I've been actively "using" Pleonast for a few months now, and I've figured a few things out.
1) Every time I post something, I get a lot of comments from women.
2) My wife is on Pleonast for a week and has a bazillion pleo friends. I'm on for a few years and I think I have six.
3) My wife likes to post...a lot.
4) Whenever I post to Pleonast, I'm about to go to sleep.
5) I have no idea what a Pleonast is.
6) It appears that mostly women use Pleonast.
7) I don't get the whole "groups" thing. Is it a bulletin board/discussion group thing or not?
8) Why doesn't this have its own little e-mail system?
9) I really like Nutter Butters.
1. women like to talk
2. your wife probably has lots of females on her friends list, see #1
3. see #1
4. sleep is good
5. I think a definition is on the main page
6. see #1
7. it's both, and there are lots of females in groups, see #1
8. it does have a messaging system but you can't see your sent messages
9. me too!
1. guys just read and only comment if they are really compelled to! see i was compelled.
2. My wife is on ALL THE TIME as you know.
3. See #2
4. i only post during lunch or when i need a break from work or when i am bored.
5. Don't know don't really care ... it is a fun word.
6. yeah guys just lurk.
7. I have a few groups they start off strong but then you see who is really interested in the subject as the group endures.
8. i already have to read too much email. private posts are a good substitute.
9. I remember liking them but it has been a while ... trip to the grocery store!
Hey there, Kenny! This is Stacy (Hoffman) Butler. Good to find you on here. Congratulations on your marriage to Katie and to the new baby! I just found that out. =-) Didn't realize you had been in Tampa... how long have you been down there? Guess I've been out of the loop, huh? =-)
For all those on the edge of your seats, we (finally) got the house. It's only about 250 square feet larger than our other house, with one more bedroom. We moved a little more than two and a half miles away, so we thought moving would be a little easier. For those of you already wagging your head, yes, we were wrong. We did decide to splurge and have professional movers get the big stuff like the piano and couch, but we commandeered the boxes. The nice thing about moving is you find out how much trash-ola you've got. You begin to see your life in little bits of memorabilia that (for me) are a little too hard to part with, and to my wife, are unfathomable why I'd keep. I have books that will never be read but were gifts from friends. I have photos with people whose names I don't remember. I have clothes that I will hopefully fit into again, but will be so outdated that it won't be worth salvaging. In short, I've got too much stuff. It's also funny how my wife and I coalesce in our abundance. I have approximately 35 pairs of socks. Katie has about that many pairs of shoes. I've got to hand it to Katie, though. After looking through her 17 handbags, she decided to keep just two Vera Bradley bags. Bravo. The shoes are still a sore spot, though.
Another sore spot has to do with the difference between substantive and decorative. Katie decided we needed a bowl with balls in it. This is not a real bowl, because we can't put cereal in it, and the balls aren't real balls because you can't bounce them, roll them or do anything else with them. They are decorative. Fake bowl, fake balls. Now this wouldn't bother me, except my wife wanted to put the fake bowl with the fake ceramic balls on my bookcase. Unfortunately to fit on my bookcase, I was going to have to sacrifice books. BOOKS! Knowledge! Important information! I was going to have to jettison valuable utterances so that she could have a few baubles. Well, thankfully we were able to work around that.
Still, this is a great exercise. Everyone should be required to move at least once every presidential administration. Anyway, I guess it's another one of those trite life lessons we learn from the bric-a-brac of life.
i agree with getting movers. We did it was awesome (considering my back is not so good and asking your friends with more back problems to help just makes you feel bad because they will help no matter what) Considering we have a marble table that is two pieces that combined weighs about 600 lbs. [End long ramblin' sentences] Our movers did a great job the only problem was a small scratch on the door frame into the office!!
Stuff: if you dont use it once a year. Sell it on Ebay or get it out of the house!
i think we still have a box somewhere from when we moved into this house 5 years ago. i should just tape it up and chunk it because obviously we've lived without it!
