Hey everyone. Did you miss me? I'm still here. I lost the election. That cheaterface Obama stole it from me. But its OK. That was only...my life's sole purpose.
It's OK, really. But now that I'm not the president (again), I need a new goal in my life. A new purpose.
I have a great plan, you could have someone kidnap Obama then disguise yourself as him. LOL or start campaining for the next election. That way you would get more peoples attention.
I think you should start campaigning for the next election, but have your main platform be about how we should tazer all the 7 year olds so that they will stop burping and contributing to global warming.
We live in a troubling time. Banks are falling, stocks are sinking, CEOS are crying for their mummies, and now good King George has spent $700 billion so that everyone can own these worthless mortgages! And in the midst of it all, it's easy to forget the common person, unless you're Al Gore (me), who always keeps his eye on the common person, except when they're in the shower, because I have propriety. I know too many families who are hit hard by this, who are wondering just how they're going to pay for their baby's new diaper.
I know there are now a lot of people wondering who can lead us out of this mess. Those of you who frequent my blog already know that answer.
When I was young, I spent many Saturday mornings with my mother at the stock market. She and I would ride the carriage to the market, all the while singing
To market, to market
To buy a fat stock
Home again, home again
Jiggity Jock!
Once there, we would make a good round of the market, and wouldn't leave until we'd found the ripest, fattest stock, and then we'd haggle with the toothless old man at the booth until he dropped the price from one and three pence to one and two pence, and then we would take the stock and load it up and ride home, singing merrily!
Ah, how times have changed. Now stocks are traded all over the place, not just in New York. They're even traded online, where thanks to the magic of the internet (ahem, you're welcome) you can have your stock digitally transferred into your own refrigerator!
But the problem came when people decided they could start buying stuff, like houses, even when they didn't have any money to do it. Now, I've been around Washington enough to know that only works when it's the government doing it, but when private citizens try to do it, it always spells DISTASTERR.
Now, the only way out is for the government to spend more money it doesn't have, and hopefully that will fix things. I'm surprised that BOTH Obama and McCain have proposed to do just that. You'd think they were in the same party. But, I want to tell you, that neither one of them can do what I can do, that is, spend billions more dollars and be Al Gore at the same time! And that is precisely why you should vote for me!
So there's been a "tagging" going around where if you get tagged you have to list eight weird/interesting facts about yourself and habits you have. Nobody tagged me, but there are some old ladies in Florida who tagged Chuck Baldwin who meant to tag me.
1. I am the rightful president of the United States of America. Most people don't realize this, or they forgot what happened. I won the election. Me, me, me!
2. My earliest memory is from a play I was in in 3rd grade. Most people have earlier memories than that, but I must have misplaced mine. Anyway, I played the part of a tree. I think that explains a lot.
honestly, with the election a month away i'm not sure what kinda chance you would have of getting obama out of the way, unless he like unexpectedly died or something and even then i think hilary would get the nomination.
Haha, well thank you, but I only share my ultra-radical-right-wing-white-middle class values and I don't think you'd appreciate them. Not many other people on pleo appreciate them either, so I'm not even going to try anymore.
When I'm president, my first order of business will be to make a list of one-to-inFINITY things I hate about the environment: One, it has the arm pit smell of Al Gore all over the trees. Two, I'm cold. Someone turn up the Global Warming. Infinity, my back yard is full of crude oil but it's not foreign so I don't like it.
speak to me... tell me words I want to hear... tell me the answer to this question, senator:
If elected president, what will you do about the Andre-the-Giant size meteor astronomers say is headed straight for earth? What would you name it? How could we inhabit it to escape Earth's uninhabitable atmosphere?
