noticed on the wall what looked to be a picture of him and his wife. Thus a wave of relief came over me and I just thought he was a quirky/weird old man.
Once my work was completed I had him sign the papers and as he was handing them back to me he asked again if I was married. "No sir" I said. And as sure as there were Depends in the corner he said this........"Well big boy, if you ever wanna take a walk on the wild side, let me know, cause I'LL TEAR IT UP!"
I fled like Joseph from Potifer's house.......except with my clothes on....and laughing hysterically!
Oh, and today I went to the Pompeii exhibit in Birmingham....go if you can
so, here's a couple of interesting quotes I've gotten since I've been at my current job.....I can't give the real names due to ....oh.....THE LAW, but I'll give them appropriate psuedonyms.
" I never did mean to kill no body" ~Crazy cat woman (There were actually bloody clothes in the floor at the time)
" Honey, put them papers down......you know you can't read" (said with utmost sincerity)- Gomer Pile
Alabama man: "hey man you want a beer?"
Me: No, thanks.....I'm on the job
Alabama man: "oh, I got ya.....well, how bout a beer and a mint?"