Take my advice and open the box. My father did exactly the same thing about 25 years ago, and the box ended up containing most of my sister's baby photos and memorabilia. Nothing we'd looked at in a year, but to this day my sister hasn't forgotten it.
No its not. I have my VB diaper bag, the backpack which is great for outings like theme parks, and then I have my bowler bag, which will accompany me to work. I need more.
I'm laughing hard at your "not real bowl cause you can't eat cereal out of it and not real balls cause u cant bounce them" comment! But word to the wise: Don't get between a woman and her shoes!
Congrads on the new home. I did laugh on the bowl comment also. When I came home to my extreme makeover we had a "bowl" with "balls" in it for decoration. Of course I already used the "bowl" for fruit! Needless to say the non bouncing balls are in another location now.
The military needs to take note of a new torture technique. It drags information out of its victims bit by bit, all the while leaving them confused, disoriented, and wondering exactly what will happen next. It stresses every relationship and is emotionally draining. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure they would consider it unethical because it definitely uses inhumane treatment. It's also what Katie and I have been through for the last 45 days. Yep, I'm talking about the mortgage process.
I want to help everyone through this process, so I've put down a few rules to remember when you go through yours. First of all, you will be dealing with some very nice people. Your mortgage person will be affable, completely understanding and will be in your corner. He/she will want you to qualify for the absolute most amount of money, will go out of his/her way to explain all the confusing stuff, and will generally never want to tell you no, and will apologize profusely if he/she has to. Lesson number one, your mortgage person is your friend.
Lesson number two, your friend is about to bug the snot out of you. Your friend is going to start asking you questions galore--many of them you don't know the answers to. Where do you live? Where did you live before that? Where did you live before that? Who was the landlord? Who was the landlord's brother? Who won the 1973 World Series? How much do you make? How much do your parents make? Is your dog currently employed? How much money do you make? Did you work in 2003? How much money do you make? Did you pay your taxes in 1994? If not, why not? Do you have the money for the down payment? What's your blood type? Do you think your parents would sign with you? How much money do you make? Do you have a credit card? How much do you owe on that credit card? Why aren't you making higher payments? What did you buy with that credit card? Did you really think it was wise to get those knives? Really? How much do you make, again? Does your spouse work? Do you they know who won the 1973 World Series? Are you going to eat the rest of that?
Lesson three, your life is nothing more than a game of connect the dots, and your friend doesn't know how to connect dots. Here's a real scenario from our mortgage.
"So, your wife was on maternity leave?"
"Yep, we had a beautiful baby boy. The maternity leave ends June 30."
"Oh, so you had a beautiful baby boy. When does her leave end?"
"Um...June 30."
"Okay, well does she go back to work on June 30?"
"Well, she gets a paycheck on July 1. Her classes will begin again on August 8, but she is a current employee of Hillsborough County Schools."
"So, this paperwork says her maternity leave ends on June 30, but will she go back to work on June 30?"
"Well, she's a teacher, so her classes will start up on August 8, but she's getting paid on the first of July."
"Okay, well this paperwork says she's an employee of Hillsborough County Schools, but can we get some piece of paper that says she's going back to work?"
"Well, she's a teacher. She's getting training this week. Her maternity leave ends on June 30. That means she's going back to work."
"I see here that she's a teacher. Is she going back to work on June 30."
"Yeah, you see, that whole part where I said she's a teacher means she's going to be teaching at the beginning of August, but she's getting paid now."
"So...I think what you're saying is your wife is going to be going back to work on June 30, can you give me a piece of paper that says that she's going back to work on June 30?"
"Um...she starts teaching in August. I can talk to the school board and see what they can do."
"Yeah, as long as she goes back to work on June 30."
Lesson four, whatever the piece of paper MUST say, it won't. If you need your employer to confirm your wife has brown hair, the paper will say, "Katie has brownish hair." Brownish won't work. It must say brown. Not brownish. "Can you get them to just say brown?" And for some mystical reason, your employer can't.
Lesson number five, your friend can't make the final decision. You see your friend isn't the underwriter. The underwriter is the person who actually makes the decision to give you money. Your friend is the person who is giving that person the paperwork. In business language, this is called a "middleman." Translated into English, it means "someone who has no power whatsoever." Your friend is helping you get a mortgage in the land of make believe. Wouldn't it be nice to have a house in make believe? How about a make believe mortgage? What happens is that your underwriter will take everything your friend just asked for, and ask for it again, and want all of it changed. So, did you just waste a bunch of time with your friend? Now that's a complicated question. Is time with a friend ever wasted? Especially when she was helping you buy a house in the land of make believe.
Lesson six, your closing date is also set in the land of make believe. On the TV series, "My First Home," the closing is always certain because it hits at about minute 26, right after the dramatic offer/counteroffer routine and before HGTV has wowed them with an expensive housewarming gift. In theory, the closing date will be set in stone after you've had your house offer accepted. It's a contract. In reality, you will be wondering when on earth you'll close because your underwriter wants to change everything. "Does your wife really have brownish hair?"
Lesson seven, nobody will understand. You and your friend will have had words. Harsh words. Frustrated words. Words that make you feel like dirt. Now that you've gone through the insanity of finding reams of paper that document every minute detail about your life and fighting with your friend about why they should understand that your employer's salary verification form IS the same thing as how much money you make at your employer, your friends, family, etc. will want to know where you are on your mortgage process. Remember how frustrated you were going through it with your friend? Well now you get to relive it by telling them about it. In detail. And you'll recognize what they have to say, too. "Well, isn't your employer's salary verification the same thing as how much money you make?" Why yes, yes it is. Why didn't I think of that?
Yes, my friends, the military needs to hear about this. It's that good.
In all seriousness, your realtor is the other guy in the trenches with you. We've been using Mike White, and I can't recommend him enough. Katie and I are "scheduled" to close on Wednesday after being told every hour today that we were closing today. Right there with us, Mike has given us a much more realistic picture. He's been great.
HA! Good stuff. Congrats on the new house. That is, if you got to keep your "scheduled" closing. I thought I was going to throw up the day I closed on a house by myself.
Okay, I know you've been wanting to do this, but you've just been waiting. I know you've meant to make an amazing contribution to me, my family, and our future. I know that this is something that you've got on a to do list and you've just been waiting to pounce on this. I know it. I'm psychic. So let me give you one more chance.
Those of you who have been following my Ph.D. phollies will know that I've GOT to get a TON of respondents to my survey. And now it's your turn.
Just click on amazing joy and you'll experience the nonstop excitement of 25-30 minutes of online survey fun. Plus, you'll be putting food in our children's mouths, and giving us a future that you always knew we needed and deserved. So go on. You know you wanna do it. You know you ought to do it.
To quote Nike
Just do it.
Somebody, please start the invitation song.
In case the link doesn't work, you can cut and paste http://tinyurl.com/6g2n2r in your browser.
Please omit the third verse from the invitation song.
No way! Is this the Kenny Embry that was the Poetry interp king? The very Kenny Embry whose laundry my mom folded at FC? If so, hi there from B.J. (Hartsell) Hall. If not, um, disreguard this message with my apologies.:)
Good to hear from you! I notice your picture is from Mt LeConte. We just came back from the mtns last week. My son and some men and their sons from church hiked it and spent the night up on top. We women stayed behind and shopped and relaxed. It was great. :) Where do you and your family live and what do you do?
Oh man! You would be the perfect DOF! A few weeks ago I got to participate as a judge at a national forensic competition for a homeschooler group. I don't homeschool, but they needed judges from the community. It was fun. Congrats on your new little one and with finding a wonderful mate/kiddos. :) We are living back in Athens now since Bruce's death. I wasn't working outside of the home when we were married, but now that I have to work I am working as an aide at my kids' school.(I have a daughter - 10yrs and a son almost 8 yrs.) Before that, I was working at a school for dyslexia as a reading therapist. I like being at my kids' school mucho better. Other than that and just trying to keep things together in general, that is about all that is going on with us.
Thanks for sharing your website. I didn't look at EVERY picture (I can't lie), but I enjoyed getting a glimpse into what is going on in your life. Katie looks much like I remembered her when she was younger! And so do you, for that matter. ;)
Have you ever watched one of those infomercials on television where the models with one percent body fat talk about how drinking this wonderful detoxifying diet allowed them to lose 120 pounds and gave them all kinds of energy, all the while knowing that these people really did it like everyone else by going down to the gym and sweating like mad, and wondered, "who actually believes this load of dung?" That would be my wife.
She has come to me asking how to lose weight. Now, you may wonder why she would come to her overweight husband to ask that. Apparently credibility assessment isn't her strong suit. That said, I think the answer is obvious. Eat less, exercise more. Well...that's too hard, and not creative enough. Her answer is located in a pill...somewhere. We have spent the last hour looking at the lemonade diet, which is also called a "master cleanse" that does unspeakable things to your colon (Katie: "that looks too hard, I don't think I could do it"), the cabbage soup diet (Katie: "yuck, I don't even like cabbage"), the grapefruit diet (Katie: "I suppose I could gag down a grapefruit if I had to"), Slim-fast (Katie: "I really like Slim Fast, especially with mint chocolate chip ice cream"), the ice cream diet (Katie: "where has this diet been all my life? I wonder if it works?"), and the Hollywood Diet where you drink something a lot like the lemonade diet (Katie: "oooh, I like that you just have to buy it and it can be DELIVERED to you, and I could lose up to TWELVE POUNDS in TWO DAYS! I would only need it for a day and a half!").
When we went to regular exercise sites, Katie was thoroughly unimpressed. "I could work out, I guess...naah." My wife even went to an exercise site sponsored by that mental heavyweight Suzanne Somers. Yes, the same Suzanne Somers whose book of poetry is used as coasters by fine lovers of literature everywhere. Katie thought she might be duped into accidentally exercising if we got a Wii game system with the Fit attachment. Yes, the same woman who refuses to entertain the thought of connecting a Playstation, XBox, or any other hideous gaming system to our television now thinks that she's going to go sweatin' to the oldies if only she had a plastic pad she could jump up and down on and see some Mario like character sweat. She just told me she loves Mario. Knowing Katie, she would figure out that you didn't actually have to do the full push up before the Wii fit registered the action, and she would just hit the pad every once in a while and say, "well THAT'S stupid." Maybe just hitting it would let her lose the ten ounces she's trying to lose.
She's also found something called the "mini stationary bike." It's a set of pedals that fit UNDERNEATH a desk. She is excited that she can burn calories while sitting down...watching TV. Before you get your hopes up, we will NOT be getting the mini stationary bike. She is currently sitting next to me trying to convince me that it could work. I have a glimmer of hope before I remember this is the same woman who spoke glowingly of the Hollywood Diet only twenty minutes before.
I never thought anyone really followed these fad diets. I guess I know better now. My job from here on out is to make sure she doesn't see the infomercials with Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley, anything with a pill, or some piece of plastic that makes an outrageous claim about becoming a bodybuilder from 7 minutes a day.
Katie has even decided she wants to develop her own "Skittles and Dr. Pepper" diet. Honestly, I think she would probably forget to take the Skittles. The Dr. Pepper, however, would be consumed hourly. I don't think it would detoxify anything, but I feel very confident she would be one happy woman.
I feel very strongly that the weight you lose from most of those diets comes directly from your wallet...where you lose a few ounces of $10s, $20s and $100s.
When I was in Italy last summer, I saw an infomercial for some sort of suit that looked alot like a full-bodied adult diaper, but it was designed to make you sweat the pounds away. It must be effective, because the people in the commercial that were wearing the suits had near perfect bodies and all they did was sit around in their suits while they watched TV. It was supposedly a weight loss phenomenon in the United States (they even had an American doctor to vouch for this.)
Wow, Kenny! This is Stephanie (Driver) Edwards and I have really enjoyed reading your posts and remembering how funny you are! Your wife sounds great too - yum, I need to eat some Skittles and ice cream now, maybe not the cabbage though! :-)
